In the last couple of years I was inimately involved in the transitioning of BOTH of my (late) parents to assisted living homes. In the case of my father, whom suffered with advanced late stage dementia this stay was short lived, but it gave my (then) 89 year old mother the peace of mind to feel more comfort in letting home care helpers into their house to care (at last) for her, a move she had rejected because she wanted to be the sole caretaker for my dad, but which her children insisted on because their situation of "living as usual" was not entirely safe for them and frankly she needed help.
So we got her help. Interviewed many, finally chose the most flexible group we could find...Even so, these workers would come and she would be escorting them to the door because she wanted to care for my dad herself, despite her age and despite that she herself was not the picture of health.
Eventually there were falls on the part of my dad and after a couple of time when I came over to pick him off the floor, as was bound to happen, there was that time where the police were called by my mom and they came and got him situated again. Things were getting dangerous.
Finally, it happened that the ambulance was called because the police could not continue to be placed in this awkward position...in short, it was not their job. Once the ambulance came and took him to the hospital for evaluation, then the social workers (Medicare/Medicaid)were called and upon his return to the home the appointed therapist came (for my mom)-that went over like a lead baloon-, the managing case social worker came, the home nurse came...all to my mother's chagrin and dismay. The Irish theatrical came out and never before have I felt so guilty! My parent's both, but my mom especially, viewed this as an intrusion and she had this unique ability to delude herself that everything was alright again, despite the history of it all. Eventaully, they found a routine again, and we kids (grown up ourselves and resisting the temptation to fall into childhood patterns ourselves) allowed a transition to home helpers that came to visit, ones that we hired as opposed to the ones the State had sent.
Working with the elderly in late life transitions is trying at best. One must have patience and understand that the "client" is actually many "clients"...there is extended family each with their own agendas whom may have drastically different ideas about how best to take care of mom and dad. There is also the point at which the traditional roles of parents to offspring goes upside down where the offspring become the parents and directing forces and decisions need to be made, and advocacy chains of command must be established between siblings so that hospital bureacracy does not overwhelm...POA's, wills, trusts, DNR orders...all must be reviewed. It is very easy for mom and dad to get lost in the shuffle. Prescriptions seem to mount, this pill, that pill, too may pills...
So oftentimes there needs to be a home sold in order to raise the funds to pay for an assisted living or nursing home...that is where getting a REALTOR that has been through the process, one that has made the cirular trip from nursing home to hospital to rehad back to nursing home/assisted living home, one that has sensitivity to the family issues that may be involved... You REALLY need to think it through.
When it comes time for the house to be sold, I harken back to the seven deadly sins of buyers and sellers, especially items 1 through 3. These are the first important steps in any listing and marketing effort...in elderly transitioning, the management and understanding of whom the principals are is foremost...oftentimes THEY need a guide, one whom is versed in the process and one whom knows when to delegate or suggest that other experts be brought in, experts such as tax advisors, elderly in-home care groups, estate sale groups, final clean-up of the home before listing outfits, cleaning experts...there has to be a plan!
Similarly there has to be a plan in marketing to best position to achieve what MAY need to be a quick sale or rental of mom and dad's house. With best positioning under multiple Internet media (webpages, video exposure, over 100 sites and portals...and affiliated with NH's top company, www.popesays.com through www.virtualhomes.com , I feel I am very well qualified to help you get this maze sorted out.
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