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I was embarrassed today...

There goes the neighborhood!!!

I was so embarrassed to hear that comment today while showing a house in an affluent neighborhood to some Hispanic clients of mine. I wasn't embarrassed for my clients, I was embarrassed for the people who made that racist remark in front of my clients. I was embarrassed that someone would have the nerve to say that comment, while looking sideways at us, and walk away with their smug looks on their faces. Did they think that because we were speaking Spanish that they wouldn't be understood?

I was proud today as well. I was proud of the way my client handled the situation. They just shrugged it off and went about their business, as if it didn't matter. Because it really didn't matter at all. You can't allow the racist remarks that issue forth from rich, ignorant mouths to dissuade you from realizing your dreams in life. I'm sure they won't. Yes, I was very proud of them.

I was also dumbfounded today. You see, that comment was made in the presence of a Realtor. Well, two if you include me. The part that dumbfounded me was that the other agent agreed and walked away laughing with them. I was boiling inside to think that a Realtor would be an active part of such a conversation. It's a good thing that I have had time to think about the situation since then.

You see, I could very possibly have made a big mistake by reacting to that situation out of my anger over what I thought had happened. How often do we do that? We see everything through our own individual filters. My filter today caused me to see that conversation in a certain way that made those people out to be bigots. They very well may have been just that, but consider this...

The people are having a great time talking with their Realtor about the house they are considering buying. They are joking with one another about the possibility that they might buy the house and the husband mentions that he'll really enjoy having his buddies from the men's group he just joined over for a bar-b-que sometime. His wife says, a bit loudly, "There Goes the Neighborhood!!", which draws a good bit of laughter, even from the Realtor, as they walk away.

Yes, I was embarrassed today...for myself. I've got to get my filter cleaned. How about you?

Posted by Andrew Trevino Wilkes-Barre Homes For Sale on 06/03/2008 12:53 AM

Comments (22)

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Post is included in group: Christianity and Real Estate
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22 Comments on I was embarrassed today...

JUN

2008

Andrew -- I had to read this twice to make sure I read it correctly. I believe I understand your plight! At first I was shocked as such comments and now I see how it could have been misunderstood. We definitely both could have put our foot in our mouth and thank goodness you handled it the way you did. I am glad it wasn't the comment that suggested your clients were not worthy of the neighborhood. That would hurt my feelings if that is what they implied. I hope not still. We all need to make sure our filter system is in tact, I have to work on that constantly and at times I have not done a great job and have put myself in uncomfortable situations. Great awareness post.

Andrew, 18 years ago when my infant son was undergoing surgery at the University of Pennsylvania hospital, and my husband was at home with our two year old, I was on an elevator (wandering the halls/floors during the surgery) and a large woman wanted to get on after many floor stops. She said, "Is there room?" I answered, "Not after you." There was silence and then she said, "I know I am a big woman...." at which point I realized what I said could be taken two ways. I MEANT that she had the last spot. Her humor caused an uproar of laughter following my immediate apology that it was not what it sounded like. It could have been so much worse! (I was under stress...)

Andrew, I'm glad you took enough time to see that those remarks were not meant in an offensive way at all. In today's world, there are already too many people looking for things to take offense at - and heaven know there ARE many things that truly cause offense.

What a great eye opening post. I am sure we all "hear or assume" things wrong more than we think.

Control over the tongue. That shows true strength.

That is enough to make anyone mad. I hope it didn't discourage your buyers. Some people just have no manners.

I litterally wrote a similar story for my local paper that will get published Wednesday. I guess it caught my eye because it's been on my mind.

Andrew ~ Very good post about comments made and how people could take things the wrong way. How appropriate to these circumstances we find ourselves in today in the Rain!

Candace,

I had to think about it much more than twice before I got it to. I know I'm much more aware now as well. Thanks for your comment.

Susan,

Wow, that could have been a tough one to deal with. Sounds like it turned out well though.

Brian,

Absolutely. We should all take a bit more time to think these days. I know I will. Thanks for stopping by.

Karen,

Thanks for your comment. Keep those eyes open!!

Shaun,

The tongue is our strongest member, that's for sure. It takes strength to get it under control. Thanks for stopping by.

Laura,

Yes, some people don't see the whole picture at all. Thanks for dropping in.

Chris,

I hope your piece is received well. Some don't like to hear that we need to gain control over our thoughts and reactions. It's on my mind now, for sure.

Nick,

Yes. It's been a bit hyper-sensitive in the Rain lately. We all need to take a step back and see what's really going on these days. Thanks for your comment.

That reminds me of the time when my brother's girlfriend said I looked fat when I had just finished getting all dressed up to go out for the evening.

I just looked at her like a deer in the headlights.

Then she explained that she was saying I looked "PHAT".

Then explained what PHAT was. "Pretty Hot And Tempting" for those of you who don't know.

We had a good laugh over it.

It does go to show you that things aren't always what they seem on the surface.

This is an example of how to behave as a licensed real estate professional.....

As such...this is now a featured post in,"Christianity and real Estate".....

We need to be examples of Jesus everywhere.....

Great post - most of us have probably been in situations where we *thought* we heard something we really didn't hear. This is a good reminder to not always jump to the worst possible conclusion!

Cheri,

That was a PHAT comment, thanks!!

Al,

Thanks for the feature and thanks for stopping by.

Susan,

Yes, it was a great lesson for me. I tend to jump before I think. Thanks for your comment.

Andrew, Congrats on getting selected as a featured post. As a CPA, I used to investigate allegations of wrong doing. Your post reminded me about how important it is to get all of the details. I hope that the way the story ended, about wife's comment about partying was truly what happened. Sounds to real to be ablet o make up.

While your story had an interesting twist, it is sad that discrimination does still occur from time to time.

Grace and peace

Sondra,

Thanks for the congrats. I hope that was what truly happened as well. I choose to believe that it was, which makes all the difference to me. Without all the facts, it's the only outcome I can rightfully choose.

It is truly sad that discrimination does truly exist and is in full force against the Hispanic community these days.

Grace and peace to you as well.

JUN

2008

OOps i had to read it a couple times myself to catch the gist of the conversation. I may have to clean my ears as well.

Robert,

Or your eyes...LOL Thanks for the comment.

JUN

2008

Andrew

I am always careful(and probably not as humorous) as I know two sets of ears can interpret things differently. It sounds like we can all learn alot from this situation.

by the way, Do you have an outside blog that I can add to my Blogroll ?

Thanks and look forward to reading your thoughts on the world of real estate.

OCT

2008

Hi Andrew,

I think many people would have assumed the worst with that comment. I don't think I would have ever have come up with that alternative story. Great post.

Chastity

So far the only comments I have received from my buyers are that they don't want to live in a certain area where certain people live. It goes in one ear and out the other. I still send them homes that match their criteria regardless of the neighborhood. I tell them to drive the neighborhood and tell me which ones they want to view.

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