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I SEE DEAD PEOPLE

It was a normal November midweek afternoon. My client and I were out looking at homes for sale in wrecked house Phoenix, AZ.

Being somewhat discouraged by the short sale and bank owned homes we had seen so far, we were looking forward to the next house.

The information in the MLS stated the price was low because the owners had moved to their new home and were ready to "get on with their lives".

We're thinking cool! No science experiments in the frig, no campfires in the middle of the living room carpet, the house will be clean and empty, the pool...

Pretty flowers

We arrive and find they've decided to "get on with their lives", minus some of their belongings. Lots of boxes of stuff, a vacuum, an aquarium, other odd and assorted items. Looking at the boxes and things left behind, there's evidence of teenage boys in the home.

We wander around checking out the inside and then head out to the back yard, passing a life size cardboard Indiana Jones. Oops, excuse us, we didn't know anyone was home.

Disappointed when we find the pool is full of murky green water, we check out the side yard and find more ‘left behind' stuff.

Passing by the pool on a piece of cool deck about two feet wide, my client disappears around the other side of the house.

I stay where I am, sure the slimy green stuff might suck itself up into a giant creature and pull me right in.

I waited a bit, but she didn't come back. I decided it was time to go in after her. I edged past the green expanse and made it around the corner.

There she was, bent over with her arms across her stomach, like she was sick. "Are you sick?" She shakes her head, but no sound. "What's wrong? Are you OK?" Yes, she nods, still bent over shaking like crazy. "Are you crying?" Another no. Still no sound, just hunched over and shaking.

I'm about to panic thinking something terrible is happening. "Are you sure you're OK?" More nodding.

I decide to ask, "Are you laughing?" Yes. She's hysterical! I look around, nothing even remotely humorous in sight. "What, where?"

She points to a door. Looks like a storage room. "Open it," she's barely able to speak.

That pool water is moving, I'm sure of it. "No, way!"

By now she's laughing so hard she is crying, she keeps telling me to open the door.

I don't know why, maybe it was the thick green sludge a few feet away, but I just can't bring myself to open that door. I want to finish looking at the house, mostly I want a wall or at least more distance between me and the creature from the black lagoon.

Telling me she was joking to herself, thinking ‘what if there's a dead body behind the door?' She steps over, opens the door to reveal

House Hunting in Phoenix, AZ

Top photos courtesy of iCLIPART, bottom photo courtesy of my client.

Posted by Phoenix Arizona Real Estate ~ Doreen McPherson on 05/22/2008 01:27 PM

Comments (118)

phoenix arizona real estate, real estate humor

Post is included in group: Realtors®
Post is included in group: Arizona Real Estate
Post is included in group: Funniest Real Estate Stories
Post is included in group: Arizona Homes
Post is included in group: 'JACKED!!!!!

118 Comments on I SEE DEAD PEOPLE

MAY

2008

It is always fun walking into houses. I had one where the spread over the bed started to move !!! Now I knew the owners cat liked to hide under the covers but the buyer jumped for olympic gold

NICE!!!! If there is one thing I love, its people that find humor in the oddest places...Thanks for sharing!`

What a great business. We are surprised everyday! The things we have seen!

I also love when the teenage boys are asleep at 2:00 PM and you only find out when the lump on the bed lifts it's head!

Doreen...

I see dead people when I remove my tin foil hat. The hat keeps these things in check :)

P.S. Sorry. I'm in a silly mood this morning :)

TLW...ROAR!

Charlie, That's funny. I'm still so new at this, I'm sure I have lots to 'see' down the road.

Clint, We had a really good laugh over that one. I sometimes find humor in places others just can't see it. But I'm a little off. LOL

Stephanie, Yes, surprises! Thanks for commenting.

Susan, I suppose if I see a bed with the covers bunched up, it may be a good idea to throw something at it to make sure it's not alive.

TLW! OK, I am missing something with the tin foil hat. I saw a comment about it on another post, but I think I missed it's origination. ??? Thank you for commenting.

Doreen,

You never know what you will find behind door #1 in some houses. LOL Just be careful you don't run into any ghosts, especially the bad ones. LOL

Thanks for sharing. I loved reading your post. The things that we see!!! We have a Halloween decoration that is a tall man that we post at our front door. We just put him in the garage that night so that he doesn't go missing. Well, we forgot about him, but he sure scared our neighbors. They alwyas thought someone was in our garage- a few even were yelling across the street trying to get his attention.

Thank you so much! I needed that this morning.

Brigita, I hope I only have to meet up with Casper! Thanks for stopping by.

Rob, Those thing always get me. I see them and realize they are fake AFTER my heart skips a couple beats. LOL.

Melody, You are welcome, glad to help start your day. Hope you have a great one.

That was funny.

LOL...

It was a joke that started on Twitter. Something about tin foil hats keeping the voices out of our heads :)

TLW...ROAR!

OMG! That is way too close for comfort! I really hate going into hand grenade specials like that and then a shocker on top of that. Thank God it wasn't real but did you check under the floor boards?

Thanks Shaun, glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting.

TLW, Keep the voices out or keep them in? LOL. I may need to try that. The tin foil hat, that is.

Sara, I'll leave that to the home inspector! Thanks for visiting.

Okay...

I had to come back and Laugh. That was hilarious. Personally I'm trying to keep them in. They keep me company on the days when Blog Boy is blogging working :)

TLW...ROAR!

That was too funny!

One of the best parts of our jobs is the little oddities that we confront everyday. Good thing your client has a sense of humor and I would have been tempted at that point to stage the skeleton and set up a hidden camera to catch the reaction of the next buyers through the house :-)

LOL...

Good to see it featured :)

Has anyone else had a listing and wondered what that smell is? :)

Oooo...That smell...Can't you smell that smell...La La La :)

Sorry Doreen. I guess the silliness has yet to subside :)

Uh...Oh...Public post...Ooops...Feel free to delete me :)

TLW...ROAR!

How can you not read a post with this title!?! I love these "adventure" posts....

You know, just when you think you have seen it all.........

Susan, The jumping head at 2:00PM always freaks me out.

Ghoulishly written, Doreen. Your headline grabbed me and I just couldn't shake the heebeegeebee's for the rest of the story. Isn't that green sludge from the Jack LaLanne juicer?

That's pretty orgional

You just never know what will be behind a door. I guess many of them could tell us a sad story, couldn't they ?

Doreen...

Whoo-hoo, you're lucky she didn't have a heart attack ... goodness gracious!

Doreen, your title got me interested. Very funny, you had me going there for a minute.

The only thing that is better, is when you show a home like this and hte listing agent calls and asks for feedback.

OMG, This silly post is featured?? Thank you for that.

TLW, As long as the voices don't get louder than the music you're OK, I think. ;^D LOL

Thanks for reading and commenting Sheila.

Cindy, Yes, she thought it was way funnier than I did, that pool was really making me nervous. I thought they were bad when they had a little puddle of green gunk on the bottom. This one was filled up and just awful. That would have been funny to see peoples reactions on a camera, when they thought was looking.

TLW, Your silliness is always welcomed! The pool had it beat! haha

Hi Greg, Well, the title did it's job, didn't it? :) Thanks for visiting.

Earleene, I suspect I am due for more excitement in the future. Thanks for commenting.

Too cute, it's great to have clients that can find the humor in the process:)

Andrew, Thank you, I think. :) As for drinking sludge of any color, (I tend to avoid green sludge) I only do that if I can watch what goes in the juicer. Thank you for commenting.

Thanks Steven, and thanks for commenting.

Bill, I have to say, I'm glad he wasn't talking. hahaha

Richard, Her reaction was really funny (now) I on the other hand would have lost a couple of years of life.

Petra, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for visiting.

Hi Jim, No call. I am thinking the LA didn't even know what a mess the house was. They didn't ask for feedback.

Nichole and Monique, Yes, after spending so much quality time together, we are now good friends! She is a sweetheart.

This blog kept me in suspense, and I really thought there was going to be a dead clown or something in the room when you opened the door.

haha.... that was good Doreen... I was wondering what she found in that shed. Too funny!

You didn't say - did your client make an offer? Did the body convey? Thanks for the laugh!

A dead clown!!??? I'm glad I suceeded at keeping you in suspenders! LOL Thanks for commenting Mike.

Jesse, I wonder if it was the teenager all the stuff belonged to? OH NO!!

Alyce, As I recall, she started out liking the house. As we progressed with our tour and made it to the pool... I think that may have been the deciding factor. In fact, that may have been when she decided she no longer wanted a pool at all. She has some boys who would have loved the body to convey! LOL

I had to see where you were going with this. I was sure there was something in the pool. Thanks for sharing.

Pam, There WAS something in the pool, I'm sure of it! I'm just lucky it didn't get us. LOL!

There's just no telling what you're going to find. A client and I went to a house that was listed as vacant. As we walked in, we saw a trail of clothing and lots of other stuff. Though I had knocked and received no response, we stepped out and called the agent, who assured me the home was vacant. So back in we went, trying to ignore the stuff every where and the very old food on the counters. We went upstairs and in the last bedroom, we saw an adult male on a bed, I stepped back, onto my client, startled. She saw what I did, let out a small squeak and ran downstairs out the door, with me shortly behind her.

We got outside, and she asked me if he was dead. I didn't know. I did call the listing agent who informed me that sometimes the owner's son stayed over. That might have been nice to know the first or second time I called him : )

Hahaha Christine, That exact same thing happen when I was at another agency, except the listing agent didn't know the son could show up at any time. Yikes!

Love the story .. got me to smile big after a long days work .. Thanks and be carefull out there.

Doreen. I'm surprised she didn't scream first... then roll over laughing.... Thanks for sharing a great post.

Thanks Eric, I will. Glad you got a smile out of it. Get some rest!

Valerie, If she did, I didn't hear it. She was hysterical, but not making a sound. I really was worried. Thanks for commenting.

I was expecting you to say there really was a dead body there! Glad there was not one!

It is amazing to see what people leave behind. Even worse to realize when we die that is what we leave behind in possessions.

Mary, I'm not sure what I would do if I ran into a dead body. I hope I never have to find out!

Russ, Yes, I am a packrat and my family has let me know they plan to throw it all away. hahaha. Good thing I'll be dead or I might have to kill someone!

Hi Doreen,

Great post, as most of these homes are trying to sell and yes they are left with them being in dissaray to say the least. I think the buyer needs to have the creative imagination right now as like before and after photos. Its like watching on Sundays for the Home Make over for some of these homes. It's almost like you need a trunk of goodies in the back of your car, granite chip, paint chips, carpet pieces, and a big blue tarp to lay over the green pool.

Hey good post, I wanted to let you know that we do have a fix for a house like this, as if you come to my FHA class June 4, Wed 1 to 4 in South Scottsdale I'll be teaching 3 accredited hours and learn 203K rehab in which the buyers can finance some repairs, call me if your interested or email me. I would love to have you come.

That is hilarious! I am really glad to know it was only fake!!!

This could almost be a tear jerker. Thanks for brightening my day.

Your client has a sense of humor. She must be great to work with. Thanks for the laugh.

Very well said Doreen. You had me crying again. Step-dad wanted me to buy the house, just for the story :) Luv ya and the house you found me without the dead body!

This is a GREAT blog post and visuals... Thanks so much for sharing this great story and for telling it so well!

MAY

2008

LOL!!! I don't think I'd be laughing though. I'd be screaming.

LOL - Good post. I needed a laught this morning. Thanks

Hi Chris, This client is one who is able to see past the mess. She considered and made offers on houses I didn't want to walk thru the door... Thanks for visiting.

Emily, I may have opted for the black lagoon had it started dancing. LOL!

Pam, Glad to brighten your day! Have a great one.

Wayne, Yes, she has a very good sense of humor and was a delight to work with!

My sweet dear Kim, from train wrecks to dead people, what an adventure! I'm glad you are now home! See you in a week!

Steve, Thank you for the complement and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for visiting.

Ardell, Why do you think I refused to open the door. I would have screamed before I laughed.

I'm happy to help you out Michael. Hope the rest of your day is great!

Oh Yicks...glad I read this in the morning....don't you wonder where some agents get the nerve to write their property descriptions ? This falls in the "more guts than brains" category !

Isn't it amazing what people actually leave behind - What's more amazing is how the realtor "presents" online - Why not just come and say what it is - Call a spade - a spade... Expectations would be set, buyers going in wouldn't be so deflated --- I don't know what realtors think when they try to present something that it is not...

I just was showing a property last week, me the agent/owner out in front - the property had tenants but he said no one was home. But in fact there was . . . and he was startled and so was I.

Love the post "Did the body convey" .....made me smile!!!

Doreen,

This is an apt followup to your last post, The Funeral! See you next week at AZ Bloggers!

Mike in Tucson

Great Great blog, I loved it , Was Funny (lol)

lol...Thanks for the laugh!

TLW is right....tin foil hats keep the weirdos, dead people, and EVERYONE away! I saw a group of women come out of their timeshare with different shaped tin foil hats. They were all laughing and I just casually walked away. I didn't want to disturb them....LOL.

Loved the post. Our profession is full of new surprises everyday.

Hey, Thats my seller and he's waiting for an offer. Got one? He will pay costs, no bones about it.

MAY

2008

Thank you for your comments everyone.

I need to check out the tin foil hats Christy, I may need one in the future. LOL.

Cameron, the question is do the bones convey? hahahaha

You see people just don't see the need for home staging, ha, ha..this house needed an exorcism. HOW FUNNY, I would have laughed like heck after I ran for the car.

Phyllis Pafumi

Doreen, very clever story. Hopefully the buyers would be able to get a good deal for this home? And no need to worry about the necessity of "not talking about a person dying in the home." ;-)

Phyllis, It was staged. For Halloween! haha

Teri, I don't know about you, but that pool did me in. I'm thinking it would be much easier to deal with an empty pool with a few gallons of gross water than one with 30,000 gallons. This pool was beyond being shocked. Where would they be able to drain it and be legal? The good news is, that body wasn't inside! hahahaha

I did have a great day! Thanks for the great start. I often joke with my buyers about finding a dead body in a closet when homes don't have utilities on. Perhaps I should re-think that. The only thing we found thus far was a family of possums in the shed.

Cameron killed on that one!

Melody, What is the saying ~ What the mind can conceive... be careful what you think! haha

MAY

2008

thats funny

MAY

2008

You left out this part, "so we made an offer and we're closing this week!" :-)

MAY

2008

Thanks for visiting Tammy.

Chuck, She actually bought another house and closed at the beginning of the month. That's her comment up there...

Next time wear your galoshes, Doreen, and take some tanna leaves and wolfbane. :-)

David, This pool was filled to the top. I would have needed a scuba suit! ;) No wait, that wouldn't work, it was too thick in there.

Doreen,

I stopped by to say I missed you at the AZ Bloggers Network today; we had a blast with the newbie class. I haven't been on AR for a week, but I'm back. All the best,

Mike in Tucson

MAY

2008

Hi Mike, I was there! The groups had already broken up and you and your crowd were totally engrossed in your session when I looked in. I went to Shailesh's class to hear about wordpress. I'm sorry I missed seeing who was in your class, I think several people I invited were there.

MAY

2008

LOL! Doreen, that would have freaked me out, especially if the closet was dark. You never know what you're going to come across, do you?

JUN

2008

Hey there-- I missed this and glad I found it. Great story and idea! I know not to look in dark places anymore! LOL... congrats on a feature too...she is blogging ..yesssssssssssssss!

Debbie, I was freaked out before I saw it!

Candace, Thanks. She had her house warming party today. No dead bodies (that we are aware of) in that house.

Yes. Homes with skeletons in the closet. Normally they're not quite this easy to spot.

JUN

2008

Yes, Chuck, I suspect the ones we can't see are much more likely to haunt us.

JUN

2008

Doreen,

I keep coming back to read something new. Time to post again, my friend! LOL Thanks for commenting on my blog.

Mike in Tucson

I know, I know. I'm thinking. How are those shins?

JUN

2008

It's not the shins. It's the front of the thighs! I'm 110% now. Was 95% last Friday, and could have hiked again on Saturday. Want to borrow my thinking cap?

JUN

2008

I actually took some photos with my new fangled camera and I am trying to decide if I should do a post. It would mostly be 'look at this, what do you think?' 'any advice on fixing them?'

Glad you're back to yourself.

I think a post about Mike's shins would be a welcome challenge. :-) I know I'd read it.

Squeak... squeak... squeak... What do they say about the squeaky wheel? I'm going to be dead before you post again, aren't I?

JUN

2008

It is better than having to put a listing on hold waiting for the police to move their chalk outline and police tape. I'll take Halloween supplies any day of the week, I'm glad you client has a sense of humor.

Todd, I'm glad she has a strong heart, too! LOL

So, Chuck, Why don't you take on the shins, I've got something else in mind.

Is there a mouse in the house?? You? Dead? Not after your most recent adventure. If that didn't kill you, waiting for my next post won't either. it's on its way... no really. working on getting it from the brain to the keys...

Do we have to get to 100 comments before each post?

What?

You heard me. :-)

tamarillo

Chuck, You're right, I heard you, but I did know what you meant. Now I do. It's here. right now...

JUN

2008

If that didn't kill you, waiting for my next post won't either... Send a letter when you've posted the article... LOL

I went hiking in the desert this evening. You won't believe it, but I took my camera!

Mike in Tucson

JUN

2008

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! i am having a whale of a day and that made me laugh out loud! Thanks! I needed that! ;)

JUN

2008

How much fun! I LOVE your blog. I am going to have to subscribe and come back when I have more time!!

JUN

2008

Hi Sara, Thank you for the compliment and the comment. :)

Rob & Rachel, Glad I could help make your day a little better!

JUN

2008

Thanks for sharing. It is amazing how much really happens in our day to day world that is worth a great big belly laugh.

Funny. Good to use humor to get through a depressing situation.

JUN

2008

That next post must be a doozie. :-)

JUN

2008

Leslie and Kevin, Yes, humor is needed now and everyday! Thanks for visiting.

Chuck, Lot going on here...

JUN

2008

Just makes me what to go buy that house! That is funny though!

Hi Ronald, The pool was the thing that got to me. It's one thing to see drained pools with a foot of green grossness down in the bottom, but a full green pool was, to me, well, just plain scary. It looked thick. yuk!

JUN

2008

I'm glad to see you've got a lot going on... that's a great thing.

JUL

2008

:-)

JUL

2008

I too am sad that you haven't posted in a while...especially when this post has 113 comments. Hit us with something good. Hope you are doing well.

JUL

2008

Hi Eric and Chuck, I'll be back, soon, I hope...

Thanks for stopping by.

JUL

2008

I would have S*** my britches! Ain't no doubt about it! Thanks for sharing!

JUL

2008

I love your post, great job and the skull figure (Scary)!

Robert

JUL

2008

Nannette, I'm sure I would have screamed at the very least, if I had opened that door first. All I could think about was the pool full of thick green water and being swallowed by it.

Robert, Thanks for visiting. Thanks to my client for capturing the live action!

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