Talking: The Forgotten Skill

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

by ©Patricia Feager 5/8/2017

 

In the land of texting is talking becoming a lost art? The forgotten skill?

Personal Communication

What impact does texting have on loved ones and friends? 

  • Body language is missing
  • People can be misunderstood
  • There could be wrong interpretation
  • Absence of voice recognition 
  • People are oblivious to their surroundings
  • Major distractions and lack of concentration
  • Communication breakdowns
  • Personal touch isn't really personal at all
  • Kids can get bored and zone out

 

Talking

Effects

If talking is becoming a lost art of effective communication, it may take years before we know if there are harmful effects and future problems linking texting to people problems ranging from loneliness to despair. When it comes to human life, the stakes are high and more people are killed as a result of not paying attention to their surroundings than before Cell Phones became a way of life. But on the flip side, texting has become a more effective tool in emergency situations and we can all think of examples, plus we now know, texting and video is the fastest way to spread news and live feeds go viral even before reporters get to report the news or emergency crews arrive. But is it also causing more anxiety? Fear? And should people take more responsibility for their actions or is every text an assumption or a means of urgency? 

 

Communication

Another way to think of communication is to ask the question - Is the message public or private? In business there are many reasons why people need to keep things private but how are our messages being interpreted and how long should a text last? If a text lasts three minutes or longer than perhaps picking up the phone, arranging a meeting, using face-to-face technology without driving or being in a public setting is more appropriate. I'm afraid that ongoing texting results in defective communication that can have detrimental consequences. In any case, it's just an opinion and something to think about. Would love to hear your thoughts too. The response of others to what we think by way of feedback tells us something about our perceptions which in turn has a good way of breaking bad habits. 

 

talking 2

 

 patricia

Patricia's Thought/Tip for the Day

Photos are nice but I miss my beloveds voice that I will never hear again - please TALK while you can.  

 

 

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Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Rebecca Gaujot - I'm beginning to realize, I'm not the only one who is disturbed by this new way of life that seems to be more the norm on a daily basis. What are they doing on their phones? Who are they communicating with? What can be more interesting than the people you're with? It's heartbreaking to look around and see so many people doing the same thing - are they that lonely, bored, or simply ridiculous? Are they trying to act like they are popular and have so many friends and could it be, they have no friends at all....

Thank you for contributing to this post. I think we are all in agreement with you too. 

May 11, 2017 09:48 PM #69
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Lou Ludwig - Will people lose their voice? Will it be harder to speak in public? Are communication skills suffering right under our fingertips? 

Yes! It's a hot, hot topic that doesn't seem to be changing and that's so sad.

Thanks for your great support!

May 11, 2017 09:51 PM #70
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR - I can't stand those long text messages. It takes so much longer and it's so unnecessary. People don't understnad or know how it affects other people, especially when you're driving, trying to eat, or have a private conversation and those text messages keep coming in, buzzing in your ear, and causing distractions. I think it's very rude too.

I agree with you completely and I'm concerned that with this style of communication, lawyers will eat people for lunch in a court room if the general public can't text and will be expected to listen and speak when spoke too. They will clam up and not be able to defend themselves. 

Thanks, Mary. It's always wonderful to hear from you!

May 11, 2017 09:55 PM #71
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Sheri Sperry - MCNE® - I was engrossed by your comments and couldn't help but wonder if you hit on something that I wasn't even thinking of. Could it people we are now officially adapting to this lifestyle? That's a very scary thought!

I remembered my first trip to Japan in 1998. The people from Japan all seemed to have at minimum of two cell phones and they were all walking and talking but to me it looked like they were talking to themselves. I remember thinking how odd it looked.

I remember getting my first Cell Phone in January 2003 and it was only because I became a Real Estate Agent. For me, it was a business tool and necessity. Now everyone, including homeless people and alcoholics on street corners have cell phones and a cup. What on earth have we become???

Oh, I do believe I could sit and talk to you in person for hours and never get bored!

May 11, 2017 10:03 PM #72
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Dörte Engel - I have not seen or heard those statistics. Isn't that fascinating or is it absurd? I'm always blown away when I seen a large family come in to a restaurant and everyone has their own phone, even the young children. Are they texting each other or are they playing games? It just seems like a crazy, wasted time to pay for a dinner and not even enjoy your time with each other.

It's so, so, sad. Thank you for bringing that up about the statistics. I'm afraid it may get worse before it gets better.

May 11, 2017 10:08 PM #73
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Kathleen Daniels - How on earth will children learn to speak up for themselves? As time goes by, what will happen to the English language? I hate to say it, but it seems like all I hear around here in public is every language EXCEPT English! That's a dirty shame. Plus, there's nothing private anymore either. 

Unfortunately, children live what they learn and grow up. Then what???

You and I are on the same page. Thanks, Kathleen. 

May 11, 2017 10:12 PM #74
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Robin Wells - Oh, how I loved to hear what you had to say. Everything resonated so clearly! We need to pay attention to what's going on and not be so distracted. I find that to be very disturbing. In my area, people are always texting and driving and it's so dangerous. Not long ago I honked at a woman whose car kept swerving into my lane. Finally, I laid on the horn and would you believe she got angry and started coming after me while still talking to someone on the phone! She looked like a monster! Common courtesy and safety doesn't see to exist!

It's frightening to see a crowd of people who are out for a reason.... but what is the reason for all that texting out in public? It doesn't make sense! I feel like I'm in a combat zone approaching danger in crowds of people whose focus is on their cell phones and don't look up or worse driving, texting, and talking without any consideration for others. I know, you witness this too.

I enjoyed reading your post very much, especially about the history behind SMS. Seriously, what kind of enjoyment comes from sending long messages with the tap of a finger that doesn't really fit the keys anyways? Help! I don't understand!

You seem to have a lot of knowledge in this department and I appreciate that very much. I hate to admit it, but it seems as if the circle of life revolves around cell phone messaging and people are getting the wrong signals. Are we fast becoming a nation of failure and mutants? Our thoughts are energy and wireless is out of control.

Thank you, so much for all the valuable information and sharing your thoughts too.

Patricia 

 

May 11, 2017 10:25 PM #75
Rainmaker
2,368,162
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

It is quite the age of text these days but doesn't replace good talking to you face-to-face.

May 11, 2017 10:26 PM #76
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Greg Mona - Your writing is superb! You must be a great conversationalist! It seems as if society has come full circle - everyone is using text and nobody is talking except through messages. What's the message? What can we do with the mind, collectively, even in small ways when eating out in public? It's as if people are on drugs and the addiction is becoming worse; yet nobody is trying to stop it! The only one who screams are the ones who gets hurt. We really need to pay attention to this and try to help those around us, close enough that trust us to stop the madness!

Thank you! I love your comments!

May 11, 2017 10:33 PM #77
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Robert Hicks - Did you read the comment by Sheri Sperry - MCNE®. She mentioned people are adapting. The reality is, she  is right! 

Your message is so profound and greatly appreciated too!

Thank you, very much for expressing yourself so clearly. I enjoyed reading what you had to say. 

May 11, 2017 11:01 PM #78
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Richie Alan Naggar - Your posts and comments always peak my interest and gives me pause to think and pay attention. So what's the formula or strategy for getting people to promote more effective communication? Can this habit be broken? It has become a way of life and a part of our culture. 

As always, I enjoy hearing from you friend. 

May 11, 2017 11:04 PM #79
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Shirley Coomer - I agree with you 100%. Oddly enough I had a client that consistenly sent text messages on an on-going, continuous basis between 6 and 7 a.m. I remember saying, I appreciate the messages, but I'm driving down 635 (which is one of the most dangerous roads in North Texas) and could it wait until I got off the road where it was safe? The answer was no. I nearly had a stroke. 

May 11, 2017 11:08 PM #80
Rainmaker
1,437,707
Patricia Feager
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Southlake, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Laura Cerrano - You're right. Text can be short and sweet or long and rude. We have to fix this problem.

Have a great night!

May 11, 2017 11:09 PM #81
Rainmaker
3,675,388
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Franklin, MA
"Franklin MA Homes"

Good morning, Patricia Feager social media is responsible for socially disfunctional children.... they don't need to speak and when they need to participate in a public speaking class in college, the results will say it all....  I really dislike texting to team members.... so much is misinterpreted.... well deserved feature....

May 12, 2017 04:40 AM #82
Rainmaker
316,382
Donna & Larry Johnson
Keller Williams Real Estate - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County

So true. The problem is most of the buyers that I work with would rather text than talk on the phone.

May 12, 2017 08:35 AM #83
Rainmaker
128,664
Diana White-Pettis
Exit Bennett Realty - Upper Marlboro, MD
GRI, CDPE, CNE, WHC Upper Marlboro Homes for Sale

This is a fantastic post.  Text and emails have their place in the world of convenience, but nothng replaces face-to-face contact or a personal phone call.  I totally agree that we need to talk while we can.  I'm so glad that my mother and I used to do that everyday and now that she goes I truly appreciate those talks and the laughs we shared.

May 12, 2017 12:02 PM #84
Rainmaker
521,512
Kasey & John Boles
Jon Gosche Real Estate, LLC - BoiseMeridianRealEstate.com - Boise, ID
Boise & Meridian, ID Ada/Canyon/Gem/Boise Counties

I have  not read all of the comments, but I am going to come back later and do so.  I have to admit that I'd rather talk to someone by email, messenger or text.  I actually loathe the phone.  However, I don't like what technology has done to us and even though I'm not that old, I long for the days where nobody had cell phones. -Kasey

May 12, 2017 05:30 PM #85
Rainmaker
2,300,623
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Wow I guess I am late to this party:) will have to call you  soon:)) Endre

May 12, 2017 11:51 PM #86
Ambassador
3,354,418
Praful Thakkar
eXp Realty - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Patricia Feager - On my way back from San Diego to Boston, more than half of the passengers were staring at their smartphone!

Should we consider this as a new way of communication? Sad but true - the art of listening is getting obscure.

May 13, 2017 09:27 PM #87
Rainer
123,910
Anita S. Zahn
Advantage Realty 863-840-1420 - Sebring, FL
Highlands County Real Estate Source! I work 4 U!

Great post!!   I brought this up in a meeting 2 weeks ago.  Communication is becoming a lost art.  Modern technology is the down fall of our professionalism.  Not only us as Realtors.  It affects us all.  I prefer picking up the phone and having a real conversation with the person I am communicating with you can't put true compassion, concern, or feeling into a text or email.

My kids know if you want to talk to mom you better pick up the phone!

May 25, 2017 08:03 AM #88
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