SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women know their manners: 'Yes, ma'am.' 'Yes, sir.' 'Why, no, Billy!'
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : 'Y'all come back!' 'Well, bless your heart.' 'Drop by when you can.' 'How's your Momma?'
Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The creeeeeeek
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'st n S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. _____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.' _____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' _____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.' _____
Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____
All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20. _____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____
A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody! (WHO DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF????) _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. _____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____
When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____
Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. _____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' ... and go your own way. _____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could. Have a wonderful day and laugh often!
If any of Y'All need to buy or sell a home down here in Katy, Houston or Sugar Land Texas, give us a call...we throw lots of Southern name calling in for free, Shugah, Honey, and Dalin's, which we referee to both male and females alike :). Liz Carter & Team Realty, 281-391-SOLD (7653) www.lizcarter.com
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