IT IS ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON NOT YOU
Are you a good listener? Agents that learn this skill garner more business and loyal clients.
How do you feel when someone is telling you want they think YOU should do?
You probably don’t see their point. Moreover, you probably deeply resent being “told.” Many times, even if it is good advice, you resist following it.
Unfortunately, too many people use the same technique in trying to persuade someone.
Here is a recent encounter I had with a sales consultant. I was questioning the comparable features offered by two different iPhone telecommunications carriers. During the conversation, I pointed out that one carrier had an additional benefit. The additional benefit enabled the user to check an email or check on the Internet while using the phone. The consultant shot back, “you’re not going to surf the Internet while you are driving.” What? How did he make that leap? I had a legitimate reason for wanting this service. When I am at a remote office I can email something to a client while we are speaking. I do most of my work out of the office. I think I had a legitimate need but he was not listening nor had he asked about my needs. He was only trying to steer me.
The point is that we need to listen twice as much as we talk. That is why we have two ears and one mouth. In order to connect with people, we have to communicate and communication is a two way street. I think it’s a fair statement to say that how well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.
For some reason people place a high priority on speaking and presentation skills but do not place the same emphasis on listening skills. Without downgrading the importance of good speech, it would be better for us to upgrade the importance and quality of our listening habits. If we believe that empathy is an important trait then we should realize that is impossible to understand people are thinking or feeling if we do all the talking.
For better results follow these 10 keys to selling yourself and influencing others
1. Stop Talking. Make sure the other person is finished. A longer pause will help and make sure you don't step on the other person's conversation.
2. Focus on the other person. Give the other person your undivided attention. Keep you eyes off other things like computers and cell phones.
3. Show active participation. Nod, ask questions, try to understand and give your full attention.
4. Empathize. Take a moment to understand the other person’s viewpoint even if you disagree. You don't have to agree but they want to know that you can appreciate what they are saying.
5. Keep an open mind. Be very slow to disagree or criticize. Ask questions to probe for understanding. Questions help them discover answers for themselves rather than you ramming it down their throat.
6. Have patience for people who take longer to express themselves. Remember again to pause after they speak before beginning to speak.
7. Nonverbal signals have more meaning than the words. Are the nonverbal signals in sync with the words?
8. Watch for your nonverbal signals and control your emotions.
9. Provide feedback. For example, paraphrase with, "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying."
10. Lighten up. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. Appropriate humor can help to insure positive outcomes.
Remember, It is not about you. Focus on the other person. See a similar post on our web site titled SUCCEED BY FOCUSING ON THE OTHER PERSON.
Need help in communicating and influencing?
Contact Us for a Free Consultation
or call 914-953-4458.
Business Coach - Strategic Plans - Sales and Marketing Coach
Grant Schneider - Leadership and Business Coach Creating Successful Business Outcomes
President Performance Development Strategies
- Business Performance and Strategic Business Plans
- Organizational Effectiveness
- Time Effectiveness and Organization
914-953-4458, Armonk NY 10504 grant@pdstrategies.com
Visit my website www.pdstrategies.com for information on how you can obtain quantum leaps in your business performance.
Helping businesses go from "good to great"
Comments(10)