I had just drifted off to sleep Wednesday night when I heard this weird whirling sound outside of my window. What in the world could that be? I jumped to my feet and pulled back the blinds, and there they were, two very translucent green characters with odd shaped guns.
I ducked back behind the blinds, but they saw me. Before I could jump back in bed and under the covers, they were seeping through the keyhole in the door. When I summoned the courage to pull my head out from under the covers - they were standing at the bottom of the bed starring at me.
For some reason, they didn't even disturb my wife. I began to think it was a dream. But, before I could check them out they lifted their odd looking guns and shot me. I was completely surrounded in the same translucent green aura they seemed to dwell in.
Were they here to take me back to space? Maybe they wanted to study an earthling. Maybe they were trying to see if earthlings are intelligent. Then it dawned on me and I said, "Take her. Take my wife. She's a whole lot smarter than I am!" I could hardly believe I said that out-loud, but there it was.
It didn't work. They shot me anyway and they were gone. I wasn't the recipient of a trans-universal exchange program. No, they just left me with the Martian Death Flu - worn out body, sinus pressure, spinning head and no energy. Twenty-four hours later I have risen from the bed, but I do sleep with one eye open now, and I keep a copy of my wife's diploma on my nightstand.