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Tuesday Truths.......Feelings are natural....behaviors are a choice :)

I think this Post will be kind of short.....I am feeling pretty dumb right now, and also very hot...it is over 100 degrees here, and it's still Spring. I wasn't ready for this heat. Ok, so the heat is hot, and I am miserable, but that doesn't really have anything to do with my current feeling.

In the past few days I have had a mixed bag of emotions when it comes to doing my job. I handled a few things well, and others....well, I'm not sure yet. That's where my mood comes in....

Let's start with my week:

Blog- I was reading and reading, and making notes of what I liked and didn't like for an outside Blog. I was having it made for me, but then something happened.....I'm not sure what, but I think I tripped over my expectations. I thought I knew what I wanted, but actually I kept beating myself up, and getting frustrated. End result.....wait. Maybe it's not time, who knows.

Escrows- We have a couple of them, and once again......there are issues. One of the escrows I got an email on last night, and this really got me to feeling pretty dumb. It's the REO I wrote about. Well, the Bank sent out a 23 page addendum....all legaleeze.....and I read every word in it. I made notes......but a few things confused me.....yes the Buyer is giving up a lot of rights, and the Seller is protecting themselves.....but this is a form Addendum. With Blank Spots.....and the figures don't match. The other Agent is calling me asking about a 1% Discount Point that is on the original contract, yet not on the Addendum. They changed loans, and I am not sure what is right at this point.......I need to think, and call a Lender to see how this impacts my client. I feel dumb.

Business Cards- Oh God, why did anyone let me make any creative decisions this week? I had a decent looking card....but oh no, I changed it. I proofed it to what I thought looked fine. Well when I got them, the font was too little, and the thing I had the designer change didn't look as I thought it looked.....again I tripped over my own self. Now I have 1,000 new business cards that I'm not thrillled with. Will I use them? Absolutely.......and every time I give one out I will be reminded that I should have left them alone.

Contact Management- As much as I have tried...I don't get it. I have come to the conclusion that there are some things I would rather someone else do, and some I will fight tooth and nail to learn. But keeping a database isn't one of the things I chose to spend my time learning. So when my assistant askes something about do I want this or that.....again I feel dumb.

Oh....... it's 8 o'clock and Dancing with the Stars is on, I've got to go....forget about feeling dumb....watching this makes me feel great, and it's the finals :)

All things pass....and one thing is for sure We are not responsible for our feelings, only for our behaviors :)

By: Kathy McGraw ~ CELLing Realty

Posted by Kathy McGraw, Riverside County CA Real Estate on 05/19/2008 10:23 PM

Comments (23)

tuesday truths, inspiration, choices

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23 Comments on Tuesday Truths.......Feelings are natural....behaviors are a choice :)

MAY

2008

Kathy,

We may not be responsible for our feelings, but they are real! They are neither right nor wrong, but they are real...we ought to address them! I try to 'go with the flow' if I can...it's easier to row with the current...! Recycle Throw away those business cards...get new ones and ask for a 'proof' before making a final decision!!! Thanks, Fran

I feel like that most days lately....

The show was great tonight and Christie was fabulous! And it makes me happy too...I do a lot of grinning!

Fran- So true....I have taught kids for years how to deal with their feelings, and one of the things is to "own them"....they are indeed real. If we can accept our feelings, and work through them, then we can move on, and/or make good choices.

What!!!!! You want me to throw away 1000 business cards I just got? Oh, and I did have a proof....at least I think I did....not sure I saw the final one..LOL :)

Joan- The show is just ending right now....and I agree Christie was good. I enjoyed all the dances....and when she went and kissed Bruno I was really grinning :)

Kathy......I have had days and weeks like that and fee really poopy. The good news is tomorrow is another day with a new attitude. ;)

Hi Kathy,

Emotions dictate action, usually. I like what Fran said about going with the flow. Heck, throw away the paddles and ride the current. Sometimes easier said than done, I know, but you will feel better. You know what, looks like by the end of this post you found something that made you smile again (Dancing with the Stars), so I am sure you will be all good.

No need to feel stupid about any of what you wrote. People make mistakes, and as for the others, we are not meant to be expert in everything.

Something tells me just by you writing this post, you are an old pro at riding out the waves. Heck, by reading your blog, I know you are. But I am glad to have seen this post today, because you will reach others who may have a more difficult time handling the contrast than you. And it will help them.

Thanks Kathy.

MAY

2008

Thinking drives behavior... I have a bunch of thoughts right now....I'll behave myself :) Yeah, if I was at your house right now we'd both get up and try and do some dancing. (can you just see us?)

Talk to you tomorrow.

I will tell you those proof no matter how you look at them, never look like the end product and I've had a series of bad business cards!

Pam- So right....and sometimes we don't even need to wait till tomorrow....just find the things that calm us, entertain us, or bring happiness......and if all else fails I wash the dishes :)

Rebecca- How right you are...I am an eternal optimist. Fran did say it just right.....we can go with the flow on certain things...like my examples, but some things we might just have a whole bunch of bad thoughts, bad experiences etc.....What we do with the experience is what will shape our tomorrow. thanks for you words of wisdom.....and as long as everyone knows that all things will end....it helps.

Sally- Now if you can dance like the contestants on Dancing with the Stars, then I would truly be smiling :) Smiling.... I would be laughing.....but I draw the line at some of those moves....my hot tired self just couldn't be doing all that fast jive stuff that Christi was doing :) I know you have some things going on....it's so different when you have to help someone else deal with their emotions. But even then being aware of your own, will help you deal with theirs. My thoughts are with you both.

Todd- Yea I'm starting to think the same thing....but I will have to wait until I'm out of my diappointment mode before I make a decision now.

Kathy how open and vulnerable........wow.......sometimes I read blogs and think.......these people are so 'perfect' everything is so polished it doesn 't always ring quite 'real' you know? I love it! Feeling dumb......hmm....and admitting it! I loved it.......there are days when I feel so dumb and inadequate......and others when I feel like 'superwoman'.....except when I'm in 'feeling dumb' mode....I don't remember that there is a 'superwoman' underneath that overcoat of insecurities.

Watched 'dancing' with the stars too....that and 'ice skatng'...always gives me goosebumps.....I can in those few moments live vicariously through the dancers......and feel like a princess.......:-)

ps...throw out the cards........just think of it as a bad dress choice....sometimes we buy them and never wear them

When you are running low on gas...take a break and recharge the batteries!

Liz-You and I must have been reading some of the same blogs LOL :) A while back I statrted writing a Tuesday Post that was about something....never knew what it would be that was more honest and "vulnerable" than my regular Posts....marti in the Art of Marketing for you group called them the Tuesday Truth Series.....me I just called them writing out my thoughts :) Anyway, one of them talked about me losing my home, one about people stabbing you in the back.....etc. Certainly not the superwoman type of Posts......:)

Ice Skating.....I love watching ice skating, you get more of it up there then I do ....but when I was overseas I watched it faithfully. It's relaxing and so graceful :)

Neal-Agreed 100% thanks.

Kathy, I have had a week of feeling dumb. Spaced and discombobulated might be better words. I get so slammed sometimes I can't keep things straight, and that makes me crazy. I used to be able to keep it all in my head, but have run out of room, or maybe brain cells? LOL.

I don't like when I feel that way, and seems I do a lot, but I just roll with it and know I will get through it soon enough. Either that or I will just explode on the scene - that could be exciting too!

Now, for the dancing thing, I must be the only human that does not watch that show or the American Moron Idol shows? They are cute outfits, and lord knows they have talent, but I don't get like it.

Hang in there, we all feel the same way, especially when you are dealing with stuff ( REO addendum) that is out of the norm!

Awww Kathy.....I hate when I a get in one of those moods. Which lately, has been often. Thank God for Dancing with the Stars and American Idol! At least for a brief hour we can forget about our "stumbling" and appreciate someone else's successes. When the show is over it's back to reality! Onward and upward!!

P.S. Ditch the business cards and start over. Life's too short to have bad business cards! :)

Hey Kathy, sounds like you just need a little breather. Maybe a few days off to regroup. We all have days like this so don't feel lonely or dumb. :-)

That's a hard thing to learn, but very valuable- what you said about not being able to help the feelings, but we can help our actions. There are times when I've learned its best to not make any important decisions if I'm in certain moods. I just take things easy until it gets better. If I HAVE to do something important I try to reason it through and ignore the feelings, knowing that what they would tell me is NOT reliable.

Kathy, have you ever noticed that when we're having a crappy day..yelling at the kids, kicking the dog and all that gory stuff, and somebody we want to impress comes to the door or calls us on the phone we can change our behavior just like that??? It's so hard to learn that feelings can trick us! Have a wonderful week friend!

MAY

2008

I apologize for not getting back to this sooner...that contest we did wiped me out trying to get that and everything else done.......

Audrey- Nice to know that we're not all alone. Sometimes when feeling overwhelmed we do in fact think we are the only one.........I hate to admit this, but I don't really watch much TV, it is just background noise. I never watched Dancing With the Stars till 2 Seasons ago, and found myself rooting for one or the other of the contestents....and next thing I knew I was actually watching it. The other one, no I don't watch it. Hey your Softball games should be good stress reducers :)

Janice- As for moods....I don't ever stay in a bad one for very long...but I hate it when I don't know how to do something..... LOL :)

I think I will just dump them as you said.....dang I hate to just kiss that money good bye, but then again I hate how they look :)

Irina- Funny I saw your name and did a double take...hey I know that name I told myself....that's Ricardo's friend :) Anyway hi, I have heard great things about you. As for me needing time off....I don't think that will change how I feel when I can't do something I want to do. But normally I think you would be right. One good thing is I know my limits......

Leslie- Oh what you said is so wise.....when a "mood" strikes, or when someone is overly tired, it's not a good idea to make major decisions. But sometimes we have to, and I like how you said that....just ride with it, knowing you can't trust the feelings.

Linda- You have a great week too.......and lucky you if you can just change your behavior. I used to self time- out with a cigarette, but since I stopped smoking, that behavior doesn't work anymore. I really can work pretty good with all my different feelings....all except anger. That one I have to wait and resolve it before working with others....i

Kathy: first off, there is nothing dumb about you or your post. You had one of "those" days, PLUS the darn heat! Oh yeah...and there's always something going wrong with escrows. Now, no more beating up on yourself. (I think a cool down is coming).

Hi Kathy- You're right about the heat....and thankfully it is gone for now. It was very cool today, and that felt wonderful :) How is it up the mountain? Anyway, it felt nice to read your comment....thanks :)

MAY

2008

I came back to read your thoughful response....will call you tomorrow. News.

Sally- Ok....

MAY

2008

Kathy,

We all have feelings and go through ups and downs... It is the process of growing up spiritually and getting wiser in the same time.

Your post is an answer to my latest problems... But they all shall pass! Right?

Thank you for the kind email. Appreciate very much your support.

MAY

2008

Arina-I swear I answered this...I remember my words but they aren't here? Anyway, yes we all grow, and sometimes the things that are so hard for us now are the things that will make us stronger later....the character building experiences.

All things will pass....just do what is right, and don't dwell on the negatives or it will consume you :)

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