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My Secret Hobby -- The MLS

I love reading through MLS listings. Not only do I get a feel for the area inventory and pricing I get a pretty good laugh out of this practice. Here are some of this week's favorite MLS property descriptions.

•1. $2500 flooring allowance, $5000 landscaping allowance, seller will look at any reasonable offer - motivated. I never would have known this seller was motivated without the agent telling me this. I also have to wonder on a ¼ acre lot where is that $5000 going?

•2. Three bedroom/ really 2 - seller will add closet if buyer desires. I don't know about you but if it isn't a bedroom and the seller can make it a bedroom by simply adding a closet, which they are willing to do, then why not go ahead and add the closet? It certainly would clear up any doubt about whether they are selling a two or three bedroom home.

•3. Priced knowing buyer will have to replace flooring and paint interior. I want to run right out and see this one, it sounds breathtaking.

•4. Decorated with happy colors, neat window treatments. I'm sorry did your six year old write this? What are "happy colors"? Are the window treatments "neat" because they are ironed or did you mean they were "just so cool?"

•5. Could be something really special. This place must really need help as this was the extent of the description. (On the market 182 days and counting.)

•6. Act fast since priced very well. This one has been on the market over 200 days. I think somebody needs to check their price and maybe write something that actually describes the house.

•7. Appealing privacy fencing. The picture shows an 8 foot wooden privacy fence and it is not the board on board style. I rarely find privacy fencing appealing.

And now for my all-time favorite description. This makes me want to run out and preview this property because I absolutely have to see what is meant by...

Ceiling fans positioned for optimal air flow efficiency

I honestly thought there was only one optimal location for the ceiling fan. I guess I need to open my horizons, live and learn.

Have a Beautiful Day!

JoEllen E. Stranger-Thorsen

Interested in buying or selling a home in northeast Lake County Florida, including Eustis, Mount Dora, Howey-in-the-Hills, Tavares and Sorrento contact JoEllen E. Stranger-Thorsen, REALTOR® for all your real estate needs. Visit my website.

Posted by JoEllen Stranger-Thorsen, Lake County, FL on 05/20/2008 12:08 PM

Comments (46)

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46 Comments on My Secret Hobby -- The MLS

MAY

2008

Listings are interesting, funny and sometimes sad! I do like the happy colors!

#6 is my favorite- too many times, agents put the listing in the MLS and then it never changes! Hurry up - it's going to sell on day #183!!!

Sometimes I run across a desciption that will actually have me scatching my head. When you find out about the ceiling fans let us know, we may all need to redo our fans.

JoEllen - Great Post - My assistant brought one to my attention the other day. The headline: Gulf Front - This Lot Won't Last - We laughed until we literally fell on the floor. We had half the agents in our office wondering what we had been smoking. "Gulf Front - This Lot Won't Last" - OMG - I'm laughing now. Then there is the one that one of the agents in my office recently listed - Description "$4.9 Million - Priced to Sell" - Yeah, Right! When's the sheik coming to our small town? Sorry - this is too much for me, I'm in tears!

This is just too funny! Great post JoEllen!

Susan

Holy Cow! I have buyers who want to buy the house with the best ceiling fans!

MAY

2008

Great post and proof that real life is where all the good laughs are. Are you making fun of your competition?

Robert -- I would never make fun of my competition...I'm sure these agents didn't realize how these would come across to others.

Wayne -- We should all strive to have optimal air flow efficiency in our homes

Susan -- Thanks for stopping by!

Robin -- I'm putting money down on that lot before it sinks!

Pam -- I'll keep you posted on where our ceiling fans should be located.

Bo -- Yes, the agents who imput the listing and then never look back. I cringe when I print these out for my buyers as I know they won't make the cut.

Gary -- I love happy colors they are so pretty!

JoEllen, this is a great post. Thanks for going through your MLS to extract these gems. I like "happy colors" whatever that is. :)

I love the priced right, and could be attractive; that describes every house for sale and a few agents I know.

Steve -- I like Happy Colors myself. I blamed it on the six year old, but it could be remnants of an acid trip.

Alpine Lakes -- See the potential, overlook the crumbling facade.

JoEllen, those were great! You now drug addicts like happy colors.

Thanks for the laughs -- I always get a kick out of the listing pictures vs. the real thing.

JoEllen...

I like that ones that say: Lockbox Code 7555 in the PUBLIC comments. Talk about tight security!

Jo Ellen,

I think we all need to go back and read again our verbage in MLS. Especially these folks!

Diane -- And we thought we only had to worry about spellcheck!

Richard -- The lockbox codes, owner phone numbers, schedules -- saving the criminals from having to extend themselves.

Rob -- That was another thought -- Just Say NO!

Hey JoEllen, Those are all great. Thanks for sharing, Jim

So right. So right. I've seen so many contracts fall apart over home inspections matters that should have been done before the house went to market.

If no agent would take it, would the seller make the repairs, updates?? I believe many would.

I can recall telling many sellers that I would gladly accept their listings if they will agree to do this, this and this prior to the house going in the MLS. Sellers almost always cooperate and I almost sell their sold their homes.

Thank you for sharing. Those MLS remarks are always fun to read! Have a great day.

My new favorite is SHORT SALE APPROVED! muhahahaha Why isn't under contract or closing in a couple of days?

I enjoyed reading the comments and I will add one of my favorites that says " the house won't last long" and 6 mos later the saying has not changed...funny

JoEllen.. Number 4.. What a hoot. My first thought was "Are we on Sesame Street"? Don't you wonder why realtor write this way?

I pa-rouse the MLS as well and wonder about what some agents are thinking. Perhaps it's their assistants...perhaps I'd better go and check my remarks:)

The dreaded challenge of "thesaurus-izing" remarks in x-amount of characters. My favorite "beef" is when you have agonized over the remarks, came up with something brilliant, and the seller says, "I want to change..." Argh!

I do find comments fun. I just read one in the MLS this past week, "This house is marketed by a short-sale professional". I don't know about your rules, but we aren't suppose to do that.

Oh well!

Great post!

JoEllen

I love this topic. I posted earlier on another blog that was talking about the 3 second sale and how good pictures and flyers are important, etc.

As an apprasier, I love looking at the comments on MLS. If I ever see a realtor describe the home as needing TLC, I pretty much know it is trashed.

The other point I made in my reply to the Blog was just what you are intimating in your blog which is not only do you want to sell the property to a buyer (by these remarks it is no wonder they have not sold) but you as a realtor are really selling the OTHER realtors on your listing, as they are the ones who will be selling it to their buyers.

The other issue we see alot is that the MLS listings have incorrect information, wrong location, or school district or if it is a lake home, it is not listed under lakefront property, etc etc. I have even seen where the home expired the realtor relisted it, but did NOT change the listing to ACTIVE, so the people wonder why their home is sitting there not selling.

I totally agree with the comment on the Act Fast listing or Hurry Won't last long comments, every time I see one of those and check the days on market it is usually a few hundred days on the market. Too funny!

The comments I love the best are creative and really make the realtor and buyer want to see the home. We deal with lake homes alot, I like the ones I have seen where they say Fantastic Lake Lot and the home is thrown in for free. The photos are really what help sell and I am still surprised at the poor quality photos that I see out there.

Thanks for a good laugh!!

I love when they say..."at this price will sell fast" Then you look at the days on the market and it's been 6 months!

HILARIOUS. What a great read.

I just went to a Kim Dickey seminar where she spoke about not listing the features so much anymore (our market is flooded with 18 inch tile, corian countertops, and crown moulding) and focus more on the benefits to the buyer.
The key is to not think like a seller but think like a buyer - the buyer buys on benefits not features.

Great post...Whenever I need a laugh, I'll remember just to look at MLS :) I'm happy to know I'm not the only one wondering how agents determine what's worth "promoting" to Buyers...Let me know when you find out about those ceiling fans, as I could use some optimal air flow efficiency myself!!

Ha, ha!! Uh oh, I hope my ceiling fans are strategically positioned.

In the down market, we all do our best to come up with "colorful" marketing ideas. This was a fun blog, JoEllen! I hope I won't find my marketing remarks on your Top 10 list.

Lisa Quaschnick

Weichert, Realtors - Pacific Equity Properties

I came across one in our local MLS "decorated in Pottery Barn colors" What does that mean?

Ann Henry-Dean, Masiello Group,Amherst,NH

funny ... number 2...i have a seller that will not add a closet. i keep telling him it will ad value to the home and will also be more search favorable...they just wont do it... i offerd to pay 200 towards the closet. i cant convince them... (btw, thats not my mls listing)

Act fast since priced very well or priced to sell are the kiss of death as far as I'm concerned. I like skimming the MLS as well, love the pictures people take. There is an agent in my area who LOVES to take pictures of open overstuffed closets. Is she proving how much C*ap you can put into a closet? Or how about the pictures that have a Christmas tree in it or snow on the ground? Hello ~ it's May!

JoEllen, congratulations on getting a "featured post" out of this. Good job. :)

Why do we write such STUPID things? Maybe because we don't take the time to think things through?

Great post we, all need to laugh a little, Oh I need to go now and re-write my listing remakrs.

Have A Great Day

JoEllen, thanks for the LAUGH!!!

With so many agents forgetting to add photos to their listings these days, I simply rely on descriptive imagery like this! Lol. You need to make this a weekly or monthly article!

Jo Ellen: My favorite in my MLS is for a $309K list price that literally says, "Short sale approved at $312K". ????? What list it lower?

Jo Ellen: Great post! I love reading the goofy things that agents put in their MLS listings! Although I do purposely come up with very unique headlines to combat the same old boring listings. Here's an example of a past listing of mine on a manufactured home out a ways from civilization and it had a new $7,000 generator that could run the whole house including the a/c. The capture line was: You'll never be sweatin in the dark in this 3/2 remodeled home with a brand new generator............

Some of the lines you described could be interpreted as the following: the ceiling fan line=NO A/C!!! the "happy colors and neat window treatments"-you won't believe how many horrible bright colors this seller has used from the Home Depot "oops pile". Ask for 10- 5 gallon buckets of "Kilz paint" to cover all these happy colors and oh yeah-the seller is leaving you the window treatments for paint rags!! Thanks Mr Seller!!

My new PET PEAVE=Short sale listings with NO descriptions or only one line!!!! What a disservice to the client!! Why did they waste their time to list it when no one will look at it with that attention(lack of) to detail?? Didn't we kill off all the crappy(excuse my french) agents yet with this market?? :0{

Oh if we would just take a moment to read what we've written and frequently update and reread our revision. Why not have an associate/friend read our remarks for some perspective. But then we wouldn't have some good laughs now & then, would we!

Always looking for a good laugh! Thanks,

Roz

MAY

2008

There are always some entertaining moments. We ran across one with the info in public remarks that said there was no lock box, the side door was open, but not to tell anyone. Okkk, only a few thousand people now know that.

My Grandfather...God rest his soul used to read the phone book for "entertainment" and come across interesting names....A friend's daughter: May June July, etc.....but the MLS does sound like more fun...this could be a whole group.....MLS Spoofs !

We do have a tendency to look for small thing that will make a buyer look at the property but in doing so we actually discourage showing get it fixed up ready to show and avoid all the comments about what it can be .

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and commenting. My work is cut out for me today to reciprocate!

I've enjoyed hearing about hidden gems in other MLS systems (glad it isn't a local thing!) It is sometimes difficult to write descriptive and catchy information for MLS and as this post and comments show creativity can get interesting.

Wishing you all the best.

There are some very funny, sometimes strange and sometimes ridiculous comments and descriptions on the MLS listings. "The property won't last"; sounds absurd to me! Why would anybody want something that will not last!

Funny!

MAY

2008

Aventura -- Yes I am always wondering if these homes are going to go on vacation or just crumble to a pile of dust.

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JoEllen Stranger-Thorsen, Lake County, FL

Eustis, FL

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Catherine Hanson Real Estate, Inc.

Cell Phone: (321) 228-7676

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