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Doveryai no Proveryai, meaning: “Trust but verify.”

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

Doveryai no Proveryai, meaning: “Trust but verify.”

 

Sizing People Up, A Veteran FBI Agent’s User Manual for Behavior Prediction, by Robin Dreeke and Cameron Stauth, published in 2020 by Penguin Random House LLC. This book has everything to do with thinking, analyzing, and predictions. As a former HR Recruiter in Dallas (1997-2002), I was trained in Behavioral Based Interviewing in 1998, and I have read books by former FBI Agent, Joe Navarro on Body Language; however, this book report is much more comprehensive and educational for learning new skills about learning to trust and verify.

 

Preface

 

Because of my former background I was inspired to read this book, "Sizing People Up." No matter what a person's occupation is, you have to think like an historian, meaning what's your background, what do you know, what do you need to know, do you have the facts, can you verify, are you able to stay focused and remain disciplined. This book report/review aroused out of curiosity about my previous and current life experiences. Sometimes, people believe they are right because of what they know, but learning is continuous and to stay current and grow, we have to understand people, what they want, and how can I be a better person to understand their needs. This is the reason why I was attracted to "Sizing People Up," and other books that teach me something new about how I interpret data and facts and to be careful when communicating effectively. This is a book, I highly recommend. It exceeded my expectations and like a spoiled child who wants more, I wanted more. Therefore, if another book is published by this author, I will be sure to read it.  

 

About the Authors

Robin Dreeke graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy and served in the U.S. Marine Corps before entering federal law enforcement in 1997. He directed the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and retired as an FBI Agent. Cameron Stauth is the coauthor of ‘The Code of Trust’ with Robin Dreeke.

 

What I Liked About This Book

The story begins with an overview of American history, specifically 1982, when President Ronald Reagan and the Soviet Union agreed to “freeze construction of all new nuclear weapons.” The two World Leaders invoked the “Russian motto of ‘Doveryai no Proveryai,’ meaning Reagan would only trust the Russians if they could prove they deserved it, ‘with facts and figures.’

 

Chapter I does a deep dive into September 11, 2001. Ironically, Adam Feinberg from ActiveRain and Robin Dreeke both narrowly missed being in the World Trade Center on the day the Towers were struck. Like busy bees, most people in business buzz around and stay focused on time, place, meeting deadlines and people. But do we really know how to read people and accurately predict what they’ll do.” This book is really about slowing down and learning how to do a better job on reading people. Below is an excerpt from “Sizing People Up about trust:”

 

“Trust is the active form of faith. It demonstrates---in real time and in the real world---a belief that people will not only try to do what they say they will, but also have the competence and diligence to make it happen. A betrayal of trust is one of the most devastating experiences that can happen to any human being, partly because it’s almost impossible not to take it personally. It wounds you deeper than an accidental loss, because it makes you not only doubt other people, but even yourself, thinking that you should have known better.”

 

What I Did Not Like About This Book

This book does not address how to deal with people from other countries knowing their culture, language, customs, and the ability to size anyone up when conducting business. I have traveled to Switzerland, Italy, France, Monaco, Mexico, and Japan. What they all have in common is their own language, currency, etc. I could not drive, read a menu, or communicate with anyone without knowing how to do so. Words and gestures mean different things to different people.

 

Summary

The author fluently illustrates the importance of effective communication: “The best way to build the empowering alliances,” is by “virtues of trust, honesty, and mutual support.” Non-communication is “an effective method of conveying and interpreting what people truly believe.” But it may not be “consistent with what they are saying.” Our actions “speak more honestly than words.” What we think, and what people do may not be congruent or true. The world was changed by September 11th. Moving beyond political correctness is a big step in moving forward. Truth and validity are crucial.  

 

This blog post was inspired by the ActiveRain August 2021 Challenge hosted by Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist and suggested by Debe Maxwell, CRS 

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dfw fine properties

PATRICIA FEAGER, REALTOR®
DFW FINE PROPERTIES
3575 LONE STAR CIRCLE SUITE 315
FORT WORTH, TEXAS 76177

Email Me
                                  

                                     

MBA (University of Dallas)
BA
(Bachelors of Arts & Science)
Paralegal (Southeastern Career Institute)
Associates (3) (College of Lake County)
KU (University of Kansas)

CERTIFICATIONS

CRS (Certified Residential Specialist)
SRES (Certified Senior Residential Specialist)
PSA (Certified Pricing Strategies; Mastering the CMA)
CRS (Certified Military Relocation Specialist)
RENE (Real Estte Negotitions Expert)

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." --- Theodore Roosevelt 

 

 

 

  

Comments (29)

Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

Thank you very much, Patricia, for telling us about this book. I regret that your post is not available for a reblog.

Aug 04, 2021 01:58 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Roy Kelley - You may recall, I am not authorized to allow re-blog based on state and Broker authorization. 

Aug 04, 2021 04:02 PM
Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Realtor

Good morning, Patricia... "trust but verify" and I can say it both English and Russian has always been one of my favorite expressions. Ronald Reagan increasingly proves his wisdom as the years go by.

 

With regard what you didn't like about this book, it would be hard to include all that information in one book. Each nation's culture could be deserving of its own book.

Aug 05, 2021 05:26 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Patricia - finding a book or an author that "speaks to you" on different levels helps us grow.  And, dare I say, ponder.  

Aug 05, 2021 05:42 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

Thank you for your book review, Patricia! I just ordered and my copy should be here this weekend. It sounds like a great book to improve one's situational awareness skills. Thanks again!

Aug 05, 2021 05:58 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Nina Hollander, Broker - I felt like I was treading water when I wrote that paragraph about what I didn't like. It was something Kathleen asked us to mention in our book report. All in all, I thought the book was very educational and informative. Your paragraph one goes straight to the heart and I agree, whole heartedly!

Aug 05, 2021 06:02 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Michael Jacobs - Ditto! There have been very few books I didn't keep. It's amazing how many books on my shelf have served me over the years. An author's book is a celebration of their life in words and/or illustrations. What a gift! And it keeps on giving.

Aug 05, 2021 06:05 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Kat Palmiotti - Oh good! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. It's a book that I will keep referring to and continue to learn. Let me know what you think, after you read it. Have a great day!

Aug 05, 2021 06:07 AM
Kat Palmiotti

I will, Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP (let you know what I think AND have a great day!)

Aug 05, 2021 06:07 AM
Brian England
Ambrose Realty Management LLC - Gilbert, AZ
MBA, GRI, REALTOR® Real Estate in East Valley AZ

Your book reviews are always so wonderful and even though I am not a reader, they make me think about reading, haha.

Aug 05, 2021 06:13 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Brian England - thank you for the compliment! Should you find yourself reading this book I recommended, please let me know what you think! 

Aug 05, 2021 07:00 AM
Wendy Rulnick
Rulnick Realty, Inc. - Destin, FL
"It's Wendy... It's Sold!"

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP I can tell you are quite a reader, because you are a great writer. The books sounds intriguing, especially with respect to "predicting" behavior as opposed to simply reading body language.  I'll check it out!

Aug 05, 2021 07:25 AM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Yes it's true Patricia, words and gestures mean different things to different people around the world.

Aug 05, 2021 07:25 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Awe... thank you Wendy Rulnick! Initially, I was fooled by making assumptions based on body language too! Assumptions can be wrong and there is a lot more to behavior than just gestures or where the eyes wander. The problem, as I see it is that if we don't understand another person's language or their culture, it can easily be misunderstood because the other person may not be able to grasp the English language or culture yet, or perhaps, not at all. I got a good taste of that visiting other countries. If you read the book, I'd love to hear what you learned. Have a wonderful day! I can't wait to read your book review. 

Aug 05, 2021 07:43 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400 - You make an excellent point. Because everything is subject to interpretation, we need to be careful not to jump to conclusions, and to learn "Sizing People Up," without being judgmental.  

Aug 05, 2021 07:48 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Communication, whether verbal or through body language is very telling Patricia. Learning other culture's nuances would be very important when doing business or engaging them. We can learn a lot when communicating with diverse cultures.

Aug 05, 2021 06:54 PM
Kris Collis, Associate Broker
Smart Way America Realty - East Stroudsburg, PA
Professional Results you Expect 570-801-5525

Patricia, These principles are so relevant to our business.  The focus is on the cother person, the client.

Really hearing them plus active listening equip us to be useful meeting their needs in ways they work for them.

Aug 06, 2021 09:36 PM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can! and Kris Collis, Associate Broker - This is a very powerful book with information about communication I haven't heard before. I learned a lot from reading the book. Perhaps you will consider reading the book?

Aug 08, 2021 03:58 PM
Ray Henson
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA
Realtor

This one sounds like a very interesting book.  Thank you for the informative summary.

Aug 12, 2021 06:14 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I just finished reading this book, Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP . It was very interesting, showing ways to know whether one CAN be trusted by objectively looking for positive and negative tells.

 

Thank you for the recommendation!

Aug 25, 2021 07:51 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Kat Palmiotti - thank you for taking my recommendation and report back. As a nation, we still have a lot to learn. I would love to sit down in a coffee shop on Main Street to discuss books and all the things of interest to you that you have learned about the great State of Montana. 

Aug 27, 2021 01:38 PM