The kind of people you spend time with matters a lot as you gain another year to your life. If you spend much of your time with friends or relatives that make you feel bad about how you are as a person and bring you down, that feeling will persist even when you are with a person that cheers you up. A toxic person can resent your progress when he or she feels that you are no longer in their life – other thinks that your ideas of change could threaten them or they are afraid of your improvement that could expose their shortcomings.
It is hard to stay away from toxic people, they sometimes appear like something else, and they are sometimes inextricably bound up with your work or family life. Eventually you will realize that the connection is not healthy or good because it makes you feel lousy, but somehow you are just there, stuck.
Here are simple ways on how you can eliminate toxic people in your life.
1. Do not expect them to change.
2. You have to establish and maintain boundaries – toxic people drain your resources by constantly pushing you to work harder just to please them making you compromise more and more.
3. Do not be pulled into crises – these people will often make it seem like they “need you” because they’re always in crisis. What you need to know is that there are crises of their own making.
4. Focus on the solution.
5. Own your difficulties and weakness.
6. Understand projection.
7. Know they may resist.
8. You have to choose your battles carefully.
9. Surround yourself with healthy relationships.
Removing toxic people from your life can be deeply painful, as you may have deeply cared for some of these people in spite of how difficult it is to have them in your life. To maintain your life resilience and cope with any sadness you are having, you have to stay close contact with those who make you feel safe, appreciated, happy and loved.
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