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Rude People Annoy Me-More Than a Mini-Rant

When someone is having a conversation with me, the least I can do is give them my full attention.

Ines, is it a "Miami thing" that people are ALWAYS holding two conversations at once?

I'm adopting a new policy as of today:

I will no longer repeat myself when a person decides to take a cell phone call or simultaneously holds another conversation with another person.

It's rude.

Furthermore, in general, I find that social skills and manners are non-existent.

FYI, more times than not, I am completely not interested in your "other" conversation.

We should have cell phone booths, no?

Posted by Kevin Tomlinson - Miami Beach Real Estate on 06/12/2008 11:12 PM

Comments (28)

Post is included in group: Realtors®

28 Comments on Rude People Annoy Me-More Than a Mini-Rant

JUN

2008

Calm down now. I understand what you are saying, however, if a multi-million dollar buyer called you, would you interupt your conversation to take his call when he wanted to talk to you...

Yes, I realize, unimportant phone call's should be ignored...then again...

I quaduple task sometimes, then again, I've had 3 children...and it just goes with the territory.

Being polite though is very important to me as well...Nice post! Thank's for the reminders...

When I am out with customer's, my phone is on vibrate, just let's me know, I had a phone call...just to take a peak. I think you understand. Excusing yourself for a moment doesn't hurt though.

I agree that people have less social skills than they used to.

Jeff,

This isn't even my blog, however...maybe 5% of us still understand the meaning of courtesy.

The cell phone is so intrusive now and personal connections are suffering. Like Karen, I put my cell phone on vibrate. When it goes off, I always jump. Always good for a laugh. I think it is because I have been "bit" doing electrical work and the sensation is the same.

Karen

I'm torn here. People here don't even excuse themselves anymore If someone is holding a conversation with me, I do not even look at my phone, I find it to be very déclassé.

Completely understand! I have had a couple of conversations with people where they decided to answer the phone and put me on hold...I think it is a de-valueing of our time as professionals to let this happen and need to do a better job of setting expectations upfront.

Thanks for sharing!

Kevin.....one of my pet peeves

Is it a Miami Thing? I hope not, there's tons of rude people everywhere. Just today, while telling my housekeeper that she had missed something, she answered her friggin' cell phone!! That answers why I've had 12 cleaning ladies in less than 10 months.

And Karen, not even for a multi-million dollar buyer. Respect is number one.

btw, in Venezuela, they are making people check their cell phones at the door of many restaurants.

It's a manners/etiquette issue as well as a people skills issue.

If a person looks at me in the eyes and seems to be genuinely interested and engaged in my message, I always leave thinking, "wow what a nice, polite person."

It isn't just with cell phones...although they are the latest culprit. When our office goes on tour, I usually drive. Nothing drives me crazier than the passenger next to me deciding to carry on a separate conversation from the rest of the car behind me. I really wanted to hear what the back seat had to say and I couldn't, because I had to pay attention to her!

@ines (very twitter of me, huh?)

Never, ever pick up or even divert my attention away from the person/convo.

I love Houston's and always end up going to the one in Aventura because I can't take the people on their cell phones at the Gables Houston's. They make me take my baseball hat off, but the table next to me will have 4 people on cells at the same time (in more than one language)!

Paula

OMG---there is a girl in my office who doesn't have a person in the world to talk to until she gets in my car. My brain rolls around my head from the accoustics.

@ines

I had to WAIT to pay for coffee at Dunkin' Donuts for the employee to finish her PERSONAL CELL PHONE convo.

DUNKIN' DONUTS CAN YOU HEAR ME???

Kevin,

I think many people have forgotten what common courtesy & manners are. Besides, rude people just annoy me. I never answer or look at the phone when I am with a client. I want to give my full attention to that person that I am with.

When counseling new buyers or sellers, I tell them up front that I do not answer the phone when I am with a client. We all must set our boundries for ourselves.

@miamibeach (that was cute btw)

It's ridiculous!

who makes you take off your baseball hat?

usually starving and having already sat in traffic on US 1. that makes me take it off.

Rick & Ines,

I'm not saying talk to them for a long time, just to say, "I'll call you back after I'm finished with my current customer", usually they will then look for your phone call in an hour or so...

Kevin,

You are so right, there is not a lot of class anymore. However, my point to Rick & Ines was that if you have made the phone call and are waiting for a response. Excusing yourself for a brief moment to tell the customer that you will call them back in an hour or so...isn't so bad...if the conversation is 30 second's or less. That is of course if you initiated the contact and you are waiting for the call back...usually they will understand.

I see where you are coming from though! Great post and I referenced your blog on one I wrote a while ago, hope you don't mind. K

JUN

2008

Kevin, Its all right if I do it but its rude if anybody else does it! LOL. I have rules that I use:

If I am in the middle of a face to face scheduled professional meeting, I at most will look at who is calling but not answer unless I have alerted my client, vendor, etc ahead of time.
If I am in the middle of a casual professional conversations, I will look at who calls and make a decision to answer, but before I do, I will ask if it ok to answer the call.
If I am talking to a friend or peer casually, all bets are off.

Let's get some perspective here.

I am on the phone quite a bit. When I hear a ring on the other end, I say to the person to whom I'm speaking, "Go ahead and take that, it might be important". They look and either say, "it can wait" or "just a second", they then take the call quickly and tell the caller that they'll call back in a few minutes.

I'm not insulted when someone takes another call. I'm insulted when they do more than take a message and leave me hanging for more than a minute or two.

I think there can be balance. Absolutes, such as "it's rude to take a call when speaking with someone" is not necessary. We can multitask our telephone skills. Of course, a person should have only one conversation at a time. But, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't even answer the phone, get the message and offer to call back shortly.

Also, unless there is an emergency involved, an agent or lender should interrupt the business discussion to do anything but take a message.

I don't want to be responsible when someone misses a call about a family emergency. Nor would I want someone to miss a call from Lenn when she's calling with a good buyer referral. Just take the call and say, "I'm with someone right now, I'll call you back shortly"

That's not unreasonable.

@miamibeach ;-)

Nope, unfortunately it's not just people in Miami that are rude. It's everywhere. And I'm with you about restaurants where patrons are on their cell phones. How about those that feel the need to speak so loudly that the entire place knows all their business after 1 phone call that they just had to make after they entered the restaurant?

Cell phones are great, but when they're abused, like by rude inconsiderate people, I then rue the day they were invented.

To me, it's simple courtesy and common sense. Seems we have a nation full of people lacking simple courtesy and with no common sense. No?

@acummings

Kevin - I really couldn't agree more! I, too, hate repeating myself. I have a friend that thinks it is okay to ask me a question and as I respond she interupts at least 10 times to respond to a child of her's that has interrupted, answer her phone, etc. I feel like she didn't even really care! I refuse to asnwer my phone when I am in a store or restaurant. If it rings I let it go to voice mail and then check it when I get back to the car. I am one that has sat in my car in a parking lot for 10 minutes finishing a conversation BEFORE I go into a store because I just think it is rude and I don't want everyone knowing my business. And, to take this to another level, when we are on the phone in public you HAVE to watch what you say - you never know who might be around! The sister of a buyer? The dad of a sellers? The neighbor? You just never know. Sorry to have been so long but it is a hot button for me.

Agreed. People need to stay focused on the conversation. MULTI TASKING is a wave of the past.

PDA's are also a pet peeve of mine. When I sit with a friend who starts playing games in front of me, even in casual conversation it bothers me. And worse yet, when sitting at a lovely restaurant, I look over and notice the lovely couple preoccupied with their respective gadgets, the glow of LCD in their eyes....

These are the social dynamics and images we are feeding growing generations.

I so Love and agree with Lenn...just as I posted above. just tell them you will call them back shortly...they do UNDERSTAND...

I mean really...

Geeze, go hide somewhere...

Kidding. I have my phone on vibrate, however, I look at who is calling. If I precipitate the phone call and the customer is calling back...and I answer, and indicate that I will call them back in a hour...they usually say OK...then again, when I call them back an hour later...they don't answer...and well. Lost...someone else will.

It's a call, and I think there need's to be some latittude...Being agents...we should understand and respect the phone calls... I do.

JUN

2008

Dear Mr. Tomlinson,

Sometimes is dificult to abide by courtesy, specially when a customer is calling you, but in a middle of a businees conversation your cell phone should be turned off. If there is not other way at least you should ask yourself to be excused and go answer your phone in another location.

GDL

JUN

2008

Kevin, that has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. I am not interested in listening to your conversation and find it quite rude...and they always talk so loudly that you can't even tune them out. It's as though they just got a new toy and want to show it off for everyone.

NOT INTERESTED.

Personally, I turn off my phone when dining, and meeting with clients. It is a sign of rudeness and sends a clear message to the person you are with that they are not important...only the incoming call is important.

I would like to have some required cell phone etiquette for all those purchasing a phone. I'll be teaching the class.

As you can see you struck a nerve.

It is extremely rude and improper to behave as you described! I can see what is going on, I am guilty of the very same things.

I like to pay attention to one person at a time and I expect the same courtesy. The way things are going these days with technology - e:mail, text messages, voice calls ALL on a cell phone!

When it rains it pours!

Bottom line is... some people have tact, class and manners.

Some Do Not.

We should all be more conscientious when it comes to our actions around others.

JUL

2008

Absolute bulls-eye! Although I haven't had anyone wanting to hold a conversation with me at the same time as their 'caller' I have had rude phone users speaking too loud!! Whether in the office, or in the restaurant, it's RUDE, RUDE, RUDE. I wanna say, " Didn't your mother teach you better?"

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