Why A Seller Should Never Be Home During A Showing

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Why A Seller Should Never Be Home During A Showing

I listed a home for a very nice retired couple and the home was located about 20 minutes from town. This couple didn't get around very well and made it a point to tell me they were not able to easily leave the home during showings. I explained that it is never a good idea to be at the home during showings because buyers simply don't feel comfortable opening cabinetry, closets and by the seller being there the buyer doesn't speak freely with me about their likes and dislikes. The couple said they certainly understood and they would stay on the patio during showings.

I was working with buyer couple who had looked at everything on the market in their price range and hadn't found a home that worked for them. The couple was wonderful and they knew what they were looking for and we found 3 homes that would have worked but the distance was simply too far for their daily travels. This couple had two school age children who were very active in school and sports so being closer to town was important because they would be making the drive two or three times a day.

Once I listed the retired folks home I called the buyer and told them I had found their new home but it was 5 minutes further out than they said they wanted. They decided it was worth a look so we setup a showing. We rode out to the home together talking about the other homes they had looked at and how excited I was about this new listing because it had every feature they were looking for and it was only 5 minutes further from town. This was exciting.

We entered the home and they lit up with excitement! The kids were going crazy about the yard, they were picking out their bedrooms, the mother loved the kitchen and this was obviously the home for them and they knew it and wanted it. We walked through the house a couple of times and they were arranging their furniture in their minds and we were on our way...this couple loved the home and in my heart it was the right home for them.

We were in the home for about 30 minutes and they had mentally bought the home and we were just finishing up and getting ready to leave and all of a sudden the seller entered the home. He must have wanted to give me a helping hand and then he spoke these words "We have loved living in this home...we would never be moving if it wasn't for our health...but this home is just too far from town for us. You could have heard of pin drop and my heart sank instantly. The seller thought he was helping me but he had just killed his own sale. I tell this true story to all my sellers and it makes it is easy for them to understand why it is never good to be home during the showing. I hope this story helps you!

Posted by Sam Miller - Knox County Ohio on 06/20/2008 02:01 AM

Comments (79)

sam miller, remax realtor

Originally posted at: Apple Valley Ohio Lake Community by Sam Miller: Why A Seller Should Never Be Home During A Showing

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79 Comments on Why A Seller Should Never Be Home During A Showing

JUN

2008

Sam, this is a very important point, and you made it well. Sellers get defensive about objections also.

Crazy that such an innocuous statement would kill a deal like this, but as the expression goes, "it is what it is." Harsh lesson.

You are 100 percent right to try and leave. The only thing satying longer could do was kill a deal and these guys killed it

It comes down to the seller letting you do your job. You are the one that has listened to every need and want and know what needs to be done. Thanks for the story.

Sam, open mouth, insert foot. Sellers don't realize that while they may know their house, we know the buyers!

hood post..I agree with you..sellers should not be home ..much easier without them there..

Great post, I think I might have to borrow your story to use as an example. i have shown other agents listings before where the seller was there and would follow us around trying to hard sell my buyer. My buyer was just turned off and all that seller sold my buyer was different house.

I always try to stress to my sellers, if you have to be present during the showing, let the agents do their job, and don't say anything unless they go out of their way to ask you. Not to mention if they might make a disclosure mistake, that could get them in a lawsuit.

Steve - You are right about the seller becoming defensive about objections especially relating to their decorating.

Larry - That one "was what it was" when the deal died.

Charlie - After the seller made his comments and the buyer instantly was deflated of their excitement and the seller instantly realized what he had done. Believe me when I say I had a nice discussion with them. The buyer did eventually buy another home and I was able to sell the sellers home without him being there.

Hope - You are right about the seller letting us do our job. Today it is no longer an issue for me because I tell the story about this experience (with names obviously removed).

Brian - Great point about the seller not knowing the buyer. I find this to be the case when the seller is reviewing an offer a buyer makes...especially when the buyer is requesting closing costs be paid for by the seller. This issue also requires a story to explain.

Michael - You certainly understand the moral of my story and I hope others can use it to help their clients.

Time and time again, I've seen seller's shoot themselves in the foot. If only they would shut up, they could stay but you can't count on it. I could think of a number of buyers who say things to sellers that cost them money, too.

Sam, I have been at showings with the homeowners there and have been there when they are not and I always prefer the when they are not due to the fact it just makes the showing awkward. However, I have run across a streak of owners who want to be here lately and I am not going to let them keep me from showing thier home. Now, if we could just get them to take a step outside.

Valid points Sam- I've yet to have a person purchase a home that had a "squatting seller." <- my term

I can just hear your inner groan----What a shame to have this happen. And surely the seller didn't know what had just happened.

Chuck - Squatting seller...now that one made me smile

Diane - The seller honestly thought I needed his help closing the deal and instead he killed the deal with an innocent comment.

JUN

2008

Sam- So true, even one word can kill any deal. When dealing with potential buyers you always have to know the right things and the wrong things to not say. Another thing many sellers don't realize often is that yes the home may be how you like it, but the potential buyer may come in and change things, and some sellers can't handle that and will even say no you can't change that that has been like that for over 20 years.... (ok so I got that idea from a t.v. show but I am sure it could happen lol)

GREAT story, sadly all too true. People don't understand how the little things can make a huge difference in a sale. It's just that simple.

Buyers also seem uncomfortable when the sellers actively engage them in conversation on the great points of the home. It's just easier for everyone if the seller is not home!

I am a stager who lived 8 miles out of town, on a dirt road, when trying to sell our last home. For every showing, I removed myself to the detatched garage, to "pack", and returned to the house when they came to view the garage, ( a huge selling point at 1200 sq. ft.!) ALWAYS offering, if they wanted a second look to let me know and I would trade places with them again. My home sold in short order, compared to all of the other similar properties on the market in our area. I would love to have NOT been home at all, but it was just not feasible under my particular conditions. My agent didn't need to explain it to me, but this is a possible suggestion for future reference, when the client just cannot leave.

Good post Sam. The point for seller's is not to be visible and not to comment at all. I tell my buyers that I will get them the answers they need and when I do have listings I tell the sellers not to say anything. Not only can it kill deals but little side deals can be made without the seller or buyer knowing it. One example of this is when a buyer says I like the whatever and the desperate seller says I will through whatever in and the buyer thinks it's included but the seller doesn't remember saying anything about it.

Hey Sam: I totally agree. This is a very important point! So many sellers do not understand this though

Thanks

Don

What an important issue. Sorry that happened to you. Back to the drawing board.

Good points for Sellers and Agents. Buyers buy for so many different reasons. Like you, I once had a Seller rave about the neighborhood and how everyone knew each other, holiday parties, etc. My Buyers were very quiet, private people. The Sellers were just selling the wrong features. There are gregarious and quiet people everywhere, but that was enough to end it for these buyers.

Sam, you are right, it is definately a bad idea for them to be home or show up later and throw their 2 cents in.

Sam,

This is so true. The seller is their own worst enemy when selling. They have a tendency to say the wrong thing in almost every situation. I hope you got it sold for them and found your buyers another perfect home.

Sam, great post. I had something similar happen a few years ago. My client didn't want to live around a lot of young kids. I told her that that wasn't information that I would have to give. When we were looking at a house, the seller was there. She asked about the kids and the seller went on and on about how many kids there were and how they were always playing out front. Needless to say...

Last week I was showing a farm. It was Agent owned. She insisted on showing us every nook and cranny, closets included. We couldn't get out of there fast enough!

Too bad about the potential buyer, but some interesting stories from everyone!

Excellent point and post Sam - and a great story to tell to sellers about why they should not be present at showings! Thanks for posting this!

"we found 3 homes that would have worked but the distance was simply too far for their daily travels. "

"This couple had two school age children who were very active in school and sports so being closer to town was important because they would be making the drive two or three times a day. "

"I had found their new home but it was 5 minutes further out than they said they wanted. "

I hate to disagree with you and all these sympathetic comments. This deal would have never made it to the settlement table. And if they did, shame on you for pushing them into the wrong house. Your buyers almost certainly would have realized that they were letting their emotions rule the day. This was not the right home for your buyers. They were clear that they needed to be closer to town. You should have never shown them this home.

Ron - I believe I understand your point but in this case I wasn't pusing the buyer and was just letting them know about an alternative option that was available. I would never push a client and certainly didn't in this case either. I informed them of the added 5 minute drive BEFORE we ever looked at the home and they still wanted to see it. If they would have said no we would have never viewed the home. In many cases the buyer truly doesn't know what they want until they see it and feel it.

This was a learning experience for me and hopefully this experience helps others on ActiveRain.

We recently sold our family home in NJ through an agent who had a very aggressive marketing strategy (i.e. our home was professionally staged, there were several opn homes in a short spac of time, etc). We were very reluctant to remove ourselves from the home for showings - but now I am gald that we did. The business of selling homes (and let's not forget that although it was our home, this was a business transaction!) is just that BUSINESS. My forte is not knowing what sells homes, nor knowing what potential buyers tick - I would rather leave that to a professional.

A great point to keep the sellers out of the home and another good point why FSBO's have a harder time selling their home.

Interesting story Sam. . .I totally agree that sellers should not be home. In my area there is a "top producing" agent who always instructs the buyer's agent call the owner to schedule showings. Very often when I show one of her listings the owner is home. I find it amazing that an agent with 20 plus years of successfull selling experience who carries 60+ listings at a time, gives the buyer's agents direct contact with her sellers! More than once, the seller has killed a deal with comments. . . .I have also negotiated a pretty nice deal or two for my buyers because the seller gave us too much personal information during a showing.

I see way too many blogs about clients being home during showings. You would think that they should know better.

Sam

You make your point well. It is often NOT what we say-but what a seller will say which will kill the deal on a home we have just about sold. A great story to tell in a listing presentation.

Thanks for the reminder. Hope the sellers ended up selling their home to someone else.

Sometimes it's the seller who says the wrong thing...and sometimes it's the agent! The less said, the better, no matter who it comes from!

Great story!

I couldn't agree with you more.

Similar but different story here. An elderly seller who was a very active, very proud, do-it-yourselfer stayed in the home during a home inspection. Everytime the inspector noted something a little wrong, the seller would say, "oh, I'll fix that". The buyer made a note of all the things the seller said he would fix. When the listing agent received the Request to Remedy, it was 3 pages long! Guess why!

What a great point you brought up. For all of us, we really have to be careful in what we say. You deserved an extra point added to your commision on this one.

We have an empty lot across the street. It is unbuildable, the last buyers didn't check it out before they bought it and paid a fortune for it. They have tried to sell it several times, not releasing the fact that there is a huge easement on the side of the 60 degree narrow lot and it's impossible to get the equipment up to build on it. I have had interested buyers come up to me in the yard asking me what I know about the lot. I know better than to say anything negative that could blow a possible sale for the Seller's. I could only imagine that I could get sued, but I do say, "I don't know, we built here and I can only suggest you check it out with the City to see what you need to build".

I feel bad for the owners of the lot, but also don't want to see another person burned in a transaction. I don't know the owners, but I wonder if they could get a benefit to sell it to the City for a small park or donate it.

We have a couple of homes on our street that were gutted and completely remodeled without permits. Buyers should depend on their Realtors, not the neighbors to get information. Besides being a wonderful street and great neighbors, it's all I feel safe to say.

Sam I agree I have a beautiful condo listed steps from the beach in Delaware and many times when a showing is scheduled the seller stays to tell the agent and prospective buyer about all the changes and upgrades he has done. He is very proud of his work and should be it truly is a great place, but he needs to take a walk when people go to look at the condo. Good Luck!

This reminds me of a couple I know. The wife says to her hubby, "Don't talk. Don't ruin my sale." (or she says to me, "He always ruins my sale.") Cracks me up every time.

Sam, this goes for tenants too: they follow you around, pointing out the negatives, or what changes they will make when they buy the house! I had this happen two weeks ago and it definitely is a deal killer.

This was certainly an unnecessary and untimely death of a sale...however. I think you could have given it a little CPR,...what is toooo far for a retired couple in poor health may well not be for a much younger couple with school age children...not being there it's hard to say...We don't let buyers and sellers have any contact until after closing...it's smarter and safer.

It sure sounds like more than a handful of ActiveRain members have been faced with a similar challege at some point during their career. I have also had this happen with family members trying to kill the deal and also with tenants who don't want to move our of the rental so they try to scare the buyer. Both of these experiences can be a giant pain the tail if you know what I mean.

A very poignant story. Thanks for sharing. Reminds me of the time I was showing a client a "FSBO" (a home being marketed directly by the owner, a.k.a. "For Sale By Owner") and the owner was present for the showing. Although the client liked the home she concluded that she could never buy that home because it was so obvious the sellers, who were going into assisted living, were so sad to leave. She said she would always feel bad for those people leaving against their will and that image would haunt her forever. So no matter how hard it may be to vacate the premises for showings, agents should make every effort to help owners stay away -- for the sake of prospective buyers and for their own darn good! :-D

Dear Sam,

I enjoyed reading your story about the sellers undermining their own sale with the distance to town issue. Lord knows, I've been there and seen that myself many times over the years, but it's always nice to have another agent write something along these lines that we can use to make the point clear to our clients as well. Sellers should always make an effort to be away from the property when it is going to be shown. It's the easiest way to avoid all the pitfalls, saying something unintentional that ruins the prospect of a sale or undermining their own position with respect to what they are really willing to do with an offer, etc. I've had buyers take advantage of sellers who are home simply by asking all kinds of questions that are personal and don't have anything to do with what is required to be disclosed. Sellers going through divorces, suffering from terminal illnesses and on the brink of bankruptcy should make themselves scarce so as not to be asked about their personal reasons for selling. Also, the flip side is true, sellers who are overly emotionally attached to a property (like longtime owners or childhood homes inherited with lots of memories) will make the buyers uncomfortable about "taking it away" from them by purchasing the home, so again, the sellers should just be gone when the home is being shown.

This is so important that I have seriously considered listing my own rental property with a competing agent just so I won't have to be at the property as the "owner" when it's being shown to a potential buyer. So far, I can tell that being the owner and broker representing the property has not been in my own best interest. I would much rather pay a full commission to another two agents, listing and selling sides, and just act as the seller than to shoot myself in the foot financially trying to fulfill my duties as the listing agent for my own little rental house. That's how important it is to have an agent working for you as the seller. Right now, I'm still my own listing agent, which is almost as bad as being a regular FSBO, except that I have the expertise and readily available documents and access to a multiple listing service that other FSBOs don't necessarily have. But I'm also subject to the same pitfalls that other FSBOs have when it comes to undermining myself as the seller showing the property personally to prospective buyers. Yikes! It's just not a good place to be.

Best of luck!

Cathy

I had an elderly lady who had injured her back and was unable to leave the house when I was showing it. She promised to say nothing, but my buyers asked her a question, so she voluneered and went on and on, making a big mess of everything. I couldn't shut her up - she was enjoying it so much and ignored me. Half of what she said was nonsense - the kind of idle chatter you'd do with friends, not sticking to important facts, but coloring and exaggerating.

Afterward she was so pleased with herself and thought she had done a good job of being friendly. When I asked her if she had forgotten what I had said about not talking, she said, Well, they asked me questions, so I had to be polite." The thing was, they asked one or two questions and the seller opened the floodgates! That was the end of that.

This is a great post and may have to use it as an example with my sellers on why they should be somewhere else when we have showings.

Great post Sam! I will keep this in mind any time a seller says they are retired!

I had a similar thing happen with an elderly gentleman. The older people always want to talk and it kills deals! This guy was so sweet. But when the buyer started talking about how much she liked the small kitchen, he commented that their new refrigerator was a little large and the door scraped the wall. That did it for her and she left and I never heard back from her. (It was even something that I fixed by cutting the floor moulding out...!) After that, I told this guy that he had to leave for all future showings. I had already asked him to do so before, but he always hung around to see what the people were like. After I told his wife what happened, she banned him from being there. It was an experience!

Sellers have to be told sometimes to understand the facts. Fact One is that the buyer does not want to meet them. Fact Two - the buyer want to see the house and have the opportunity to talk out loud and make any comments they need to. Both positive and negative. Better for them to get it out now than hold it in and never even consider this property. They cannot do that if a seller is breathing down their necks. Fact Three - A seller can be their own worst enemy and not even realize it. I always tell my selling clients about the above story and a couple others I have experienced and tell them to please "GET OUT!" during any showings in order to give the buyers the time and focus they need to make a rational decision about the property.

We have enough problems as REALTORS just trying to make a sale without having the sellers to mess up the deal.

Sam - I couldn't agree with you more! GET OUT, It's for your own good.

Sam, great post I have had many similar situations that a well meaning seller simply hung around and killed the sale

Defeat stolen from the jaws of victory. I hate that. But, there isn't much that can be done about it.

Thanks for the experience Sam!

So often, sellers have no idea what something as innocent as this particular statement can do to kill a sale.

ouch. i understand a couple wanting to be there when they are doing the fsbo thing, but don't they understand their role drastically changes when they have an agent? did the home sell?

Thanks for sharing. So people really have no clue. Have a great weekend!!

Andy Laughlin

Connect Realty

I agree and thanks for sharing the post and info with us.

JUN

2008

Good advice Sam. Sellers should not be around buyers. They can say the wrong thing.

Sam,
Other tip, besides that they do not be at home when there is a showing is: "if for some reason you are at home when prospect buyers come to see the house, don't say a word "zipp it" "
:)
Ray Saenz

I wrote a blog on why did I ask. It is always a good idea not to have the sellers comment on anything while they are there. I tell my sellers to please refrain from speaking if they are going to be home. Just to say thank you for coming.

Which, of course, is why so many FSBO sellers never succeed. They don't know what they're doing.

we have seen the same thing happen many times. As primarilly buyer agents, we see this more often than most. Once, we had a listing, and the owner was living across the street, and so saw every buyer that was brought to the house. One set, who were our buyers at our listing, wanted to buy the place, and do some serious renovation. The owner happened to see us all there, and came over, even after being instructed not to do so... he systematically talked the buyer out of the property... and the property was a perfect fit for these folks.

He did that three times.

That house is still on the marlet, some 3 years later. I imagine the new listing agent is dealing with the same issues.

Great post, and a great lesson... if you can keep your seller out...

Really good post. we always tell our clients...do not be home. Some think they have lots of positive things to add...the only thing they add is marketing time.

I always advise my sellers to leave during a showing and explain to them that they may make a comment that seems perfectly innocent to them but, without realizing, can give the buyers an advantage in negotiations. I also advise them that if they must be home, and the buyer or agent asks them questions, they are to say "I'm sorry but my agent has advised me not to discuss anything with buyers or their agents and if you have any questions, you are to contact my agent."

So did the Buyer ever find a home that was closer to town?

Sam, I hear you loud and clear. I always tell my buyers to leave the home, and also advise them if they should stick around, it's best to stay out of sight.

You make a good point, Sam. Even when I give enough notice, the sellers are still at the house when we show up, and don't even make a point to leave.

I appreciate all the positive comments and I want to thank everyone who recommended this topic as a featured post. I am very grateful.

Sam Miller

JUN

2008

Thanks for sharing Sam, this is great to share on a listing presentation I bet you have not had this problem again.

DeAndrea - You are correct that this is something I spend MUCH more time on and I generally tell the story to my sellers. The tenant situation is a bit tougher to solve.

JUN

2008

Sam,

Thanks for the story. You expressed the problem perfectly.

Robin

JUN

2008

Is that a collective groan that I hear. Of course, my interest is piqued? Did the buyers walk away or did they just ignore what the seller said. What a killer. ARGH

I find myself in an awkward position now because my own home is on the market. When other agents come to show my house, my inner Realtor kicks in and I want to "help" sell the home...after all...who knows it better than my husband and I...especially since we did the remodeling. By the way, did I mention all the new hardwood floors, or the new waterheater we installed when the first one blew up...and oh, don't miss the new lighting fixture in the kitchen. (((sigh)) I know...I know...it's time to take a dose of my own advice and take a long walk when potential buyers come calling.

OH...and if you're looking for a great home in the mountains of western North Carolina, visit www.sapphirelakeshome.com. Uh oh...have I gone too far??

JUN

2008

What an accurate description of things I have also seen! Wanting to be helpful, they often kill the deal.

JUN

2008

I feel it! I had a seller stay during a showing. I didn't know it till later when the showing agent called and asked if something was wrong with the seller. I asked why. Well I guess while the buyers were looking in the back yard the seller came walking over and of course they started talking. The buyers asked a question and seller responded by saying "I'm not taking anything less then list and I'm not fixing a thing" The house never sold.

JUN

2008

Robin - Thanks. It was a learning experience for me and one I haven't forgotten.

Carol - The buyer walked from the deal and that was fine but the seller absolutely killed the deal. After it happened I explained to them what had happened and the husband instantly realized what he had done. We didn't have a repeat occurance with this seller.

Barbara-Jo - You are correct, the seller thought I needed a little help.

Chad - Wow...that would be even tougher than what happened with my seller and being too far from town.

JUN

2008

Great story one to share with my sellers, or sellers I have that problem with.

JUN

2008

Gosh, my heart cringed when I read it. UGH. Sometimes it baffles me why people pay for our services but don't listen to our professional opinions...

SEP

2008

This is so true...I recently went into a home I was interested in purchasing the seller was there and she followed me around the entire house telling me about every room and what she had done to the house...I really wanted to be left alone...I liked the location but the woman drove me nuts and I didn't want the house...this is from me - a real estate agent....tell them to leave if possible and get out of their own way!

SEP

2008

If they have a pitbull, have them head out for an ice cream and take their time getting back! Buy one for Rover too. Good post!

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Sam Miller - Knox County Ohio

Howard, OH

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RE/MAX Stars Realty

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