Robert,

I have two pieces of advice. One..don't lend money to kids, and two...pick up the book "Boundaries" and 'The Total Money Makeover" Yes our kids need our help and we can help them. But they have to WORK for it..it's not given. Yes there should be a contract but the boundary is by making them get off their tuff and kill it and bring it home. The old saying is...there's a great place to go when you're broke...to work. You can make 10-12K extra per year just delivering pizza for goodness sake. Also go to www.daveramsey.com and find out which station in your area is running his show...and listen. It will help your whole family stay focused and be on the right track with financial decisions so these situations don't arise again.

When your guy gets back on his feet the very first thing he MUST do is set aside an EMERGENCY fund. 1000K just sitting in the bank would probably help a lot right now and that's what is needed to always be in the bank for emergencies only. I truly believe in this program Robert. It's helped my husband and I immensely and I pray it helps you too!

Good luck

Holly. Thank you very much for the comments.

Robert, its a tough call and tough love isn't in your life I don't feel. So anyway, I would have a contract, (which you would never enforce) but at least she would know its a transaction.

Good luck, Dad.

Duane

Duane. You know me. I want to help because i ultimately want them to suceed.

Robert,

My dad lent us money when needed and had us sign a note for repayment.  The big kicker of the deal was that any surviving notes at their passing on were destroyed before the estate was top be settled. 

Bottom line was stated in your post: "because she is my daughter."  Parenthood IS sacrificing for your children's benefit.  We've all done it many times without thinking.  You do need to assess the consequences of your helping or not on her future.  Both going "down with the ship" leaves no one to throw a lifesaver.  If you can help without personal demise and it's in her best interest, then do so.  Sometimes though, our children have to learn the lessons of hard knocks.  If your money will only prevent her from cutting costs and restructuring her spending, then it's probably a lesson necessary to be learned.  If it's throwing good money after bad with a negative end in either case, keep your money to help her back up after the fall.  If she's going to end up homeless, then step up.  When we write the final chapter, the number of sacrifices we've made for our children are faded next to the blessings they have given us.

Best of luck to both you and her.

it's important to have an understanding that it is a transaction and some sort of repayment should be worked out, perhaps even on paper. whether or not you seek collection is a matter of your relationship. i personally would ask that it be repaid in a timely manner, but not expect it to. so i suppose i would let it go and hope to use it as a less: better planning and saving would keep them out of this spot in the future.

I have always felt that if they get a hard lesson from us as parents, maybe the world won't be so cruel. If they can't respect your help, they won't respect the loan or credit card later, and therefore will be back for help again. Sometimes the best advice is to let them try to figure things out on there own. Ask them how they think they should slove this problem and how to prevent it again in the future.

With that being said, by daughter showed up with a pooch after I told her "No" and I told her that she couldn't ever move home because the family dog would think that thing is a squirrel! She is home with us looking for a job and seeking help with some issues, however.... the dog.... sleeps with me! Our love is that of a priceless gift!

Great question.

Robert, I figure as much, you are a good great man.

Richard. Sounds like you had great parents. With a slow market here i have to be careful. I don't want to be stuck with more debt.

Ron. Yes we have discussed a contract. That will have to be in place before anything changes hands. I have been burned before.

Charlene. This is a tough question. I know what i want to do. We don't want to have them fall on their faces.

Duane. I try as best as i can.

Hi Robert,
Make it a gift, not a loan.  That's my 2 cents worth.