Today I will travel a short 60 miles back to my hometown to say goodbye to a high school classmate who fought cancer for 9 years.
Our class of '71 was a group of 90 small town and farm kids who mostly all thought they were going to be superstars someday. We now have lost 8 (I was reminded that it is now 9) that we know of and a few are off the map somewhere.
As I get older, I remind my younger wife and kids and friends that what we perceived in high school may not...does not exist most of the time.
Kay was a perfect example. Her Mom's family was very successful...their family was a tight knit family and owned the grocery store, the meat locker plant, farm ground, and one was a very popular Mayor.
My wife's Grandpa worked many years for Kay's Dad as a hired hand on the farm and actually lived on one of the farms owned by Kay's family.
Kay was very intelligent and quiet and very attractive. I wish I would known her better in high school. I did not. I did not consider myself anywhere near in her league.
As most of us do...we grow up and move on and classmates become forgotten memories.
Kay went off to college...got married...moved half a continent away and I did not see her for many decades.
By chance, I sat with Kay and her husband, Dan, at our 45th reunion last year. A few hours later, I realized that I had missed out on a lot of friendship opportunities.
We had a great time laughing and sharing and spending time together.
The woman I had perceived to be way above me had the same issues and concerns and successes and failures in her life that I had in mine. We were just people.
We realized that we were not...nor were we ever...really that much different.
They say people can change...and I think my wife would agree that I had a totally different perspective on life after that reunion.
I will tell Kay's husband today that our few hours together changed my life forever.
And then I know I will swing by my families plot...and say Hi to my folks and little brother...because that is what I do every time I attend more and more wakes and funerals in my hometown.
As I write this I think of another person who I am now great friends with who I have known for over 50 years but just got to know really well this past two years. I told my wife that I wish I would have gotten to know Dale in high school and in my younger adult years. I have hunted on Dale's property the past two years and have had a great time. We have done some successful real estate deals together as well.
I realize that I have gotten it wrong all of these years... I used to think that Perception is Reality.
In all honesty....Perception is the Deception of Reality.
Until next time...keep an open mind..
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