I often consider one of my greatest strengths the ability to keep composure in a tense situation. I can think of many, many situations where my role as a facilitator - a person in the middle - allowed my clients to realize financial benefit because they kept their emotions in check. Unfortunately, on the other side of the deal was someone who lost because they themselves, or their Realtor went over the top with emotions.
Frequently, I hear myself saying to clients: "This is not a grudge match, it's about finances and lifestyle. You can gain in those areas or you can win this argument - but NOT BOTH". Clients are quickly comforted by the fact that this is likely the last time they will ever interact with the buyer or seller on the other side. When things get tense you can gain ground by giving a little (appearing to lose the fight) and then the situation softens, taking all that loss back and winning in the end. Let me give you a few examples:
THE PRICE CONFRONTATION
Eventually the focus of any offer turns to price. It's natural! Price is ALWAYS a discussion point. Discussion point - that is the key phrase. Often when the negotiations wind down to the final stages things can get a little tense. My advice to clients is to remember that winning often involves concessions and letting other think they won. For instance, if the negotiation came down to the last $1,000, logically speaking this agreement is already made. No one on this earth can determine the market value of a property within that range. If the other negotiating party is emotionally charged to win, quite often you can spend that last $1,000 in a much more productive way. Give them the last $1,000 and adjust the closing date to save you a couple mortgage payments. Maybe there is more value in some inclusions (appliances etc). An emotional need to win almost always leads to that person overpaying for the item they are attached to (price or otherwise).
THE NEGOTIATION PROCEDURE CONFRONTATION
This one is priceless! Let's face the facts - modern negotiations in North America are fairly tame. I always appreciate working with buyers or sellers from different parts of the world. Very frequently they have very different expectations and tactics when it comes to bartering. It's a mistake to let yourself get emotionally charged with the sequence of events leading to the agreement. People are different and take different approaches. I've had deals work from $20,000 under list and end up selling quite close to asking price. I've also had deals start at 98% of list and never make it past the first step. Regardless of the fact that they started way too low AND asked for your grandmother's antique wardrobe, getting upset will not help. Take it as a compliment that they are making an offer on your house instead of the others on the market and move forward.
THE LOWBALL OFFER CONFRONTATION
I'll agree with you that it's annoying. There are buyers in the marketplace who consistently start with obscenely low first offers. As a buyer's agent I advise people it can be counter productive. Still, people are told "if you don't ask, you don't get". Don't lose faith - sometimes a lowball offer can be your greatest tool to leverage into other, more credible offers. When an offer is presented on one of my listings guess what I do first? That's right, I call EVERYONE who looked at the property, everyone who says they are going to look and anyone else I can talk to! It's a funny thing how people are attracted to homes they may lose! Maybe the lowball offer can become acceptable offer, maybe it's just fuel for another... getting out of focus can cost you both of these benefits.
My Clients often have a lot of fun during the negotiation process... that's right - FUN! We talk about the likely outcomes, we know where we want things to go many, many steps beyond the current negotiation position. With this information in place when push comes to shove we never need to make a knee jerk reaction, we just laugh and notice where on the map the other party went.
If you have an experienced negotiator on your side you can take a lot of the negative emotion and unpredictability out of the process. Call me! I would be interested in presenting a more in depth negotiation process to you. It's amazing the amount of information we can discuss in the course of 15 - 20 minutes.
Being a facilitator is a key role your Realtor should be playing. Excelling in the midst of confrontation, negotiation break-downs and high emotions is critical to your success. Be sure you are working with someone who handles pressure well.
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