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An Agent's Unreasonable Demand - And What I Learned From It

It has been quite some time since I have been able to write a blog about my adventures in staging. Not because I have not had anything to write about, but because I have not had time to write at all. But summer is here, school is out and I finally have a day off, so I wanted to share this story with all of you because I learned so many valuable lessons from the situation.

A few months ago I was summoned to an investment property by a real estate agent whom I had never worked with before. She had gotten my name from another agent and was hoping that I could come to a listing appointment with her. You see, the seller asked for a stager she said and she wanted to show him that she could provide one.

Upon entering the house, the seller was visibly surprised that I was there. The agent introduced me as part of her team - huh? - and made it appear as though I worked with her exclusively. At this point I was confused. I got the sense that he was put off by it and I decided to politely shake his hand and then quietly follow them through the house, making my presence as unnoticeable as possible.

During the course of the tour, I heard the agent say things that made me want to run out the door. The look on the sellers face told me he didn't like what she had to say - or her for that matter. I was kicking myself for not insisting that we meet before our tour to make sure I wanted to work with her at all. But, it was too late for that, so I kept my mouth shut as most of what I had to say would contradict her and that would be extremely unprofessional on my part. I did, however, manage to have a few moments alone with the seller during which I showed him my portfolio and explained briefly the benefits of staging his property. He asked if I could send him a bid, though not that enthusiastically.

I left the property convinced that the seller was not going to hire that agent - or me for that matter. I prepared a bid with little hope to hear from the seller again and went on to the next project.

Over the next few weeks I received various phone calls and emails from the agent that were pretty unsettling. Mostly, she wanted to know if I had heard from the seller, but the most disturbing call was when she had informed me that she had been researching stagers on the internet (why?) and saw that most of the stagers in our area are mostly real estate agents (yep, its an issue) and wanted to make sure that I was not an agent myself. She wanted to make it clear that I was not to steal this listing out from under her. Again...HUH? I assured her I was not an agent and didn't want to be one. As a final comment, she informed me that if she didn't get the listing, I was not to agree to stage it. In shock over that statement, I dumbly agreed and hung up the phone.

A few quiet days went by and I unexpectedly heard from the seller. He informed me that he had not been looking for a stager, but after talking with me, he thought I could be the missing link in his business that he had been looking for. He was excited about my abilities and definitely wanted me to come out to the property again and talk with him some more. Unsure what to do, I agreed to talk. After all, he had never asked for me to be there in the first place (still confused) and I thought I owed him the courtesy of explaining myself.

After a second tour of the property, I decided to come clean with the seller and explain the situation and tell him what the REA had insisted upon. The seller was outraged. He told me that he had no intention of listing with her, especially after hearing her demands, and that she had no right to decide for him who he could work with and who he could not. He also pointed out that he decided to list with that agent, but hadn't liked me, she surely would have found another stager without hesitation - she had been researching other stagers, afterall. He ranted on for several minutes, adding a good scolding for me for agreeing, as it is my staging business and not hers - I should not have let her make that decision. I took the scolding, because he was right.

Since then, I have built a good working relationship with the seller. Not only did I stage the property, I also chose the paint colors and did some personal shopping for him. He is a great client - as we bonded over our controversy - and I look forward to working with him again despite his many quirks. I have also had a chance to scold him back for some decisions he made, so we are even. :)

Anyway, I took away from that experience a few valuable lessons:

1. It is your business - you decide who you work with.

2. Be honest with any referring agent that you are not a package deal. You can send them a small referral fee if it is an issue.

3. Never give an agent any power over your business - The power is all yours.

Images courtesy of MSN live search images

Posted by Kimberly Wester on 06/04/2008 08:12 PM

Comments (56)

business dilemnas, home staging, respect, teamwork, using a stager

Post is included in group: Realtors®
Post is included in group: Stage It Forward...
Post is included in group: Real World Home Staging for Newbies

56 Comments on An Agent's Unreasonable Demand - And What I Learned From It

JUN

2008

Hi Kim: Good to hear from you again! Alls well that ends well. The REA sounds like she has some control issues. As business people we should never give up control of our business to anyone. Thanks for the post.

Good morning Kimberly, very interesting story. Your conclusions, as painful as they were to come too, are absolutely right. It just isn't a good business decision to limit yourself and it certainly isn't a good thing to be in a position where you cannot help everyone that requests it. Besides that, I have to say it takes a lot of Gaul to behave in the manor that this agent did. I'm afraid if this would have happened to me I would have quickly abandoned any form of professionalism with this clown. I'm glad you went ahead and worked with your client. He deserves the benefit of your skill, the agent does not.

Kimberly, you handled yourself very well although I might have upset the apple cart in that situation.. So happy that you have a great client in the end... God bless,

Michelle - Thanks for the welcome back! You are right, a good business person should never give up control - it's frustrating how that one little statement caught me so off guard. Well, it will never happen again, that is for sure!

Gary - Your confidence in me is ...well...unmatched - and I appreciate it! Fortunately - or maybe not - I have not heard from this agent again. I have a feeling if she knew I staged the house anyway, that I would have. I guess I will wait for the other shoe to drop and prepare myself for it.

Cheryl - Thanks! Maybe now that you have read me story, you can prepare yourself for this very same situation, though it is rather bizarre you never know if it will happen to you! Then you can keep the apple cart end up! :)

Kimberly, what a strange situation! I could just imagine how uncomfortable you felt - I HATE that feeling! I am not sure what I would have done in this situation, but now I know to watch for it! I hope she never calls you again!

Elle - You and me both! Thanks for reading!

Welcome back, Kimberly, I've been wondering what happened to you. I can't beleive that she actually had the nerve first of all to give the impression that you work exclusively for her, but then to tell you that you can't stage for the home owner was way off ~ good for you for following your gut! "Don't give up the ship, Matie!"

Wow -- that's interesting! Don't you hate it when people create unnecessarily stressful situations? Glad you got to work with the seller and explain your side of the story. Good luck!

Great post Kim -- the whole time I was readingthis, I was applauding you for recognizing you were confused, and not always in controll, but constantly following (for a lack of better term) your gut! Okay, maybe HEART!

sometimes its a tough call, and you made the right choice!

PS -- Realtors have a code of ethics to follow, so my little mind had lots of red flags floating around!

Connie - I have been knee deep in 1st graders - they make it hard to get to the computer! Yeah, she was pretty gutsy to say the least. She waved away her words as 'little white lies'. I know the RE business is getting cutthroat, but attempting to cut mine was pretty uncalled for. I believe in karma, so I am letting it go. :)

Tori - Thanks! It was unnecessarily stressful as I hate dishonesty - I can never pull it off. The seller used to be a cop and said he can tell a liar from a mile away and he knew she was being dishonest about something, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. He also knew I was uneasy - and it helped me get the job, if you can believe it!

Karen - I was sideswiped, I tell ya!!! ;) I confided the story to an agent friend of mine, seeking advice, and she told me the same thing. I was feeling so guilty, I was going to call her and explain myself, but my friend felt the fault fell entirely with the other agent, so I decided to just let it go. I also kind of felt I would be opening a can of worms by contacting her again, no?

Hey Kimberly! Congrats on finishing your school year! Now with the summer off, you maybe will have more time to market your business! There definitely is confusion out there with so many REAs also declaring themselves as stagers. That was only a small issue with this REA. Just let this go and I am happy you ended up just fine! It may be only a matter of time before more agents try to take ownership of stagers on their team....boundaries will need to be strong! Sometimes being quiet is the classiest way to get through a meeting like your initial one was...and then following up with the homeowner yourself. You did great Kim! Regards-Kathleen G

Kimberly ~ Very weird! I would have been giving her the evil eye as soon as she introduced me as part of her team and thinking "what are you up to lady?". I agree, I would think you would have met ahead of time even just to see if you two clicked. I am glad everything worked out in the end and it sounds like you are well rid of that agent.

Kathleen - Yep, I made it through with my sanity in tact! Thanks for the vote of confidence. Go, Butter!! ;)

Kathy - I am pretty quick witted and years ago I wouldn't have spouted off immediately, but time has taught me that in times like that, the best reaction is no reaction. It was a hard lesson to learn, but it has served me well. I have a new policy to have a face to face meeting with all potential referring agents before I actually work with them. It should do me some good...

Hi there, Kim- amazing story! Not uncommon. I have had agents present me as their close personal best friend, and felt similarly odd. I don't tend to distance myself, but rather play along. I believe you are right; and I want to change my perspective in the future. I also want to charge for ALL estimates moving forward. <sigh> Some day!

Really good lessons to be learned! I'm glad you learned them with little side effects. My husband and I were actually just talking about this tonight while I was cooking dinner, but I make it a point to NEVER go on listing appointments with agents. (Now of course I do have a license, but don't represent sellers or buyers.)

Juliet - I've never had that happen before and she is the first one I met at a listing without sitting down with first. Shame on me, I guess, eh?

Melissa - It seems that a license is a death sentence for stagers in this area. I'm not sure why...Oh, the mysteries of the RE world ... will we ever figure them all out?

Wow, what a bizarre position she put you in! I think I would have done just as you did due to being blindsided like that.

She has quite the nerve: lying to the potential client, telling you who you can work for...unbelievable!

I'm so pleased you agreed to 'talk' with the client!

Dane!! So glad to hear from you - I've missed you!! How's the hammock? ;)

The more I read everyone's comments, the more appalled I am by the whole thing. I agree - UNBELIEVABLE!!

This agent was clearly out of bounds. A good stager can be a valuable part of a listing agent's team, but those parameters need to be agreed upon privately, not in front of a potential client. Glad to hear that the seller was able to appreciate your talent and decided to work with you.

John - So nice to hear that validation from an agent. Thanks for reading and adding that comment!

Kim, what a nightmare! Remember the consultant's motto: No exclusives!

Glad the situation worked out, seller sounds like a winner.

Best,

Audrey

Here's the thing, to stagers: as a real estate agent, (in a very slow time- sorry, Val) committing to one stager makes life much easier. It's much like having a good lender, or appraiser, or cooperating agent, all of whom are crap-shoots in the life of a Realtor. Referrals are problematic with lending, not possible with appraising, and an unknown with the agent representing the buyer.

SO, while I'm in 100% agreement with the atrocity of this agent's behavior, if you find a smart Realtor seeking a "partnership", and they're OK, it's a nice tool to have to sell (and stage) houses. You did absolutely the right thing in this case- the agent, unfortunately, will refuse to see the failure with her own "presentation"- and you can't control that- just your own competence. The seller clearly agrees.

I'm glad it worked out for you Kimberly. Some REA are very overbearing. This one sounds like a duzy.

Hi, Kimberly! I'm glad the situation worked out well for you. I don't know how I would have reacted to an REA that treated me that way. Kudos to you for your professionalism! Thank you for sharing this story - it prepares the rest of us for similar situations so we won't be caught off guard.

Hey Kimberly, I think you handled the situation very well. If the agent had all these demands they should have been straight with you in the first place because you may have chosen not to participate. Given the circumstances, you did an excellent choice.

Here's the hard thing. It's hard to admit we lost control of something like this. I really loved the way you were so forthright about what happened and HOW it happened. Things like this happen and perhaps if we owned up to them more often, we would be able to help each other more. There are times when we all get railroaded...most of us just won't admit it! But these are all lessons that we can use to help each other. Congrats on a well-deserved feature!

JUN

2008

This is a good post. Likely others have had similar things happen. Likely it might have been best to meet the agent in advance, but in this scenario, had you done that , you might have decided you did not want to work with the agent, and therefore never have met the really nice client who you ended up working with. So there was a bigger picture.

This was a great post and something that everyone can learn and take away from it. Thanks!

Kimberly,

That agent had no right what so ever to ask you not to stage the house if she didn't get the listing.

This is a good lesson for any stager who is asked to come to a listing appointment with an agent they don't know.

Kimberly, You handled yourself very well. I am glad to see the client chose to work with you. The agent sounds a little desperate or insecure or both. Looks like you now know how to handle this in the future. :)

Kimberly, It's often difficult to know how to react when you are blindsided as this agent did to you. I think that you did the right thing by not making a scene in front of the client and it sounds like it turned out for the best with some good lessons learned.

I've had some very good luck with stagers and think you provide a valuable service. Good luck.

Hi Kimberly - I cannot imagine ever doing to someone what that agent did to you, or to that seller. Yikes! Makes you wonder how on earth she's managed to have any business at all.

Good for you for coming clean with that seller, and how nice that that has worked out so well for you. I like your 3 valuable lessons - those can pertain to any number of situations and professions.

Thanks for sharing this story with us - one we can all learn from!
Ann

Great post. Can't believe the b*lls the agent had, but unfortunately I've seen it myself. Glad to hear you smoothed things over with the seller and kept your reputation clean.

Kimberly,

There are several issues here, but I will tell you, that stagers are vendors that we use to assist us in selling a property. We are looking for vendors that embrace the team concept, and will work with us.

We will always introduce stagers, inspectors, reapirmen etc. as part of our team. We all benefit from that.

The agent question is a fair question. We will never use vendors who are agents, who are married to agents, or who have parents or children that are agents. It's important on a team that everyone understands their role.

As you already alluded, you should have met first, to see if you could work together. Apparently not, but I believe that you are probably as much to blame as the less than professional agent.

Hmmmm....often here when a staging person is hired, they never meet the seller...the agent pays the stager and just includes it as part of the full service they offer. Best to get the working relationship straight from the get go....and to know the kind/personality of the agent you are working with....this one sounds easily threatened....and less than professional.

good post..I agree with you..you did the right thing..

Thanks, all, for your comments and support. I do feel in the end (or, in the bigger picture as stated above) that things did work out for the best. I do agree with the majority of you that the agent acted inappropriately, but I also agree with Richard who stated:

"There are several issues here, but I will tell you, that stagers are vendors that we use to assist us in selling a property. We are looking for vendors that embrace the team concept, and will work with us.

We will always introduce stagers, inspectors, reapirmen etc. as part of our team. We all benefit from that."

I am absolutely on board with the team concept. For those agents that I partner with, I am part of their team and behave accordingly. However, I am generally not brought in until the listing agreement has been signed.

As I stated above, it is not uncommon for agents to 'check' for my name as a licensed agent. I understand their concerns. I have just never had it presented in such a way before. I was taken aback by the gruffness of the approach. We both should have done our research beforehand and avoided these things all together. She was in such a rush to fill this need she had created that she didn't seek options until after the fact.

"As you already alluded, you should have met first, to see if you could work together. Apparently not, but I believe that you are probably as much to blame as the less than professional agent.

I completely agree. I am as much to blame as the agent. I was so eager to assist her because of the referring agent that I allowed the situation and it quickly got out of hand. I should never have agreed to meet her under those circumstances. That is why the whole situation was such an issue for me. It quickly moved beyond my control and it took some work to set it right again.

Thanks for bringing up those points, Richard.

One comment I wanted to add is on the question of exclusivity: if a stager is going to agree to that type of arrangement, then the agent requesting it should be able to offer enough work to guarantee the stager some level of income to make it worthwhile. I do not know about the rest of the country, but in NW Indiana, it would be financial suicide to hook up with one agent alone at this time. There are very few individual agents who have enough volume to keep a stager on staff. An office, sure, but not a single agent. So far, I do not know of an office who has a stager on staff that is salaried or even paid well. Should that become a reality, I will be all over it. :)

P.S. I also wanted to point out that this particular agent did not -or even offer to - pay for any of my services. I met her free of charge. All subsequent services were paid for by the seller and were contracted with him.

Hi Kim, as a videographer who provides services to realtors much as you do, it was interesting to read your blog. I think the weirdest thing about the whole situation is that she wanted you to sit at the listing presentation with her. How awkward! It was odd that she couldn't just assure a potential client that she uses a stager, but she had to have one present, like an accessory. I've had agents say that they use a professional videographer and even have a demo Video Tour for their presentation listings, but never has one needed me to be there (I gues to show I actually exist?!).

The nice thing about running your own business is that you can actually "fire" a client (seller or agent) and walk away. I've only done this once ever, but it is nice to know it can be done if a situation is extreme enough.

The bottom line is that as with all areas of life, if it makes you very uncomfortable SAY NO. There are tactful ways to do this, and in the long run you're better off.

Kimberly thanks for sharing your story and shedding a light on what we encounter in our profession sometimes. Its amazing some of the things that happen behind the scenes.

Kimberly, Great story. Glad you got the job, and hopefully, you put that agent on your DNR (Do Not Recall) list.

Kimberly - as an REA I am prtty shocked at that agent's behvaior. Unprofessional, to say the least. You made the right decision, and going forward perhaps will be more upfront with agents who call you to make sure it is clear how you will adn will not work. Unless you ARE on the team, seems to me you have the right to decide who you will and will not work with. Good luck. BTW did you ever get a call from the agent?

Jeff

Sounds like a horror story. I am glad things worked out for you.

Just remember: Not all agents are like that...not all agents are like that...

Hi Kimberly, Excellent post. Sometimes the hardest lessons turn out to be the most important.

Well done, Kimberly - live and learn....

An interesting account. You handled it very professionally. Too bad the other agent didn't follow your lead.

Amy-... if it makes you very uncomfortable SAY NO....Words to live by!

Michael - So true! The stories we all have told and will continue to tell never cease to amaze me. Live and learn...

Bob - I think I will start the list with her...:)

Jeff - I have not heard from the original agent, no. I kept waiting for her to jump out of the bushes at the listing, but it never happened. ;) The actual listing agent I have met with and talked to a few times now. I like her very much.

Don - Thank gooness for that!

Bill & Joan - Thanks and I agree!

Diane - I think this agent only leads...

Hi Kimberly-

Thanks for allowing us to learn from your experience. It's impossible to imagine all the agendas out there. Glad you were able to form a business relationship with the investor!

Kathy

JUN

2008

Wow! That was a great post. Thank you so much. I do think you handled that very well, considering the situation. That is unbelievable how she could react to you in such a way.

Such an uncomfortable position for you, but it sounds like it has all worked out well for you.

A user is a user in any profession, and so sorry that there are people like this that make me ashamed to be a realtor sometimes. BUt trust me there are many wonderful, ethical and "team" minded realtors, this one is best left to her own...she'll self destruct.

Kathy - yep, I still can't figure out what her agenda was. To punish the client for not hiring her? Punish me for not giving her an edge? In the end, I'm not sure what that demand would have accomplished for her had I turned the job down.

Cynthia - Thanks and glad you stopped by!

Christine - All's well that ends well, as they say.

Terrylynn - Most of the agents I have met or worked with have been kind and easy to deal with for the most part. I've found that most agents that are difficult don't want to be bothered with a stager, so they just ignore me anyway. Maybe that is why I so did not expect this to go in its eventual direction.

JUN

2008

You are exactly right. It is our business, and our money that we put into it. We have the power to do what we want and when we want to do it. that's the beauty of owning your own business!

Cindy - You got it! I think too many times, we are made to feel that we ought to be grateful for any work that comes our way and that we should take any job we can get. If that were the truth, we should not have our own businesses in the first place. It kind of defeats the purpose, don't you think?

JUN

2008

Hi Kim,

Hope all is well with you and your family.

Sorry to hear you had to go through all of this. I know you have learned from this as well as I have. Thanks for your story and your analysis. Take care.

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