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Excellence in Health, Heart, and Habit

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Pet PeevesHave you ever been tormented by your pet peeves? I don't have too many and am very tolerant of many even with my chosen pet peeves. I'm naturally one of those "get along" types. But looking at myself I figured out why I still have my pet peeves. It is not really about my opinions, but it is because I care so very much about the people in my life. They may disagree with my thoughts but I have my reasons. I see these often in family, those I consider close friends, and clients. I say why I think these areas are problems.

Smoking - I have known smokers all my life and respect their right to smoke. The ones I care about most it is all about "HEALTH." I don't want them to die before their time. It may be selfish, but I want them around in my life. I won't let them smoke in my vehicle because I know it offends other nonsmokers. I sure wish they could slowly stop. I know nicotine is a powerful drug. I'll just keep supporting them trying to get them to stop.

Unclean language - So many take this one for granted. I think it is nothing more than something picked up from childhood, where now it is almost laughed at with pride that it can't be stopped. We are infiltrated with it on the cable networks and the movies. Everyone thinks it is funny and normal. I contend it is not. It first off reflects badly on one's language skills and secondly is offensive to many people. It sets a bad example for children and the worst is it is a sign of a heart that is not at peace. I cannot turn this one around in people, they just have to figure out to stop one day doing this. You must be a genuine self with all people and not talk one way at bars and another way at respectful, dignified dinners. A clean mouth reflects a clean, inner spirit that is at peace with oneself and the most happy. I am always FOR the side of a MOST HAPPY "HEART."

Tardiness - probably the pet peeve that I handle the best. I have friends and colleagues that are consistently late to EVERYTHING. It's almost in fashion to do so. This is a "HABIT" that wreaks of disrespect. I had a sales manager one time encourage me to be ten minutes "early" to every appointment just out of sheer respect. I have never forgotten that. The ones with the smiles on their faces coming to an appointment are the ones that are late. Everyone else is grimacing!

I'll still keep loving my friends each day as they are. Some days I think they were sent to me to be a thorn in my side or a pain in my @ss. See, now you've got me going : )

I'm far from any saint out there, but I think if we examine how each day of our lives we can improve, we actually might be getting better each day of our lives. When we were a child we acted like a child. But when we grew up, despite whatever our parents did to influence us, we have to become whom we were truly meant to be. I hope for all of us that means excellence in health, heart, and habit.

Comments (35)

Kathy Passarette
Creative Home Expressions - Mount Sinai, NY
L.I. Staging/Decorating

Gary ~ I would have to say out of those you listed tardiness is a pet peeve I have. I am always on time; and usually early to where I have to be.  I agree that it is disrespectful - almost like people thinking "so, I get there when I get there".  Times are given for a reason, whether it's a party or an appointment. 

May 25, 2008 11:45 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Like Kathy above, the tardiness pet peeve gets me.  I will be on time...actually 5 minutes early is late!

May 26, 2008 12:14 AM
Teri Eckholm
Boardman Realty - White Bear Lake, MN
REALTOR Serving Mpls/St Paul North & East Metro

Gary--I think these are three qualities that many would agree with you on. Smoking can be controlled as I have had clients and friends who smoke but are so conscious of the fact that many people do not like it that I wasn't aware of their habit until months or years later. Swearing and tardiness can be controlled too...just a matter of caring about the other people in your midst.

May 26, 2008 01:20 AM
Becky Respess
Broker/Associate Century 21 Judge Fite Co - Cedar Hill, TX
ABR, CRB, CRS

Gary,

I agree with your pet peeves especially the tardiness. It drives me crazy for someone to tell me to a certain time for an event only to find they are late. Once is acceptable but not after that. Everything you named can be controlled. I dread to think what I do that might annoy someone. I am sure I have many flaws.

May 26, 2008 02:59 AM
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ

Gary,

Another great post! Seriously, doesn't it make you feel better to say a pain in my @ss than a thorn in my side!!! :^) Thanks,   Fran

May 26, 2008 04:16 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Teri: It is all about our choices and caring about others.

Becky: Oh we all have things that annoy others. It would be nice if we could fix ourselves, but it is a tough job.

Fran: You are right, it is more cathartic!

May 26, 2008 05:59 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Kathy: We see tardiness in the same way. Others just don't for whatever reason.

Gary: You have high standards, good for you.

May 26, 2008 06:15 AM
Lynda Eisenmann
Preferred Home Brokers - Brea, CA
Broker Associate ,CRS,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co

Hi Gary,

Well done,  and you've picked three "biggies" for me too.

It seems like we've all become accustomed to profanity pollution, it's everywhere.  I went to a r.e. blogging seminar last week-end in Phoenix and heard that from the speaker. It seemed to be accepted by most, but I can tell you personally, I was not impressed one bit.

As for being late, I read somewhere that those who are constantly late feel their time is more important to them that yours. Same thing when you said referring to disrespect.

May 26, 2008 09:22 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Lynda: Ill chosen words just don't seem to bother some people. I think they have become tone deaf to it. My wife pokes fun at me with my "virgin" ears like I am a six year old. I just developed clean speech as part of good character. I don't want to sound like a prude, by why don't others see that as a good thing? The tardiness pet peeve also seems to come from people tuning out the effect of a behavior. If you don't see what you're doing you'll never change. I'm glad you saw some of this with your Phoenix seminar. You probably cringed. Some do not see with the same eyes you do.

May 26, 2008 09:42 AM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Gary... are you talking about my language?  Lol! 

My biggest pet peeve is tardiness... I think it is extremely arrogant to assume that my time isn't as important as your time.  If I am not 5 minutes early, I am stressed, feeling late.

Another pet peeve is when a person doesn't smile back at me.  Now smiles are free.  And I am a smiler.  But occasionally, I'll smile at someone at they just look back at me.  Would it kill them to force a smile?  I know from experience that if I am down and someone smiles at me, when I smile back, I feel better.

May 27, 2008 11:58 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Susan: Now would I pick on you of all people about language? Let me just say some days you inspire me ; )

I don't understand why some can't grasp the rudeness of tardiness. But it doesn't bother some.

A new one I've gotten bent out of shape with are clients and friends at lunch in restaurants where they are always answering their cell phones in front of me. Then, they keep on yakking like I'm not even there!

Your warm and friendly smile should elicit a positive response back but some people I think are too beaten down. Give it your best shot and you'll connect with more than you don't. At least you're one of the ones smiling out there, not like many others with the dour expressions on their faces.

May 27, 2008 12:20 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Gary, I'm with you on cell phones when I am out to lunch.  On Tuesdays, if we have time, we go to Realtor's open houses as a group in the office.  One of us, talks on his cell phone in the car, usually the entire trip.  Someone will be telling a funny story and we all have to be quiet while he takes a call.  It drives me nuts.  I always look at my caller ID when my phone rings.  I always tell whomever I am with that I will only answer it if it is one of my kids.  Period.  If I am with friends and I am negotiating an agreement, I will excuse myself from the table, but lately.... well we won't go into lately!  I think it makes my clients feel like I care when I tell them that I will not interrupt them for any other reason than to make sure my sons are okay.

May 27, 2008 01:06 PM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Gary:  I agree with youf take on all of these, even though I  find myself guilty of the language. It is a very difficult one to turn around in today's society.  Luckily, my "bad" language and business rarely meet.

May 27, 2008 01:14 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Susan: You have a very good policy on cell phone usage in groups. I have even told close friends to put it on silent or vibrate for awhile. Life will still go on. It doesn't change them. I think they think they are too important. I agree by holding all but the urgent calls, people KNOW you care. I very much admire people who care.

Chris Ann: The language thing is something like a tidal wave over me. I know we adults are entitled to our salty talk. But it is such a genie out of the bottle thing where you have probably been places and it gets excessive for no reason other than habit. People have actually commented to me that they never hear me cuss. I know they all think I am weird!

May 27, 2008 02:11 PM
Carol Culkin
Diamond Partners Inc - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate

Gary - my pet peeves - people with attitudes (who peed in your coffee?) and those who are overly opinionated. Like I tell my son, I'm not interested in joining a debate team! 

Jun 06, 2008 08:23 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Carol: Pleasant you with pet peeves? Hard to believe. Overly opinionated people can easily get on anyone's nerves.

Jun 06, 2008 03:50 PM
Lynn Johnson
Coldwell Banker Home Connection - Owatonna, MN
Owatonna, MN Real Estate

Gary - I learn something new about you with each of your posts.  I share your dislike of smoking, but am a little more relaxed on the other two.  I do make a point of being on time, but am not 5 minutes early and I don't mind the occasional salty talk.  However, I agree that extensive profanity is a sign of language laziness and there are certain words that I just can't tolerate.

Jun 06, 2008 04:13 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Lynn: I think we all have our own set of tolerances with our pet peeves. We can't impose our own standards on others as we are all different and just human. I think I am highly tolerant of a lot of stuff people do around me, even smoking, and am far from perfect. I just keep trying to be the best I can be and leave it at that. With profanity, I'm not saying it is not part of our culture and language. I just think people thoughtlessly talk like that all the time without thinking. It is the lack of thinking and respect for others that bothers me. But everyone is not like me, so I just have to accept that. Words matter greatly to me. I think they are a reflection of what is inside.

Jun 06, 2008 04:45 PM
Arina Hanciulescu
RealtyPros - Las Vegas, NV
RealtyPros

Gary I use to smoke some years ago. But now I stopped. It is unbelievable what a difference. I can smell the smoke from distance, even outside. When someone steps in my car I already know if that person is a smoker... I am on the other side now.

As for the other pet peeves I keep them in short leash   -:)

Jun 06, 2008 05:42 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Arina: I am certainly not trying to make anyone feel guilty for habits, lest alone you. I'm glad you stopped smoking. Many still in my life that I love still haven't and it pains me because I know it is bad for their health. Beyond the habit I know nicotine is very addictive as a drug. Like you said as a non-smoker you can really smell the smoky after effects in houses and cars. Pet peeves are ok, you just have to be aware of what bugs you and we ourselves bug other people with our habits too. It just makes the world go around I guess.

Jun 06, 2008 06:23 PM