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If You want to be happy...

By
Industry Observer with Nature As Neighbors

 

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” 
― Aristotle

 

Lately, we've been reading a number of posts in Active Rain about happiness. It seems apropos. We all want it, we all want to maximize it, and hopefully, we all want to help others achieve it. However, there are moments in life when a seemingly difficult time, or challenge, can test us a bit. 


After all, it's quite easy to be joyful and productive when everything around us is coming up roses. It's during the difficult moments when rely on something more. Our faith, our self-certainty, our emotional skill-set, and hopefully, a supportive network. We've noticed too, in our case, the daily stuff often boils down to attitude. 


Currently, at our multi-gen home, there is a life in transition between here and there.  While there is beauty in passing, especially after a rich and full life, the process of dying is not always easy to watch or, nor we imagine, to endure. However, attitude and perspective keep things from becoming too dark, or too sad. 

This may seem irreverant, but we may joke, "Still here?" when we see dad in the morning. Not surprisingly, because he's always had a good sense of humor, he rewards us with a big grin. On good days  he is the goofball with us. Dying doesn't have to be a somber affair.

 

We know, as we get closer to the end, it will be more difficult to find moments to laugh. However, are confident our attitude and perspective will bring us strength and peace - and happiness. 

 

 As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well - used brings happy death.

~ Leonardo DaVinci ~ 

 

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. 

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ~

 

Now I see that if one doesn’t know how to die, one can hardly know how to live—because death is a part of life.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh  ~                                                               


Die happily and look forward to taking up a new and better form. Like the sun, only when you set in the west can you rise in the east.

~ Jelaluddin Rumi ~






Posted by


Debb Janes  Bernie Stea
Brokers/REALTORS®
Call or Text 360-608-4900

We help buyers and sellers in Camas, Washougal, Brush Prairie/Hockinson, Salmon Creek, Felida, and other Vancouver, Washington Areas. 


We bring our passion for nature and beautiful environments to Real Estate. Multigenerational and family estates, country land and homes, and small farmsteads are our speciality.


We agree with our clients, "The true luxury of rural living is having elbowroom for the soul.

 

Comments (17)

Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Debb,

Oh, so very true.  Both Ron and I understand what you are going through and we admire the way you are handling it all.  We are with you in spirit and in laughter.  A

Mar 30, 2018 10:14 AM
Debb Janes

I know you are - we are lucky people. D 

Mar 30, 2018 02:22 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks for sharing your experience. Your father is very lucky to have your constant loving care.

At my age, the ending times are on my mind.

Mar 30, 2018 10:29 AM
Debb Janes

Thanks so much Roy Kelley It can happen at anytime, and at any age for any of us.  D. 

Mar 30, 2018 12:23 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Hi Debb... I'm a believer in the concept of being able to die peacefully and happily. You and your Dad are fortunate to live together the way you do and I have no doubt this lifestyle will give him a peaceful and happy end. As with most things in life... it's the attitude you bring to it.

My mother lamented her mother's death for years and one day I told her to just stop it. My grandmother died at the age of 90 quietly having a cup of tea with friends. One minute she was here and the next minute she was gone. I told my mother we should all be so lucky to die with our boots on, with no pain or illness the way my grandmother did. And we know she didn't die alone or afraid.

Mar 30, 2018 11:31 AM
Debb Janes

That is a wonderful way to die, Nina Hollander - a cup of tea with friends. I hope to drop on a trail somewhere. D 

Mar 30, 2018 11:48 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD - I can see that smile of your dad's as he see you.  I only hope I will be in a similar situation around those I love in a home I love when that time comes.  I admire, respect and support everything you and your sister and family are doing. 

Mar 30, 2018 12:04 PM
Debb Janes

He really is a sweetie too, Sheri. So lucky to have him - for whatever time is left. 

Mar 30, 2018 12:28 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

Now I see that if one doesn’t know how to die, one can hardly know how to live—because death is a part of life. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh  ~

Great quote, Debb.        

Mar 30, 2018 12:22 PM
Debb Janes

thank you Myrl Jeffcoat - I'm giving mom positive quotes about death each day to help her cope with the loss that's coming. Hence, the fodder for the blog. D 

Mar 30, 2018 12:27 PM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

CONGRATULATIONS Debb, on having this blog FEATURED in the Old Farts Club group!    

Mar 30, 2018 12:23 PM
Debb Janes

Oh YIPPEE! Thank you Myrl. WE both greatly appreciate it. D 

Mar 30, 2018 12:27 PM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Debb,

        You have such a positive outlook, I am glad you still have good moments with your dad. Yes you can laugh we even had a few laughs at my mom's rosary service, that is part of life and death. I am keeping you guys in my prayers no matter how optimistic it is still hard!

Mar 30, 2018 02:23 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Debb and Bernie - a very thoughtful and thought-provoking post. I really like your choice of quotes. 

Mar 30, 2018 03:42 PM
Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS
Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA
South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

I agree with our friend Michael Jacobs. I choose  happy Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD 

Mar 30, 2018 10:13 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Debb & Bernie, I totally understand, it is wonderful that you have every moment... but it is hard to see or should I say hard to accept the inevitable... the trade offs are never easy...Endre

Mar 30, 2018 10:43 PM
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Cherish the time you have and know that you are doing the very best at making wonderful memories...we did and have been so glad that was our choice....and my Mom's as well.

Mar 31, 2018 04:23 AM
Gabe Sanders
Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales - Stuart, FL
Stuart Florida Real Estate

Good morning Debb and Bernie.  I applaud the way you and your dad are handling what could be a much more difficult time.

Mar 31, 2018 05:50 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Debb, my heart goes out to you and your family, especially your dad during this time! 

Mar 31, 2018 08:10 AM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

Thanks all, we feel very fortunate to have the ability to handle this right now. Last night, when I gave dad his night meds, he expressed how grateful he is to be home, but worries that it's a lot of work for us - I told him we all feel that the time we're spending with him is a gift - and not work at all.  He's amazingly lucid and so thoughtful at this point. It's almost hard to believe he is close to being on his way...

Mar 31, 2018 08:24 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Debb,
What a lovely post that brought tears to my eyes.  It reminded me so much of when I was taking care of and watching my husband in transition.  I just know how blessed I was to have him in my life.  I know you feel the same about your Dad.   Sending hugs to you and your family! 

Mar 31, 2018 08:29 AM
Debb Janes

Carol Williams I have such respect for anyone who helps take care of someone who is dying. It is a wonderful gift to both too.  Losing dad will be hard - but losing a husband, wow, that's big. Big hugs to you. 

Apr 01, 2018 06:55 AM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Debb, so glad to hear that your dad has his sense of humor and if we are right with God the passing of a loved one isn't a dreaded and somber affair! 

The minute we are born we begin to die, and  most people put it off for 70 or 80 years.   The second we die we begin to live forever and God loves us enough to give us the free will to accept his gift of eternal life or not. 

Thanks for bringing up a subject most of us don't care to deal with-until its too late!

Mar 31, 2018 12:40 PM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

Bruce Walter people are very uncomfortable to talk about dying. And yes, we are all in the process of dying. Once again, I can't tell you enough how  much your words of support and wisdom mean to me. Right now, dad's in a pretty stable condition - he's improved without all the weird meds he used to take. The hospice folks warn us not to get confused by it - still, it's good to see him feeling a bit better lately. 

Apr 01, 2018 06:58 AM