In life, people say things that at the time, seem to make sense. Over time, they become funnier and funnier. I have compiled a few one liners for you to enjoy and ease your mind of the weary day that you may have had. Think of it as a chance to escape reality. I hope that you enjoy them as much as I did.

"This is a strange country we live in. When it comes to electing a president, we get two choices. But when we have to select a Miss America, we get 50." -Jay Leno

"A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it." -Bob Hope

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished." -Zsa Zsa Gabor

"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." -Henny Youngman

"I have my standards. They may be low, but I have them." -Bette Midler

"If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?" -Vince Lombardi

Confucius say.. two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn.

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.