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"Referral" or "Introduce": A Case of Semantics

By
Real Estate Agent with TopBroker Network Real Estate

Had a rather interesting meeting in my office today. My brokers (I have 2) have decided to start having "dialog classes" every other week. Both are involved in the "By Referral Only" program and have put into practice many of the tools given to them by the company.  While this blog isn't exactly about the specific program itself, it's important to note a few of their philosophies, though, for me personally, jury is still waaaay out on this stuff.  Since I've yet to attend one of their intense weekend "Main Events" I'm not well-versed in their approach, unlike a few others from my office.  That said, I adore my brokers.  I still think I made the best choice by hanging my license with them and though they're both enthusiastic about the program, they continue supporting me with or without my involvement in BRO. I'm not here to rag on the program, just question some of its ideas and ideals.


Replacing "Introduce" with "Refer"

They don't use the word "referral", rather, more like, "You'll be so happy with the help I give you, you'll gladly introduce me to people." But really, is that much of a difference?  The problem I have with this philosophy is simple:  if you're so concerned about using specific language in order to get "introductions" before you've even worked with a client, doesn't that seem somewhat presumptuous?  I mean, you're basically asking for something.  From what I understand, BRO's point is that when one practices all these dialogs enough times, the words will eventually flow out of your mouth with such ease, you'll be a "natural" and get those referrals no matter what. *Poof*

Let me just say this:  I'm a huge fan of Jennifer Allan, "Sell With Soul" author, who, readily admits and reiterates over and over again, how much she does NOT, I repeat, NOT <heart> referrals, introductions, or any other assorted verb with similar meanings because your actions speak louder than words and your client will love you so much that, of course, they'll tell others about you. Or, they won't. That's okay too.  Most, however, will, and that's her point.  When spending "soulful" time with my clients, I'm right there with them, not thinking about two more names I can get from my client, who, by the way, has hired me to help them sell their house or search for a new home.

When I first got to know Jennifer's philosophy, I got it. At least I thought I did. In hindsight, I don't think I really got it--until today.  Would referrals be good for a newbie like me?  Yes, they would. Should I ask, even if I feel it's not right for me?  Don't have much interest in that.  By being part of Jennifer's class, I know I'm off to a good start.  Hmm...will I be practicing my dialogs?  Maybe. I'm open to learning. I'll have to wait and see. (Geez, right now I'm shooting for a "natural" state-of-mind when importing photos on my blog after much practice!)

What's most important to me is that I continuously take care of my clients, first and foremost, right here, right now.  The rest will come, I truly believe...

 

Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Carin - Clap Clap Clap!!!! No matter what you call it, when you put your friends or clients on the spot asking for business or referrals, it damages your credibility and possibly the personal relationship. I can't count the number of times I've been begged for referrals by a friend and suddenly felt a wall go up between us. On both sides... on mine, I now feel guilty if I haven't sent business her way, so I avoid her. On her side, she's wondering why I haven't (or at least I imagine she is). SUCH a bad idea.

WHY OH WHY take the chance????? It's just not worth it.

Some people are natural referrers and WILL refer to you, if they were satisfied with your service. Others simply aren't and no amount of begging will change that, even if they WERE satisfied. Focus focus focus on doing a great job every day and business will come. I PROMISE.

p.s. Is your office doing Joe Stumpf's BRO program or the Brian Buffini thing?

Jun 26, 2008 11:34 PM
Benjamin J. Shoemaker
Alpha Real Estate & Valuation LLC - Wallingford, CT
Appraiser/Broker/Investor

Carin,

I totally agree with your approach to referrals, (introductions...I'm not buying that,) and I feel that if you let your work with clients and your commitment to helping them achieve their goals speak for itself, then the referrals will come naturally.  Trying to force it up front is still trying to force it up front after the hundredth time, no matter how much you practice the "dialog" it won't seem natural to a client.  I am glad to hear you have an open mind, that's the way I look at anything new no matter how skeptical I may be. 

"If it doesn't aplly let it fly!"

Thanks for sharing, and good luck out there.

Jun 26, 2008 11:45 PM
Derenda Grubb
CENTURY 21 Mike D. Bono & Co.'s - Lake Charles, LA
GRI, ABR, CRS

Sometimes you get so involved in learning a "new" unique vocabulary system that you do not hone the same skills that are being discribed.  The idea is to develop the skills needed to promot you as a professional.  I hope you are given enough freedom to do this rather than worry about this new Ultra Team effort that seem way TOO CUTE for me.

Jun 27, 2008 12:42 AM
Carin Arrigo-Zimmer
TopBroker Network Real Estate - Orange, CA
TopBroker Network Real Estate

Jennifer - We're talking Joe Stumpf.  I've been to one of BRO's half day gigs, but that's all. I joined my current company shortly after the other 4 people returned from one of BRO's weekend Main Events. Without knowing any specifics, I can safely assume they saturate ones brain with all sorts of "scripts" if you will.  Again, I'm not here to berate the program, especially when I have such respect for my brokers, which is why I'm planning on talking to them about this very issue.  (I think one of my brokers is sensing I'm not fully engaged at this point and I need to be honest with him.)  He's aware of you and your philosophies (I may have mentioned you, oh, about 50 times) yet I don't think he fully understands some key differences.  Hey, I'm just figuring it our myself!

One interesting note... many of the larger RE companies don't agree with the BRO approach at all.   My broker had invited a few other agents to the meeting from other companies and one woman shared that her company (one of the largest) will not allow her to put a "welcome" sign at the front desk when a client has a consultation at the office.  (This is one positive note regarding BRO.  I like the welcome "whoever" sign and don't understand why her company has such a problem with it.  They also wouldn't allow her to put a small refrigerator in her office, but whatever.)  I just can't get past putting myself in my client's chair and wow, no, no, no. Please don't ask me to give you 2 names, please!!!! So not soulful, whatsoever.

Benjamin - Thank you for sharing!  Every time I speak to prospective client, there's nothing more important than listening to what they are saying, not thinking about "which dialog card should I use for this person?"  Second nature to me means listening. There are hundreds of these cards and instead of using my energy in rehearsals, I'm more concerned about how best to consult and help.  And, yes, in the meantime, learn the ins-and-outs of my market.  Time is precious and I think rehearsal time would be better spent on learning the basics of presenting a listing, for example.

Derenda - Completely agree. Freedom is where it's at.  You said it. Thanks. :-)

Jun 27, 2008 04:17 AM
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Carin, This is the company I mentioned on our private forum that did the weekend signage, I think - which puzzled me because what does putting out a bunch of ugly CALL ME signs have to with referrals?

If something doesn't resonate with you, it's not right for you. And I know you know that...

Jun 27, 2008 05:28 AM
Heather Oberhau
Prudential Fox & Roach - Newtown, PA
Bucks County Real Estate, e-PRO

Carin, all this business mumbo-jumbo with scripts, marketing techniques, etc. can really be boiled down to:  Do a good job.  When you do a good job for people, good things follow: referrals, money, accolades, etc.  I'm all about taking care of business, and trusting that the business will take care of me. 

Jun 27, 2008 09:07 AM
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Seems obvious, doesn't it Heather?

Jun 27, 2008 12:29 PM
Robin Sherman
www.PensacolaForYou.com - Grand Points Realty - Pensacola, FL
Search Pensacola Homes, For Sale - Pensacola FL Neighborhoods

Carin - Follow your instincts. Savvy people (And even some not so savvy people!) see through the scripts. I remember watching my then two-and-a-half year old make fun of the television ads for "Sellin." Even a two-and-a-half year old knows when they are being sold.

If your goal is a good outcome for your client, it will also be the goal of a good outcome for yourself and you'll be at your very best. They'll appreciate you. I agree 100% with Jennifer (as usual). "Some people are just natural referrers." I have two clients who gave me the bulk of my business in my first few years. They worked with me, got to know me, believed in me and talked to LOTS and LOTS of people about me. I will always be indebted to them . . . but then, I do know I did a GREAT job for them, all without scripts or "Sellin."

Jun 27, 2008 03:42 PM
Carin Arrigo-Zimmer
TopBroker Network Real Estate - Orange, CA
TopBroker Network Real Estate

Heather & Robin - thanks for adding to the discussion. Great comments.  Right now, my concentration is on learning, not "sellin'" as Robin's then toddler so aptly put. Scripts don't mean very much if I don't know what I'm doing during a transaction. I've gotta lot of learnin' to do... :-)

Jun 27, 2008 05:03 PM
Heather Rankin
Rankin Realty at Lake Powell, LLC - Page, AZ
Lake Powell Real Estate

Carin - what a refreshing post. May I say I've had kind of a rough week - lost a listing but it's all good. I am NOT going to do scripts and I am surely not "sellin". I've been in the "people" business for 25 years and if I can not figure out how to talk with someone without a script, I am in the wrong business. I am also new to RE and to blogging, but am finding, that because I am blogging, others in the office are willing to answer questions and do other 'little' things because I am helping. All of it helps the learning process.

Thanks for your bright outlook :-)

Jun 27, 2008 08:31 PM
Anonymous
Anonymous

Heather -  I, too, am new to RE and blogging, but so far, I'm finding my time here is well spent, especially meeting people like you!  Sorry about your crummy week, but like you said, we're all about the "people" and no matter how much I practice my scripts, I don't think I'd ever sound like me. (some would say that's a good thing...lol) Here's to a better week. :-)

Jun 28, 2008 10:30 AM
#11
Terry Rasner-Yacenda
Broker,Owner - Dreams Realty - Reno, NV
"Dreams Realty"

Hi Carin -- I just read one of the best business car and advertising tag lines at the end of your post: What's most important to me is that I continuously take care of my clients, first and foremost, right here, right now.   Go with this and you'll have all kinds of business!

Aug 02, 2008 04:15 PM
Carin Arrigo-Zimmer
TopBroker Network Real Estate - Orange, CA
TopBroker Network Real Estate

Hi Terry ~ Thanks so much for your response! Made my day. And thank you for reminding me of why I chose to do what I do.  That is what's most important to me, each and every day.

Aug 04, 2008 09:03 AM