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Being human is about change and accepting it.

By
Real Estate Agent with The Virtual Real Estate Team 104556

This week we got up to a beautiful morning by the ocean and were greeted with this site. It reminds me of how growing up I never thought about the ocean and didn't see one until I was 17. Now the ocean draws me ever closer and although not possessed with an abundance of water signs, it is where I know feel at home. What happens to us when we change for better or worse?

Hopefully being truly human is not taking yourself as the arbiter of all truth and embracing change when you see it to be productive or right. When Emmet Fox wrote The Sermon on the Mount in the early 1950's he defined being righteous as doing the right thing and I have always put that at the top of my business practice. But this is not about business as much as the struggle sometimes to change so let me give two examples of hard change for me.

I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's in a fundamentalist extreme state of religion. I also grew up when racial prejudice was an accepted practice in Oklahoma. The Jim Crow laws had been superseded by "separate but equal" de facto segregation. After all I was taught that as whites we were superior to African-Americans and so we shouldn't mingle in any way. The only concession to the boredom of an all white school was one Chinese-American family, that was it. Also in the church we were taught to constantly fear the Devil tempting us with homosexuality and of course those people were condemned to hell no matter what as were the Catholics. You just can't make this stuff up. So what changed?

On race it was when I went to George Washington University in DC in the 1960s. I worked for the US Senate while in college and some colleagues invited me to a party of other capitol workers. I didn't realize that almost everyone was African-American and college educated. For the first time I realized what they must have felt in the reverse. I also saw how intelligent these folks were and open to friendship with me. Much more happened in my life but the old ways started to drift away. One caveat, if you think that all prejudice is gone just by willing it you are wrong. For us older folks there can be times where it wants to emerge so you keep working on it.

On homosexuality, homophobia turned to acceptance once I got to know more about it and how it is nature versus nurture. I also started to lose friends and people I knew to a strange disease that didn't have a name but later became the HIV/AIDS that was rapidly spreading. I became involved in a fund raising group in honor of my lost friends and we created homes for singles and heterosexual couples who had contracted this scourge. Just like with racial prejudice it is not enough to just change your mind, being human also requires action for the betterment of society. 

My Mother was my example of how change never stopped. Even at 95 she came to accept my lack of belief in religion and like me accepted that we are all equal given the opportunity to be, and even came around to the idea of gay marriage. At times like this I think of the wistful Jimmy Buffett song, A Pirate looks at 40. The only difference is that this pirate is looking at 70. I am not here to brag about my change, in fact I have felt shame in some of my old beliefs. I am still working on my hostility to religion which is more about my own experience rather that others experience. I also believe that being human means that truth only extends as far as your nose, and like being an Eskimo it only kinds it's real truth when we rub noses with others. Change should not be feared although that is a very human emotion also. Until the next change I vow to try to always maintain my tolerance, my compassion, and my love in spite of the evils of racism and bigotry we see today. I have been there and done that maybe not to the extent we see in the media but there all the same. I accept my change but i also accept my faults. After all, it is only human to do so.

 

Belinda Spillman
Aspen Lane Real Estate Colorful Colorado - Aurora, CO
Colorado Living!

It is funny how we evolve dispite the environments we grew up in.  I grew up in the 60's and 70's and saw all kinds of things being in California at the time and the youngest of 4.  Being forced to attend Catholic school for 8 years left a bad taste in my mouth once I was bale to make my own decisions.  

This is a great post and gives us all a sneak peek into the real person you are today.

Aug 27, 2017 09:58 AM
Jim Cheney
Saint Francis Property Santa Rosa, CA - Santa Rosa, CA
Rincon Valley Realtor 707.494.1055

That you for the personal story and insight Joe Pryor .  I still take the ocean for granted.  I should go look at it as if I'm seeing it for the first time. 

Aug 27, 2017 10:23 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Joe it's so interesting to hear more about your upbringing and the old belief systems. We were raised so differently. I didn't realize Catholic's were on he condemed list for Baptists. I wonder how that came about. So pointless all this stuff, isn't it. Thankfully life has changed for the better.

Aug 27, 2017 11:31 AM
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

The good news, times are constantly changing, as are people, and while we're definitely not where we should be yet, we are moving in a positive direction. Change often takes generations to affect, as you can attest. Thanks for sharing your story.

Aug 27, 2017 12:43 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Your experiences in youth, and your evolution away from them are very interesting, Joe.  My youth wasn't quite as radical as your's.  Afterall, I grew up in California.  In fact, I didn't really understand there was a problem with race until the 1960s, and I learned what was going on elsewhere in the nation.

Aug 27, 2017 05:21 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Joe, on having this blog FEATURED in the PHOTOS group!

Aug 27, 2017 05:24 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

Being all pretty much the same age we grew up in turbulent times Joe Pryor. I was happy to learn your insight... 

Aug 27, 2017 08:30 PM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Change is always a certainty Joe Pryor and your insightful post is a thoughtful piece for all to read.

Aug 28, 2017 01:29 AM
James Dray
Fathom Realty - Bentonville, AR

Good morning Joe.

Like you I was raised in the 50's-60's.  I take it from my parents, they had no racial bigotry, gay relationships and so on. I was taught other than the color of ones skin we are all human.

Aug 28, 2017 02:33 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Change is inevitable and even though we don't agree with all changes, we should try to accept them and make the best of them.

Aug 28, 2017 10:39 AM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

We grew up during similar times. Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts. You are very human and real, Joe.

Aug 28, 2017 07:10 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Joe, for sharing some of your personal life.

Aug 29, 2017 04:48 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

I love this, Joe and I also understand completely, your family-imposed sentiments about race and sexual preference. I think most of our generation has had to deal with that in one way, shape or form because of parental biases we 'learned' growing up.

De-segregation occurred for me in the 5th grade. Until then, we had only been exposed to an African-American housekeeper/nanny, who I was crazy about. The first day of school, I remember feeling sorry for the 'new' students, thinking that being in an Air Force family, I knew all too well, how being the new kid on the block felt.

So, I befriended the first girl to come into my classroom - moving desks to sit beside her and welcome her into our school. That began a very long friendship and also helped with those long-time predjudices that generations before ours had imposed upon us. I never looked back and somehow, that experience managed to erase all of those predjudices for me - I have no idea how but, it could have been an age thing! It could also been the 'freedom' I personally felt, defying my parents beliefs! Whatever the reason, I'm thankful that I haven't had to fight those demons during adulthood. 

Thanks for sharing from your heart, Joe. That is something that not many in our generation will ever do - I think opening up the discussion is a wonderful way for 'both sides' to understand where the other side came from.

Aug 30, 2017 07:35 AM
Victoria Ray Henderson
HomeBuyer Brokerage - Washington, DC
Washington DC Real Estate

What a wonderful honest reflection on change. I am grateful for change even though it usually comes with a little sadness or grief over the way things were. Our children are both in college. The house is pretty quiet and it took some getting used to but I'm happy they are getting an education. Thanks Joe!

Aug 30, 2017 01:02 PM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Joe,

 What a heartfelt blog. I commuted to Tulsa for 9 ( long ) months but the boss was good to me he paid for the commute. The more I saw of Tulsa the less I wanted to move there why because of things you said in this blog. There was so much bigotry and ignorance I did not want to expose my kids to this, but then what did I know I was Catholic and oh yes hispanic!

Feb 09, 2018 09:33 AM