It's such a common question.  Most people give common answers.  "Fine." "Great!" "Good."

But are they really?  And does the person asking really want the real answer?  Or are they just asking the question as an alternate way of saying, "Hi!"

I've played with this a bit over the years.  Sometimes answering in a way just to test the questioner to see if they really want to know the answer.  How do I test?  Simply by answering the question with a question: "Do you really want to know?"

The funny thing is, when I respond with that question, the most common answer is, "If it's that bad, then no.  I don't want to know."

But I haven't said I'm doing good or bad!  And usually, when I respond with that question, I'm really doing well.  So well, in fact, that I'm having fun with my response to the common question.  And it really is fun to watch people who get awakened from the hum-drum of asking mindless questions.

A second response I've tried recently is aimed more at myself.  It's a reminder for me to always be grateful, to maintain the "attitude of gratitude" that others have suggested is good to keep.  I confess, I've stolen this response from Dave Ramsey.  But I really like it.  Whenever someone asks, "How are you doing?" the always-grateful answer is, "Better than I deserve."

But this answer has its detractors too.  Take my Mortgage Coach for example.  She's a wonderful person, gives really good advice to move my sales and marketing systems forward, and is a real encouragement.  But she has a different philosophy than me in some areas.  One of those differences showed up the first time I answered her with "Better than I deserve."

Her response, "No!  You deserve the best!  You are a wonderful person.  You have absolute integrity.  And you really care about people.  You deserve what you're getting if not more!"

We talked a bit about that, but I realized I wasn't going to change her perspective, and she wasn't going to change mine.  And it wasn't worth wasting a coaching call over a greeting.

Let me be clear, I DON'T have a "Woe is me!  I'm no better than a worm" attitude.  I don't have a poor self-esteem.  Rather, I have a healthy, balanced sense of my own self-worth.  I recognize that I have many gifts and talents that God has given me, and it's my responsibility to use and develop them.  However, I also recognize that I'm FAR from perfect.  I make mistakes.  Most of them are completely unintentional.  Sometimes they are the result of risks I've taken that haven't worked out.  And other times I just flat out do what I know to be the wrong thing, succumbing to temptation.

As a Christian, I believe that any time I fail to do exactly what God wants me to do, I have missed the mark He's set for me.  That's what He calls "sin."  And the appropriate punishment for sin, according to Him, is... death.  (Puts a whole other perspective on "Change or Die"!)  But He, in His mercy, has made the necessary arrangements such that I can avoid the punishment.  So, quite literally, as I'm aware of my own failure to follow God perfectly, I'm also aware of His mercy, and therefore can genuinely, and very gratefully say I'm always doing "better than I deserve!"  (I deserve to be dead, but look!  Here I am, alive and well!)

Even if you don't fit in with the 78% of American's who claim to be followers of Christ, you can still use this second response... if you've ever "gotten away with" something, you too can justifiably say you're doing "better than you deserve."

I'd recommend trying it for at least a few days.  See what kind of reactions you get.  You may just surprise a few people and end up in a good conversation with them.  (Might that help your business or transaction move forward in a positive direction?)  See if it changes your own perspective and attitude.  It's not likely to turn you negative, and if it does nothing or makes you more positive would you complain?  What have you got to lose?