Today, the very first day of October....my Mom would have been 96...the anniversaries are hard....Holidays are not ever the same.....and we miss her every day. David lost his Mom when he was 15 so we always said that My Mother was as much his as mine since he knew her as an adult and had her for more years ....and shared a home with her during the last six months of her life. He was more of a son to her than her own who lived on the other side of the country....making sure that the fresh corn on the cob she loved all summer was part of her lunch...the Candy raisins and Violet lozenges ehe enjoyed...and a nightly game of "Tick" were all part of their relationship.
My mother did have a "flair for the dramatic".....and even chose that the day she left us which was on Thanksgiving, four years ago next month. The word "celebrate" rings very hollow on that day...it was it our house for years as were almost all holidays...except Christmas eve...we try keeping the good memories in our hearts and live the kind of lives that would still make her proud of us.
The first night of her six month stay with us....she slept in what had been Dini's room....we forgot to explain that he had to give it up or share it before we went to bed that evening. In the middle of the night we heard...
"Get Down ! Get Off" coming from the room down the hall....and had to explain as best we could to Dini that sharing was a good thing...best done at the foot of the bed....and for the next six months he became her "nurse"....and if there was a drink of water to get....a pill ....any need at all that we did not hear first...he came into our room and Meowed loudly to let us know that Mom needed some attention....when things were taken care of to his "satisfaction" and hers...he resumed his "post" at the bottom of the bed.
I had the Health Care Power of Attorney for both my parents and when the time came....we opted to have home hospice care. The nurse came, they delivered a hospital bed....and Dini seemed to know that things were not quite as anyone wished they would be. He never went back in the room they had shared....he sat outside and stood guard...never leaving his new post for the thankfully four short days she was in hospice.
They had a daytime ritual...as you see in the picture above...sitting in the living room reading, visiting, playing....and after Mom was gone...every day for what seemed like forever Dini would go back to that spot...seemingly waiting for her return. Tears would fall then like they are now...remembering that relationship...and the many memories she has left us for a lifetime.
My Dad left us over a decade before her and we like to think that after the 56 years that they were married...they are once again enjoying the relationship they had for over half a century....and are with us in spirit every day.
If you are lucky enough to still have a parent...appreciate it...enjoy it and let them know you love them...you don't know when the next time you tell them will be the last time....make every meeting, phone call....text or email...special...Parents are the most special people, treasure the time you are given with them.