Special offer

What (who?) is the subject of this sentence?

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

Yesterday’s email brought a prime example of confused communication. I know what it meant, but because two words were missing, that’s not what it said.

Here’s the headline: When Elected Governor, Healthcare Costs Can & Will Be Loweredconfusion

The phrase “when elected governor” has nothing to hang on except healthcare costs – and I’m almost positive that healthcare costs are NOT going to be elected governor. Had he included the words “I am” after when, the whole thing would have made sense.

This message made me think he’s someone who doesn’t pay attention to details. Someone else probably wrote it, but doesn’t he approve what is sent out under his name? Hmmm…

Where this pops up most often in real estate:

Every now and then I come across something like “As your agent, you can rely on me to…” (As your agent is modifying you – and that makes no sense at all.)

This is related to the misplaced modifier problem. Remember “The woman hit the cow in the red car.” I suppose a cow could have been in a red car, but it’s not likely.

Your reader will eventually figure out what you meant, but in the meantime, the momentum of your message is gone. The flow from your brain to your reader's brain is broken, as he or she becomes focused on the words rather than the meaning.

So – I repeat myself yet again: Proofread, proofread, and proofread again. Check for typos, mis-used words, and misspellings, and make sure what you wrote makes good sense.

Your goal is to communicate, not to confuse.

 

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Comments (3)

Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

I always learn a little more about proper use of language when I read your posts, Marte.  Thank you!

Nov 29, 2017 06:46 PM
Marte Cliff

You're welcome Myrl Jeffcoat - thanks for reading what I write!

Dec 01, 2017 10:00 AM
MichelleCherie Carr Crowe .Just Call. 408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

Too often we look for typos - but forget to make sure what we wrote makes good sense.

Nov 30, 2017 11:38 PM
Marte Cliff

Michelle Carr-Crowe-Top 1% Diamond Certified Real Estate Team Sells Cupertino San Jose Homes-Just Call 408-252-8900 - knowing what you mean and saying what you mean are often two different things. It's easy for a sentence to get garbled, especially when the modifying phrase comes first.

Dec 01, 2017 10:01 AM
Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers
Serving the Greater Phoenix and Scottsdale Metropolitan Area - Scottsdale, AZ
Haven Express @ Keller Williams Arizona Realty

Marte Cliff "Proofread, proofread, and proofread again. Check for typos, mis-used words, and misspellings, and make sure what you wrote makes good sense."

Right on target - and - re-blog!

Dec 05, 2017 03:53 AM
Marte Cliff

Thank you Tony and Suzanne Marriott, Associate Brokers - your support is, as always, greatly appreciated.

Dec 05, 2017 10:14 AM