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Behavior VS Attitude - Which works faster and better?

By
Real Estate Agent with HomeSmart Real Estate AZ Broker BR030809000

 

After reading Mike Cooper's post The lifespan of a blog I thought, what the heck I'll go back and check my numbers since it's been awhile. I highly recommend you read Mike's post and take a look at your numbers too. Quite informative and enlightening activity to do today and into the future.

 

Honestly I wasn't shocked with my results.  The same post that continues to go on and on and on, had nothing to do with being a real estate professional and yet it has everything to do with being a real estate professional and every other business for that matter!  It was posted in June of 2009. Let's see if this new revived post receives a few more comments then it did back then (2). So far the 2009 post has 17,347 views and 301 short url clicks. Somebody out there appreciated the post! And maybe you will too! Let's hope the post continues to give some food for thought as well! And isn't that the point of blogging!

 

Behavior Affects Attitude; Attitude Affects Behavior

                       

One of Behavior VS Attitude - Which works faster and better?the fastest ways to change our external circumstances is to change the way we think about things! No matter how well trained we are at controlling our self-talk, sometimes we confuse two basic concepts: attitude and behavior.

 

 

Behavior is, quite simply, the way we act - the things we do and including tone of voice, facial expressions, hand gestures, eye contact, and word choices etc. Generally speaking, behavior follows attitude. We tend to behave the way we feel.

 

Sometimes, though, we find ourselves in a position when we have to alter our behavior to be different from our underlying attitude. I heard a contractor at a recent networking event describe a success he'd recently had. When working with a very challenging client, he learned to bite his tongue and let her be right, even when he would have preferred to argue with her. It was not easy but he's learned that letting the challenging client get the best of you usually doesn't bode well for the length of the client relationship. Granted, sometimes you definitely need to let some clients go elsewhere - but usually, as this contractor learned, a little discipline (behavior)helped change his attitude and made all the difference.

 

The lesson here is that we all have the ability to control our behaviors, independent of how we feel, because it's our conscious minds that determine how we act. The most amazing outcome of this awareness is that by controlling our behavior, we can control our attitudes - exactly the reverse of the way most people live.

 

We can choose how we want to feel by choosing the way we behave!

 

Catch-22

 

Our attitude affects our behavior. Likewise, our behavior affects our attitude. Like the graphic depicts, this means there are two ways to get to the same place. We can start on the inside, changing the programmed beliefs and thought patterns that determine our values, which in turn affect our attitudes, which therefore determine our behaviors. The thing about this process of change is that it can take a LONG LONG time. 

 

The quicker, more effective way is to change our behavior first. This is a much more active way of taking control of our life circumstances, and the marvelous thing is that our attitudes will change to reflect our new behavior.

 

Doubt it? Try this, right now. Push your chair back from your desk, stand up, and yell at the top of your lungs, I AM ENTHUSIASTIC!" Yes, your office-mates will think you're nuts, but maybe, just maybe you can teach them  and you )something new.

 

The fact is, you can't pretend to be enthusiastic if you don't have at least a little enthusiasm for what you're doing. If you stood up and whispered, " I am enthusiastic," so low that your potted plants could barely hear you, you probably didn't experience a noticeable change in attitude. But if you really took me seriously and shouted at the top of your lungs, " I  AM ENTHUSIASTIC!!" I can promise that you feel differently now than you did when you first started reading this post.

 

Behavior can follow attitude, but why do it the hard way? If you focus on taking control of your behavior so that your attitude follows, you'll begin to see shifts in every area of your personal and professional life.

 

 

Behavior VS Attitude - Which works faster and better? 

 

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Comments (23)

Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Great blog Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker - Now I have to go back and read Mike Cooper 's blog.  I have a very recent client who I had to bite my tongue more than one time...but we should be closing the following week on a luxury home. So controlling behavior is very important in our business.

Mar 21, 2018 05:34 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Hi Sherri - there are times when it's better to stay still and let the energy go. And there are times when speaking up is appropiate. You are a master of both!

Mar 22, 2018 09:44 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Hi Anna- this is very much what I learned in Grad School and behavioral psychology. Where it would seem that the first thing to do is change someone's attitude ultimately changing their behavior, it was believed that if we can change our behavior first, then often our attitude would change. 

                                                          

                               Congratulations, you've been featured in the Group Bananatude.

Mar 21, 2018 05:39 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Hi Kathy Streib well there you go,we have a similiar background. As you know shifting behavior is a lot easier and doesn't come with so much bagage or emotional attachment.  Get the momentum going and watch stuff take off......love it! Thanks for the Feature in my favorite group!

Mar 22, 2018 09:46 AM
Janice Zaltman
United Realty Group - Boca Raton, FL
Energy Efficient And Eco-Friendly Homes in Florida

That's exciting stats Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker and a reflection of what we face every day.  Each day, whatever shows up,  we can smile and deal with it with a great attitude. Thank you!

Mar 21, 2018 05:42 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Janice Hope Zaltman Realtor,LEED AP oddly the first time I discovered that this post ranked so high was about 5 years ago or so. At the time it was like - what?  It has nothing to do with real estate but at the same time, like I mentioned, everything to do with real estate!

Mar 22, 2018 09:48 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Anna, I have a feeling you'll get far more than 2 comments this time. In a past life, I practiced cognitive-behavioral therapy. It follows a very similar path as your blog. Thoughts may ultimately become actions. Because of that, how we think becomes more important than ever. Kathy Strieb and I have similar backgrounds. I'm not surprised at all to see her posting early. 

Mar 21, 2018 06:56 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Hi Mike , as did I in a past life so we've got something more in common with Kathy. Thanks again for your post - it spurred me into action and it was fun looking at stats and what gets read the most.

Mar 22, 2018 09:50 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Anna I have not seen Mike's Post but I am all about attitude, I conscientiously start my day with a positive attitude and continue work at it all day with that said my behavior is fun and positive and people enjoy talking with me even if we are discussing problems and looking to solve challenges...Endre

Mar 21, 2018 10:27 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Endre Barath, Jr. I somehow know that about you! You always approach situations with an open mind and great attitude. Plus when somebody wants something done right and quickly - you're the guy.

Mar 22, 2018 09:51 AM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Anna. That "attitude" thing is hard to change but often needs adjustment. Enjoy your day!

Mar 22, 2018 04:55 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Wayne Martin I've learned over the years to catch the 'off' moments and shift them around quickly. Changing behavior starts the momentum and let's let if fly high!

Mar 22, 2018 09:52 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker  I have not seen Mike Cooper  post either and will try to find it keeping a positive attitude is key to success

Mar 22, 2018 06:43 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Hi Hannah Williams you my dear are one of the most happy and cheeful ladies I know - and kind!

Mar 22, 2018 09:53 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker ,
You know you're preaching to the choir with me, right?     Attitude determines altitude but you can't maintain a positive attitude without changing behavior.  That fits into the description of "insanity". 

Body language is a big factor, too.

Mar 22, 2018 08:04 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Carol Williams I swear we are sisters with different mothers  Absolutely, behavior must shift in order to continue the forward momentum. My Mom always used to say to us kids - quit complaining - get out there are do something you enjoy and then she'd smile. Used to drive me nuts!   She was a master teacher of getting me to shift my behavior and teach me the results of that shift. 

Mar 22, 2018 09:57 AM
Carol Williams

Hey Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker ,  My Mother died when I was 7 so perhaps I've been channeling YOUR mother all these years.  LOL

Mar 22, 2018 10:21 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Anna I just took a look at my stats and I have 7 blogs with more than 20,000 views, only 3 of them were featured posts.  The one with the most view (31,009) was not a featured post and does not have any short URL's.

Mar 22, 2018 11:02 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

That's so interesting George Souto ! Happy Birthday Again

Mar 26, 2018 02:55 PM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good afternoon Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker - there is no question in my mind why this evergreen posting still gets hits.  In fact, I am book marking it now.

Mar 22, 2018 12:04 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Grant Schneider it's kind of a throw back to my previous life. I just wasn't expecting it to get much notice!

Mar 26, 2018 02:56 PM
Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543
Realty ONE Group Advocates 484-237-2055 - Downingtown, PA
Selling the Main Line & Chester County

Nice post, you can have an attitude, but behaviour speaks louder about your attitiude than attitude will about your behaviour.

Mar 22, 2018 01:04 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Changing behavior can be a huge game change Nick & Trudy Vandekar, 610-203-4543 !

Mar 26, 2018 02:57 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

OK, I screamed and I feel great!

I have to scream more often! Thank you!

Mar 22, 2018 01:25 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

LOL Sharon Tara 

Mar 26, 2018 02:57 PM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

No wonder that's your best trafficked post.  What a powerful message.  And an important one.  Our behaviors do prodcue better attitudes.

Mar 22, 2018 01:31 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Chris Ann Cleland and the post you wrote today exemplifies the idea!

Mar 26, 2018 02:58 PM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

I too had a really good yell. Hahaha. It's so true and love this post, Anna. I can see why its important message lives on and on and on. A good attitude and controlled behavior are a winning combination. D 

Mar 22, 2018 04:01 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Good for you Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD  I'm sure you needed that with all you've got going on.

Mar 26, 2018 03:01 PM
John Wiley
Fort Myers, FL
Lee County, FL, ECO Broker, GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA

Now you have broken the previous posting comments. Great.

What you point out is good.

What you project: enthusiasm is great.

Our thought do affect our actions.

Glad you shared.

Mar 23, 2018 12:08 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

John Wiley I did up the numbers and I'll check the stats again soon.

Mar 26, 2018 03:02 PM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Anna,

 I really liked this blog and you are correct when I started this business, I did not have a lot of patience but in this business you have to survive! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Mar 24, 2018 03:30 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert I think we all had to learn patience in our early days when we didn't know much yet!!

Mar 26, 2018 03:03 PM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

I often think one's behavior is affected by their attitude Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker. I need to check out his post. Have a good Monday

Mar 26, 2018 10:36 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten

Thanks Scott Godzyk hope you enjoy it.  Have a great week!

Mar 26, 2018 03:04 PM
MichelleCherie Carr Crowe .Just Call. 408-252-8900
Get Results Team...Just Call (408) 252-8900! . DRE #00901962 . Licensed to Sell since 1985 . Altas Realty - San Jose, CA
Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

Good attitude results in positive behavior-and vice versa, as you wrote Anna Banana Kruchten.

Mar 26, 2018 04:14 PM
Debbie Reynolds, C21 Platinum Properties
Platinum Properties- (931)771-9070 - Clarksville, TN
The Dedicated Clarksville TN Realtor-(931)320-6730

You display both and these are great traits to have. I know people love being around you.

Mar 26, 2018 07:58 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Oh, change the behavior and the attitude follows - ABSOLUTELY, Anna!

Thankfully, I came out of the womb with a Pollyanna attitude and it has served me well my entire life...and you, I believe, as well!

Have a great week...

Mar 26, 2018 10:28 PM