Did you know the number one thing that plagues people is self-doubt? When you don’t believe in yourself, your abilities and/or your future it can have terrible consequences to your self-esteem, your relationships and even your productivity and performance. How do you know you’re suffering from low self-esteem? The signs are simple and may appear as envy, arrogance, being too eager please or being hypercritical of others. Additionally, low self-esteem is often accompanied by insecurity, which is the ultimate dream killer. Insecurity forces us to listen to that nagging voice in our heads that thrives on fear.
When we believe in ourselves, we can believe in others as well. In order to succeed in business and in life, we have to understand that in just being ourselves we’re good enough to be great.
3 Questions to Assess Your Self-Esteem
- What do you believe about yourself?
Although it seems straightforward, this is probably the toughest questions to answer honestly. Our beliefs about ourselves are heavily influenced by our past experiences and feedback from others. If you’ve listened to my podcast or been to an event, you’ve likely heard me tell the story of a teacher who told me I wasn’t creative all because of my bad handwriting. I went through much of my life believing her until a client told me I was the most creative guy he’d met after I sold his home for nearly full price.
I learned a valuable lesson: don’t believe everything people tell you about yourself. If the comment resonates with you or if multiple people tell you same thing, it’s likely true. However, sometimes people project their own issues and fears onto you and fill your head with beliefs they actually have about themselves. By all means, seek feedback from others; however, take what they tell you with a large grain of salt.
We also form beliefs about ourselves from our past experiences. While it’s crucial to learn from our experiences, many of us allow them to influence what we believe about ourselves. For example, if you started a business and it failed, you may think you’re a failure. My mentor, Zig Ziglar once said, “Failure is an event, not a person.” Your business failed, you didn’t. Learn the lesson, but don’t let it impact what you believe about yourself.
- What do you believe about your abilities?
Your abilities include the talents, skills and proficiencies you have particular areas. Although you’re often born with them, your abilities improve with practice. According to basketball legend Larry Bird, “A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills and uses these skills to accomplish his goals.” Assess the abilities you were born with, whether it’s a talent for encouragement or negotiation, and then sharpen your skills through classes, seminars, podcasts, etc. Always find ways to improve your skills so you can rely on them to help you serve your clients.
- What do you believe about your future?
This is the trust or confidence you have in yourself about the future. Do you think you can achieve all of your goals and live the good life? Often, we look to the stories of others to gauge our own beliefs. Whether the tales are cautionary or inspirational, they help shape our stories. Affirmations such as “If they can do it, I can do it” encourage us to tackle challenges and succeed. We can also tap into our own personal stories of success. What have you done that you’re proud of? When you face similar challenges in the future, say “I did it before; I can do it again.” When you believe you can do achieve your goals or thrive in the face of challenges, you will.
Take some time to answer these questions and reflect on your answers. Even if you have high self-esteem, it helps to revisit these questions from time to time to make sure you’re on the right track. For more great tips to help you in your business and life, be sure to subscribe to The Brian Buffini Show and become a Buffini Show Insider.
It’s a good life!
Brian Buffini
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