I know a strange title for this one. But you're dealing with a strange writer / REALTOR who sees the world in rainbow bands of color while many are living lives in shades of gray. Bear with my offbeat self. First off a few quotes for reference sake:
Money will not buy you happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places, or comfortable while you're being miserable.
I've been rich and I've been poor. Rich is better.
And a favorite of mine along this theme from Woody Allen, "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
After inspections on homes for sale, there are the requested home repairs. I have noticed with people with money, getting these repairs attended to is no problem, whereas those with financial difficulties or those under water in home loans resist doing complete repairs or negotiate only to do what is necessary to satisfy a buyer.
It seems like the observation I see is
MONEY MAKES LIFE EASIER. IT BUYS FREEDOM.
What does this have to do with nursing homes? They have something in common with home repairs.
One of the most evident examples in life of the power of money that I have ever seen is with the care of our most vulnerable in society, those in nursing homes. With lots of financial resources family can get great nursing home care or even 24 hour care at home. On the opposite side with no family nearby to care or limited money, elderly patients suffer greatly, and can feel the sting of being unloved and uncared for, not to mention neglect in a nursing home. It is very real and very sad.
Money can clear away many problems in an instant is what I've seen similar between the two situations. Along with what we bring to the world with our love and tenderness, never underestimate the power of money to ease suffering and make some problems vanish.
Which brings me to my final quote for those who aspire to success in terms of acquiring money. Remember we are stewards of such riches and it is a blessing to us. The quote comes from a very wealthy woman herself, Oprah Winfrey.
WEALTH IS A GREAT THING TO HAVE AND A GREAT THING TO SHARE.
If our lives take us down the road where we are blessed to accumulate much financial resources, one would hope we would live lives of benevolence and charity and share what we have. After all, to whom much has been given, much will be demanded from them.
Hi Gary. Wonderful post as usual. I remember being a little girl with my mom in line at the grocery store. Before credit cards. My mom didn't have enough money to get everything on the conveyor belt. I don't think I will ever forget the look on her face as she tried to decide what we didn't need. It may be that on that day, she simply forgot to bring enough money. But more than likely, if my memory serves me, my Dad was out of work again and she simply couldn't make ends meet. It is true that money won't buy happiness but I agree with Woody Allen, who said: Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. When I deliver meals on wheels, I have to pick the food up at a nursing home. I don't know if it's a good one or a bad one, but I do know that I will do everything in my power to try to keep my mom with me if I can physically do it. I pray that I will be able to afford home care if and when the time comes. I get sad just walking into the building.
There are so many directions my thoughts have gone with your post here... the strongest one being that the picture of the woman in the nursing home... well, my mom was in a hospice wing of one, towards her last months. She lived very simply & was extremely resourceful. She also had blue eyes and a great sense of humor. There were a couple times in my life when I was completely struggling, and she mailed me a hundred dollar bill, wrapped in foil, with a sweet, handwritten note of hope and courage. It completely surprised me & softened my world and placed a ribbon of hope upon it. I knew, for her, it was like sending a thousand dollars. Like I said, she lived simply and recycled things & shopped at the thrift stores...---- but she always expressed a generous. The really crazy thing was, after she passed away, turns out she left $10,000 for each of her 7 children. Okay, she got the last laugh--- she really did. We were all pretty shocked, to say the least. But more than anything, it illustrated her legacy of abudant hopefulness and her enthusiasm for carrying on, cheerfully and with a grateful heart. (SORRY! to have gotten carried away here. I've never gotten to tell that story!).
Barbara: I think despite all the love in the world we can give, bills keep coming in and it is a reality. Having money definitely gives us choices.
William: When you live on the scarcity side of life you can appreciate abundance. When others share their abundance with you, you have found a saint.
Susan: A tremendous story of the pain of lacking the resources to take care of the basic needs. With your beautiful heart and determination your Mom, I know, will ALWAYS be in good hands. There is entirely too much sadness in some nursing homes I agree. I wish I could fix that problem on a large scale.
Mara: Thank you so much for your personal story of your Mom in hospice. I selected the picture because it reminded me of my mother, like yours, with the blue eyes, who is getting at home care. Your mother had a very generous soul, and a flair for the surprise for you all with her gifts to her children. The littlest of things can make our day sometimes. Take that great lesson and practice it in your own life, which I am sure you do.
I just know that I want to make enough so that when I am in a nursing home, I want to live in dignity. Its sad that people's diginity is taken away right before they pass away
Judy: I think you understand where the sadness comes from, it is from pulling the dignity away. I know we can work on this one person at a time, but if you visit many nursing homes it is overwhelming at times. And with the aging Boomers generation and the masses that will live longer, who knows where this is going?
Carol: Good point, spend it while you have it or pass the wealth on to your family.
Gary, A perfect song to go with a very sad and very true story. Here I have seen the upscale nursing homes and the ones that run strictly on donation where there is often not enough care for the residents. Often times their families don't even come to visit. When I decided to do a large scale community project I chose a non profit facility for the elderly....we painted, cleaned, and completely redid the deck so they could go outside. It's awful that in China and many other places the elderly are revered for their knowledge....here they are often put away so they don't interfere with people's busy lives. (sorry, too for the long comment, it hit a nerve).
Carole: I have noted the same things with the Asian cultures and them caring more about the aged. What is wrong with our American culture that "some" want to isolate the elderly and not give them the highest level of respect and as others said here "preserve their dignity." Of all the problems on the horizon this one might be an epidemic for our country if we don't figure out a solution. It hits a nerve with me too.
I liked "...but it will let you be unhappy in nice places", funny.
And what you said about "those with financial difficulties or those under water in home loans resist doing complete repairs" reminded me of a message from my pastor, and it has to do with HOPE. When people lose hope (in whatever it may be) everything changes.
Lynda: Yes, the opposite of hope is despair, and it is not a pretty place to be. We all should uplift each other and give hope. The light of a little candle goes a long way to coming out of the darkness.
Gary: Many of your friends here on AR love to see the world from your eyes, in rainbow shades as you say. The world needs more positive people who can turn those shades of gray into vibrant colors and you do a wonderful job of that for us. For that, I thank you! Your friend, Steve
No kidding, it cost a bundle to get the bare minimum necessary care. My grandmother, bless her soul, went to a really nice (medium priced) nursing home and stayed for a couple months before she died. That cost $6,000.00 a month. She had money set aside in a health care plan to pay for her care when she was unable to care for herself. They was only for about 2 months. DID YOU KNOW....there is long term health care insurance for this very thing. I beleive it is about $1,2000 and up. AND if you are the one taking care of the elderly person you could be recouping the money for your family / getting paid from the long term health care insurance. Whats worse is knowing some of these neglected old people do have family that could take them in or at least care for them at their home AND THEY DON"T.
This post struck a chord with me! My mother, who recently passed, spent several of her last months in a nursing home...I learned this: Nursing homes are like Active Rain and society itself...there are many caring professionals who rise above 'money' and pride themselves on professionalism and provide love and care to all equally...and then there are the rest!!! Thanks, Fran
Heather: Good point about long term health insurance. If you get it on yourself early in life the premiums are not exorbitant, but later in life it is very costly. Family abandoning their own is a sad tale for sure.
Fran: Yep, good ones with caring individuals and other nursing homes that are overwhelmed with the level of care they provide. We all need to talk with each other in this area and like Realtors get recommendations for the good ones.
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Gary, you have written a good blog about money vs. being broke. I agree with you. Having enough money to be comfortable is much better.