In the everyday parlance, to know me and I know you in the private sense is called intimacy. Do not confuse this with knowing about something or someone but instead knowing in and of them personally. There is no substitute for this connection but many try to bridge the gap in vain. You see intimacy requires something to make the connection
RISK
You have to reveal who you are and what you believe in and overcome what may be come of it. The risk to do so comes with one of the most powerful dynamics on the planet. Before I reveal that, let me say that growth awaits anyone who risks. Its the price to pay but also the reward for doing so.
RESISTANCE
How do we know a growth is forth coming? In the majority of the times, an either slight or overwhelming resistance will present itself signaling to the real you that something good is coming if you let it and or meet up with it with some little effort or at the very least...don't resist or interfere!
REJECTION (ouch)
If something doesn't go quite right, so deep is the pain from revealing ones-self or even offering a glimpse that the mere thought of rejection as in "what if this doesn't work" or "I am turned away" or "I bungle it" actually keeps the majority from venturing forth. They would rather suffer another pain than to suffer the pain of rejection.
COOTIES?
Remember how bad it hurt in school during your younger, innocent years? When someone ignored you, made fun of you or labeled you "not right" (cooties) lol and how if anyone agreed, your world was crushed. The opposite was true too. If you risked and were accepted, you ruled all you surveyed.
WHO ARE YOU?
I am not talking about public relations or good marketing where you sell products, services or images. I refer to the uniqueness and core of the question. You are one of a kind making you most valuable so just who is this one of a kind? People are scared to seek their own or share what they know or don't know
VULNERABLE
Opening ones self up to just anybody in today's society comes with triple risk and potential harm and deep hurt as well. This subject demands respect and special handling. Perhaps a prerequisite is required or some sort of game rule or procedure. One should move slowly while testing the moment (s)
TRUST
To confide in someone or open yourself up to anything requires a comfort and an invitation of a sort. Is it safe? Inviting? Non-threatening? Even so, there are people at large who have learned the delicate aspects of the human nature and know how to talk and project what appears to be genuine but is not!
THAT BURNS
Being betrayed, used or abused while open and vulnerable is up there with 3rd degree burns. Divorce anyone? A woman's scorn? One night stands? Dating? Theft or invasion of privacy? False pretenses? Being fired! Denied? The hurt from these experiences makes intimacy have to lose its spontaneity
WHY DO WE KEEP PURSUING INTIMACY?
The reward from actually getting intimate and giving intimate is immeasurable and very fulfilling. Love is involved, caring at the least which validates and rewards the inner parts like catnip to a cat. To love and be loved makes us have more than food, shelter or clothing. It makes us very real and necessary
FIND JUST ONE GOOD ONE OF THESE...
A friend. Just let that sink in because it has so much going for it. The word friend has no bottom as a good one surpasses thoughts and words and just is. Money, material goods, defects and disappointments cannot chase a good friend away but instead a strange dynamic kicks in when you have a decent friend
IT MAKES YOU STRONGER
When the test of friendship is challenged and survives, its better than power, fame or money. When two people come out of a testing episode for the better, the friendship is stronger, deeper and takes on a life of its own. Like anything of value, it takes work. The nature of that work is interesting too
WHAT TYPE OF WORK?
- patience
- allowances?
- turning the other cheek
- sacrifices
- long suffering
ARE YOU... YOU?
Time and test is the only way to invest (richfuscious) as the saying goes. Those that operate on impulses, strong emotions and undisciplined thoughts suffer needlessly but there is that paradox again. That is what teaches you not to as well. Everyone wonders about the following at some point or another..
IS IT TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?
Sad state of affairs we find ourselves in this current condition of the human race when we have to doubt or hesitate in our interactions but that is the reality the world has created. Being careful before letting oneself go is prudent and not doing so can be considered careless.
PROCRASTINATION....THE "TIME" CARD
I'll get to it or maybe next time is such a handy, ready-made and reliable excuse that seems to work but it actually contributes to leakage as in something good within your grasp is escaping. You actually see this in the moment, your heart & stomach signals its there & its true but you refuse & fail to claim it. Maybe next time? This is a subtle robber of life of the highest degree. Next time is not guaranteed!
WHATS THE BEST TIME?
No time like the present! How many times have you heard this? That's how familiar this is while it should just be obeyed it turns into a cliche. If you seize the day (carpe diem) then you wont need this catchy phrase or anything else. Why? Because you will be busy enjoying the moment you captured!
AT THE VERY LEAST....
Everyone deserves some sort of acknowledgment in the form of a minimum gesture like eye contact or hand or body movement to a small phrase or passing statement. Here is practice intimacy arenas that allow you to experiment and get comfortable for when the one you really want presents itself
MEMORIES?
These are okay but give me experiences in the moment that activate my inner parts and allow my uniqueness, abilities and personality to be shown and known. These enter deep within the persons involved surpassing memory and emotions. You get this confirmation of truly living not just existing
Look for your next opportunity to know...and be known and enjoy this magnificent dynamic up close
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