Gary~ I for one have learned this directly through Active Rain and other networks. What initially strated off as marketing myslef and services, quickly became more about learning, networking and friends. Once I realized the difference, business increased dramatically, as did the quality of clients:) Very good lesson to be learned, and very well put!

I wouldn't say ''friendship' trumps everytime....but it does sometimes for sure......a 'relationship' can take on many different forms....'credibility and trust' can be built with 'name brand real estate companies and well known realtors'.......relatively quickly....I've seen it happen..

I think a lot depends on the individual...for some 'loyalty' trumps all, for others its 'family first'....for many its $$$ first'...or lowest 'commission -or kick-back' first. ....'bottom - line'.....and some specifically on principal will separate their 'private /financial/housing issues'.......from friends and family (realtors). 

I truly believe in 'relationship selling'....and that is how I work....but it is interesting to me the variety of ways people make decisions like this.......different perspectives

My wife and I are both in the business.  I've noticed that I am more superior to marketing myself than my wife is at marketing herself... but she's the social butterfly, I'm not.  Even though we're both Quality Service Certified, and I have more listings than she has, she does a great job at locking in the sale.  Still she ends up cleaning my clock with the clients because she's a "people person."  That's why we make such a good team. 

Another thing is recognizing our strengths and weaknesses and playing off of them.  It's nice having a partner to play off of too.  Having that synergy effect helps stave off the competition.

Gary,

And relationships and skills together are a knockout punch!!! Thanks,   Fran

Gary,

Building relationship  is key. It makes sense, we tend to do business with the people we know.

When you combine the personal relationship with great branding and a strong, supportive brokerage that meets the needs of the consumer, you really have the total package!

The relationship will get it even if they know you are excellent because they bought the house from you!  They love you but will choose the friend of their friend because of relationships.  Bah Humbug!!

I hate to disagree, but sometimes friends try to sell their friends homes and they are from a different town that does not have experience in the area.  They don't know the other realtors, the market, etcc.  You can be the best friend in the world, but if you can't sell your clients home, its time to tell them to choose another realtor- as a friend would do.

You are so right.  In fact, I'll go further.  I think I work even harder for people with whom I have a relationship, so that they will never be sorry they gave the business to someone they know.

Because I am a workaholic, I don't have a lot of friends. My "sphere of influence" is small. Most sellers list with me because they know that I am the best person for the job -- offering more than 30 years in the business -- plus I have my company's backing. I work with the largest independent real estate brokerage in Sacramento. In the area where I specialize, we list more homes than anybody else, so not only do my buyers get first offerings before any other buyer in town, but I have the power of 15 offices behind me that are working to sell the home. I could work by myself, but why? Position me against a seller's friend any time, and I will most likely win the listing. Because nobody should conduct business with friends strictly for friend's sake.

Hi Gary,

Not so sure I totally agree with you on this one. Listing or buying with a friend may, or may not be the thing to do at times. I've dialogued with others and said something to the effect that, " You may want to hire your friend because they will do the best job for you, and not just because they are your friend".

BTW, I use an "Easy Exit" listing agreement, they can fire me if they're unhappy with me. So the question I pose is that "Could you fire your friend or family member?"

Just so you know my SOI is essential to my business, and personally I hope they will use me because they do think I'm the best person for the job.

I agree that the friend mentality will win out most of the time.

Gary - I've only lived in my area for 9 years and starting out as a new agent I had little to no sphere of influence. But, I did have a stash and set aside marketing $ right from the start and did regular self promotion. It didn't take long for me to "buy" my reputation. Today, I do very little self-promo. I generally can beat out the "friends" just because the reputation I finally earned from esperience as I stayed in business. I win over and over now because of the "earned" reputation, along with the experience I've gained, awards, results and all the other important things a seller is looking for in a candidate. I now have many friends here but most know me as a dedicated proffesional who is driven to get results. I don't think any of therm would ever hesitate to hire me, nor would they need to interview anybody else. My friends are all strong supporters who refer their friends and family because they are confident in me. I guess what I am saying, I think a friend must know your capable before they put their trust in you.         

To quote the worn out phrase that is still true, "People don't care how much you know til they know how much you care".  So true!  So let's get out there and let them know us AND how much we care!

Laura: Marketing YOURSELF is very important.

Liz: All good points. Some do hire just for cheap commissions.

Jon: People Persons I notice rule.

Fran: The dynamic duo!!

Jennifer: That's why networking events are great for people to know you.

Jan: You have many arrows in your quiver to win the deal.

Barbara: I think you are saying strong relationship is important.

Judy: I agree, when you are across town you are probably not the best fit for them.

Susan: You have your reputation (and friendship) to uphold : )

Elizabeth: You definitely have a powerful story and value to offer which knocks the friend argument on its ear ; )

Lynda: I'm hearing a consistent theme from the veterans that they can beat this friend idea, plus have a solid SOI / past customers to fall back if need be. That's probably why they are veterans : )

Bart: I have just seen that friend mentality a lot and it boggles my mind sometimes.

Carol: Your confidence and results draw them in, and now that you have lived in the area awhile our friendships add to that. Cool!

Steve: I use that phrase a lot and believe it too.

Gary,  I was reading a blog last night and it asked a question if email was sent in response to comments would it be perceived as spam.  I said not normally because we tend to trust our fellow Rainers.  Then I relized this was a company blog with a logo instead of a picture and not person's name found in the profile.  So, I had to reconsider.  So, I say personal relationships trump company relationships.  

Jimmy: Absolutely. If you and I knew each other has drinking buddies (or Starbucks coffee get together pals), what difference would the company I represented mean to you? You would trust me. Branding is important but like you said personal relationship goes a long way. Want to play some golf Saturday? : )

What you say is so true.  In that same vein of thought Dale Carnegie said he would hire enthusiasm any day over diplomas.

I agree, I would much rather get and give a referral from someone I knew or had been told about.

Trey: I have heard an expression that selling is a transfer of enthusiasm, which goes to your point.

Cindy: Referrals are amazingly powerful. Once again emphasizing relationships.

Gary - I kinda sorta agree with you on this one... relationships trump skill where the seller or buyer doesn't know the difference.  Compared side by side, the skill and experience I bring to the table will generally trump the casual relationship.  That said, many folks never look beyond the relationships and frankly many end up worse off for it.

Most sellers tend to list with someone they feel comfortable with. besides an online presence it helps to get to know people in your neighborhood . Good post.

Building that relationship with someone you may have just met is one of the most important aspects of our job.  Well put.

Tina in Virginia

Jesse: Relationship plays such a strong role, and I think clients that ONLY look at that as you pointed out could in some cases not be getting the best specialist for their situation.

Gita: I agree with having a good online presence plus being the local expert.

Tina: It all starts with relationship building and that first conversation.

Relationships are key with every aspect of life even real estate.  People want to work with someone they feel comfortable with.

Relationships are top priority. I have changed companys a few times in the last 7 years. At first, I was terrified because I thought I would loose my clients. Guess what??? They have followed me everywhere I have gone.

Patricia: I think that word "comfortable" is the key.

Becky: See, you were so good they followed you. Surprised you didn't it?  : )

Gary, well said I have experienced this lately. Some times it drives me nuts.