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Blogging with a Heart.....Will we remember you when you're gone

This is a social network, and many of us also belong to other social networks, chat rooms, etc. where we meet people that we call "friends". But what happens when that friend leaves, or you don't read anything from them for a long time. Do you think of these "living in my computer" friends and colleagues, or is it out of sight out of mind? Today I remembered a dear AR Friend that is no longer with us.

Today I have been working on several Real Estate related articles for my outside blog California Real Estate and Life. As a Veteran myself one of the areas that I have been excited about developing is the Military Matters and Relocation. I have plans for this. So today between Escrow problems, Agent Issues, and Broker duties I have been writing about VA loans.

I wrote a Post on 8/27/07 About some of our friends that were in need of a little AR Support at the time. This is an excerpt from that Post:

Many people work in a home office, or maybe live alone. We have a lot of things going on in our lives, both Professionally and Privately: transactions that need attention, people that want something from us, family, friends, kids, etc. But, who is there when we need a shoulder to cry on, to vent, to throw ideas around, for feedback, or to just listen......

Active Rain of course....

"When you're crying and all alone

It's nice to know someone cares.

They don't have to be on your doorstep

or on the telephone,

Just knowing they're there

Shows they care

When you need them the most."

Many years ago I wrote this for someone that was grieving. Not everyone has someone that they can talk to, and they might just need something that lets them know they're not alone. That's what I have seen Active Rain do.

Motivate,
Lend a hand,
Inspire,
Allow someone to vent and reassure them,
Welcome others,
or just be there by sharing information.
The community at it's best......

Well, when I posted this I had links to all sorts of people, and one of the people that commented touched my heart in a big way...even as I write this sentence tears are rolling down my cheeks. Anyway, that Post brought someone into my heart from then and even now, although I no longer see him, or hear anything about him.

After that Post I started to read the most Positive Posts, sprinkled with wisdom over and over again. I didn't really know who this person was, but I sure learned. And every Post that I read I could feel a heart and soul so beautiful that I wanted more. Today I just read every single Post he wrote here on AR. Some of them made me cry, some made me smile, and some gave me the VA Information I was seeking. And even though this Blogger, this Veteran, this lover of life is no longer on Active Rain....I remember him well, and I am just as sure many of you do as well.......

Bruce Beloved Active Rain Blogger

Bruce Bourgault was a VA Lender in Honolulu, HI

Bruce loved Blogging . Many of us remember his fight with Throat Cancer, and the beloved Hot Dogs that he so desperately wanted to taste again. It was a very sad day when Linda, his wife, told us that complications took over, and Bruce passed away. I remember that day like it was yesterday.....although it was the end of October 2007.

So, what started this memory......VA Loans!

Bruce touched my heart....and when I checked just for the heck of it, yes he is still on my subscribed list, and yes his Posts and Profile are still here. I'm not sure why, but for now I am glad, as it gave me a chance to reconnect.

Real Estate and all the other parts of it; lending, staging, home inspections, and everything else involves people. Our blogging gives us a chance to connect to people in a much bigger way. It is the way we Market Ourselves online. Just as Bruce, who lived in Hawaii, and who passed away weeks before I would have met him in person made an impression on me.....we try to leave an impression on others. We want people to remember us, as I remembered Bruce when thinking of VA Loans....that is what online Marketing is all about.....remembering when it's time.

In memory of Bruce......I will will dedicate part of my Military Matters Posts to him, and his love of both of his careers, An Officer in the Army, and a VA Mortgage Lender :)

***This is more than I ever expected from my Actie Rain Blogging....but when you blog with a heart, you meet others with a heart***

The bottom line is any and all of us are making impressions......but what kind is the question. Do we want to be a Bruce, who is no longer here and is remembered so fondly by so many. Or do we want to be the controversial type that can be kicked off the network, and the thing people remember is controversy and violation. It's our choice....

By: Kathy McGraw

Posted by Kathy McGraw, Riverside County CA Real Estate on 06/26/2008 05:50 PM

Comments (30)

active rain, blogging, inspiration, marketing, va loans, military, bruce bourgault

Post is included in group: The Art Of Marketing You
Post is included in group: Fraiche Aire
Post is included in group: Inspiration !!
Post is included in group: POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
Post is included in group: It's all about them (ThemThem)

30 Comments on Blogging with a Heart.....Will we remember you when you're gone

JUN

2008

After writing this I don't think I have the mental energy to finish my VA Loans Post today. I really am amazed at the people that are here, and the people that have touched my heart in one way or another...

Long live Blogging :) :)

Kathy, this post is certainly one with a heart! Active Rain and other online communities are microcosms of real life. What we put into them is reflected in what we get out of them. In AR, as in life, hopefully we can touch some others in such a positive way that we are remembered.

and you are at the top of my list in that respect- good job girl. hope all is going well for you and your endevors. did you get the ar outside blog message? be good cw

Kathy: Bruce was a friend to me and Randy for years. His wife Linda called me out of the blue a couple weeks ago....and she sounded like she is starting her life again. He will remain on my subscribed.....he deserves that place...for all the strength, the wit and humor he had until his last days...it was truly a gift to have known him :)

Brian- AR is indeed a micro community....I like what you say...I like interacting with the people that understand the concept that you get what you give, and the Positive Attitudes/Mentalities are the ones that brighten up our community over and over again :) Thank you very much for sharing this.....

Cheryl-thanks , and all is well....I got sidetracted today with reading 15 pages of Bruces Posts....I am sure I got your message, and just as sure that I answered ???? Now I am not sure LOL....did you subscribe to it? the VA Posts will be on there in a few days :)

Sally-I thought of you and Randy while I was reading all the Posts (15 pages and comments), and I know how instrumental you were in helping during that time. I will second all your thoughts on it was a gift to know him.....just as there are other peop-le here that are gifts for what they have contributed......funny but now I am smiling thinking of our William calling me the heart of AR :) :)

Kathy,

I only knew Bruce for a short time, but I knew he had a kind heart! In fact, I have a prayer list that mounts by the day...he and his family are still on it!!! Thanks, Fran

Fran- I am not surprised as you have the same type of heart :) Hope all is well with you and yours.....

Kathy, What a powerful post--and a beautiful testimony. I did not know Bruce nearly as well as many of you but he certainly touched my heart...I ate a hot dog on the day he had wanted to and to this day when I have one, I think of him. A tribute not only to Bruce but to the wonderful people here on Activerain.

Kathy, what a beautiful post. One that will touch everyone who reads it. I, too, remember when Bruce passed on and his wife Linda was writing updates. How strong she was in the face of death.

What a beautiful tribute. Bruce is NOT forgotten because he lives in your heart.

Kathy - Bruce passed just a couple of weeks after I became acquainted with him. I knew that Sally and Randy were close friends and I heard about him through their posts. What a beautiful tribute to Bruce and the power of Active Rain. We ARE family here and always reach out when one of us is hurting. What a heartfelt post.

Great Post. It is great to see a blog with such emotion.

JUN

2008

Kathy I always enjoy reading your posts. This one is no exception. I did not know this particular individual that you speak of but I've know many others including yourself that I will never forget.

Kathy, Bruce really loved blogging, he is missed. Glad to hear Linda is doing well. I so agree with you, passion and heart are so critical as a writer. I may call you today, if I get a minute to speak to you about VA loans.

Kathy, Very well written post and great themthem for Bruce. I remember him thru AR. I love your poem.

Carole- Oh yes, the Hot Dog Day....even thinking of that reminds me of so many people here that supported Bruce's wish. Marketing with a Heart for sure....that is what has taken a simple hot dog, or a boring VA Loan and given these words a name, a face, and a heart. the power of our community for sure.

Irina- "Because he lives on in our heart".....that says it so well. And he does for sure. I doubt we could ask for more, a legacy of good will and kindness :)

Linda- Yes, even in Bruce's Posts he mentions both of them a few times.....but that's not even how I "met" him. He found me....by commenting on that particular post about being a cancer survivor. I immediately added him to my list, and that was the beginning of a way too short journey with him as he fought his battles.

William- Why Thank you sir.....we do have so many people on here that after a time it seems we "know" them, and these are the people that will be remembered the most in my opinion.

Nannette- How wonderful that you are here, on this Post of remembering.....I love your sensitivity and wit. Hope everything is going well for you and yours......you would have liked Bruce I am sure of it.

Missy- I met Linda when I went to Hawaii a month after Bruce's passing. Her strength was amazing. At the time she talked of going back to Texas, so it's nice to hear she's well. And yes, Bruce is missed.

Gita- Thank you.....this poem was written for someone that was grieving, to know that people care even if they aren't physically at your side. It seemed so appropriate to our AR friends.....we can care without being on the doorstep or on the telephone.........

Kathy,

Social Networking does take on friendships that you thought you would never gain. I went to an Arizona Blogging Network Group recently and I was surprised how many people there knew me and how many people I knew. It really is powerful. I have also known since we all share a common bound that we are a group that enjoys giving and helping.

What a great sincere post.

Kathy,

Thank you for writing this beautiful post. I miss Bruce too and his last posts, in which he imparted great wisdom to all of us, stick in my mind to this day, along with his smile and giant heart. He's still on my subscribed list too, and always will be.

Kathy,
I knew you were talking about Bruce from the very beginning! He was a sweetheart, so giving and kind. I miss him too.

Kathy, strange that you mentioned Mr. Bourgault, as I called him, I was thinking about him the other day. He truly loved ActiveRain. He blogged even from his hospital bed. He indicated in his blogs and comments tht he had every plan to return from his fight with cancer but it was not to be. I truly miss his spirit here. Thank you for sharing.

JUN

2008

Gary- I remember reading about that get togethere...there were some people there that I would have liked to meet including you. Yes, I don't think most of us expected that benefit when we joined. The first person I met from AR was Ricardo Bueno- Mortgage Broker from the LA area. that was great.......he's a really nice guy and works hard at his profession.

Jo-Anne- thank you....but unlike you and Sally I feel funny with him on my list. I just feel that Bruce is in myt heart....but he'll never post again, so it feels strange to me to have his blogging persona there. That's just me.....and the one thing about blogging is we can have our own personality, without having to conform to others pre-conceived notions. Bruce will be remembered by so many.....including me.

Cynthia- I remember your beautiful posts about Bruce.....I have no doubt you could feel him in this one :)

Dionne- I see another one of his admirers in your words.....I believe his spirit is still here...we've just proved it by everyone that remembers him so well.

All: The bottom line is any and all of us are making impressions......but what kind is the question. Do we want to be a Bruce, who is no longer here and is remembered so fondly by so many. Or do we want to be the controversial type that can be kicked off the network, and the thing people remember is controversy and violation. It's our choice....

Everytime I have a hotdog I think of this man whom I never really knew... but made an impression............ I hope to do the same with the world

Dez- Amen to that.....and I would say that you are well on your way :) :) Hope all is well with you.

JUN

2008

Kathy - Your heart comes through in your post. You have captured so well what the real point of all this social networking is. Its not about what I can take, or what business I can get, but its about giving and truly connecting with the people that you meet, whether on line or elsewhere in life. I wish that I had been in the Rain earlier and could have met Bruce.

Pam-Your assessment of what social networking is all about sounds good to me. Of course there are some that still believe it's all about them, but that's OK.....I don't interact with them very much. The Bruce's in this world, and in our micro world here are what make social networking so valuable. Of course this is my opinion, but it serves me well for being a guideline for my give and take behavior. Give more than you take, and never leave anyone worse off than when you met them :) :)

Kathy, what a bittersweet post and a wonderful tribute to Bruce!!

Hi Kathy...Thank you for telling me about Bruce Bourgault. Although I never did read any of his posts that will change now. I am glad that his writings are here for all of us to read.

Take care,

Kathleen

Marchel- Yes, that's a good word, bittersweet, so many thoughts and memories.

Kathleen- Hi...all of his Posts are here. If you start with page 1 you are actually reading backwards.....but however you do it you will see that he was a man of great strength, humor, and a love for what he did. Hope all is well with you. I was thinking of your lake the other day, nice for the summer.

JUN

2008

Kathy- Beautiful post! Bruce was lucky to have found you also! All the best!

Kevin

AUG

2008

Everyone: I've been away for awhile, but I am finally able to read postings about Bruce again. I cannot explain how much I miss him and always will. However, it's encouraging to find folks like Kathy that who remember Bruce fondly including those that only heard about him third hand. I am very grateful to find many of you still thinking and talking about him... this makes me smile and just reinforces what I knew about him all along - Bruce is one hell-of-a-man! It's been a difficult journey since his death, but I've managed to survive. There's still a long way to go on this journey, but I know he is always with me and that I'll eventually thrive again. I'm maintaining Hawaiian residency for the foreseeable future although I don't get back to Oahu very often. I've been traveling, visiting with friends and family, and working diligently to over come many challenges. Thank you for remembering Bruce as an associate and friend.

Bruce was honored by the Wahiawa-Wailua Rotary Club recently as a Paul Harris Fellow. This fellowship honors people who have supported education/scholarship among young people and worked diligently for international peace and understanding. He mentored innumerable people in the Army, in the mortgage business and supported many that we will never know about. He was just that kinda guy.

Thank you Kathy for a fine post, remembering Bruce and to everyone else who still thinks about him.

AUG

2008

Kevin- somehow I missed your comment....sorry about that.

Linda- So nice to hear from you, and that you are fine..I was wondering if you had settled in Texas. As you can see many people remember Bruce fondly. He was indeed one heck of a guy....

What an honor to be named a Paul Harris Fellow. Just as we remember him in our own special ways, now he has that recognition from the Rotary :) Nice.....

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