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"Off-side parking" - New Blooper Blog!

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

 

 

Hi My AR friends! I know we can all use something to lift our spirits, so I am reposting one of my blooper blogs, and I have added a lot of new material. If you laugh just once, then it was worrth the time. Stay safe and well!

 

Huh?

"Off-side parking" (I told you not to  drink and drive.)

"Located between Malibu and Santa Barbara" (Your eye for detail is underwhelming.)

"Dull occupancy" (...Rather like my last blind date.)

"Close to Hole Foods" (This must be a donut chain...)

"Screened doors lead to new dock" (Next time check the tide levels before building.)

DUH!

"Now in moving condition" (Apparently that high-fiber diet is working out for you.)

"Seller paying to get clean" (Promises in Malibu, or just a giant hose-down?)

"Near breast schools and parks" (Perky little neighborhood it seems....)

"Cute bride over creek"  (Uh, not so cute if she's face down)

"Big move incentive" (Your hairy, naked neighbor screaming in your driveway?)

Wha?

"View from top of hull" (Methinks your listing is underwater.)

"Buff beau rose garden" (Buff beaus belong in the bedroom. Just sayin'...)

"Can walk to six pribate schools" (I suggest you get started...)

"Situated on top of slop" (You just flushed this sale down the crapper...)

"Buy before our expiration" (Looking for a deal on a cemetery plot?)

NUH-HUH!

"Hand-laid brick pati" (Nope, not goin' there, Pati...)

"New pics of repaired indoor poo" (Glad to see you finally got your s__t together.)

 

That's it for this week, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!

 

Please be sure to view my beautiful California listings at: http://www.gwenbanta.com. Thank you! 

Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

it's always a laugh to read your bloopers.  And in this mad mad world I could use a few more laughs.

May 13, 2020 10:16 PM
marti garaughty
garaughty.com - Montreal, QC
a highly caffeinated creative type...

 

 

May 13, 2020 10:51 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

These are typically hilarious!  Thank goodness for public school... 

Repairing indoor poo can be a challenge.  Here is a fun blog of mine on how to unclog toilets - while it's silly, it's real!

http://www.jaymarinspect.com/Unclogging-toilet-blog.html

While I know that's a pribate subject, it will give you a big move incentive.

So to speak.

 

Hoping you and Buddy are fully recovered and the chompers are fully eliminated.

 

 

May 14, 2020 02:20 AM
Realtyna Inc
Realtyna - Newark, DE
WordPress Real Estate - IDX, RESO Web API, CRM

Promises in Malibu, lol. Definitely worth the time Gwen Banta 

May 14, 2020 02:55 AM
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Good morning, Gwen Banta LMAO with this one... but they were all funny....

"Hand-laid brick pati" 

May 14, 2020 03:44 AM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Gwen... thanks for the early moring laugh... these days we can use all the laughs we can get!

May 14, 2020 05:27 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bruce Walter, apparently the neighborhood is hilly. 

 

Kathy Streib, I'm glad yo never had to deal with that. "Waste not, want not"! 

May 14, 2020 01:26 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Michael Jacobs and Raymond Henson - thank you for making it all worthwhile.

May 14, 2020 01:27 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Paul Henderson and Tammy Lankford, Thank you very much for your comments. I hope the laughter makes your week a bit brighter.

 

Marti Garaughty, I have been called "cookie," but never "sharp." Thank you!

May 14, 2020 01:30 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay Markanich, I will be sure to check out your post. And it's lovely to know you didn't "poo-poo" mine!

May 14, 2020 01:32 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Realtyna Inc - Welcome! Thank you so much for joining the fun!

May 14, 2020 01:34 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Barbara Todaro - yes, poor Pati. (Or maybe she is happy Pati?) 

May 14, 2020 01:35 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Nina Hollander, laughter helps get us through the tough times. I hope you have a lovely day!

May 14, 2020 01:36 PM
Jeff&Grace Safrin
F.C.Tucker 1st Team Real Estate - Valparaiso, IN
SpousesSellingHousesTM

Thanks for the laughs Gwen! great use of  MLS typos? Spell well and sell indeed!

LOL

Grace

 

Jun 06, 2020 02:56 PM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thanks for adding smiles to our faces.

Have an outstanding week.

Jun 07, 2020 05:48 AM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

Very funny, Gwen Banta 

I frequently see real estate listings hyping the formal dinning room.

That seems live a noisy room to get formal.

Jun 14, 2020 03:55 PM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Oh dear. Nothing much changes does it. Maybe lockdown has afforded some of these agents time to hone up on their publishing skills?

Jun 21, 2020 04:38 PM
John Juarez
The Medford Real Estate Team - Fremont, CA
ePRO, SRES, GRI, PMN

HI, Gwen,

I definitely enjoyed starting off today with a chuckle and with a smile on my face.

Jul 07, 2020 06:14 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

It worked! I'm still laughing over "Situated on top of slop."

Jul 25, 2020 03:37 PM
Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

I cant believe I've gone so long before finding your blog!  I'm a fan now!  Kathy

Sep 22, 2020 10:40 PM