It was the fall of 1981. I was 21 and college parties were the cool place to be. I lived in jeans, assorted shirts and nearly always shades. Shades made you cool - as did the cigarette that was inevitably burning between my fingers. In those days it was Kent that I smoked. More coolness from my American brand in a British college town.

A couple of years earlier it had been "Gauloise" - the French brand with the distinctive smell and the cigarette of choice for Jean-Paul Sartre and Pablo Picasso - and of course, Simon Conway. The fact that the first puff made you want to cough up a lung, was something you always had to hide from your friends if you wanted to maintain that air of total coolness.

I was working on newspapers, but most of my friends were in college. And then one night - as I arrived at a party - the distinctive sounds of Barclay James Harvest (look them up if you've never heard of them - BRILLIANT) - was replaced by the musical equivalent of a teacher scraping nails across a blackboard.

I speak of course of The Tweets - and the cure for all that was ever cool - The Birdie Song.

For the next 20 years this thing was played at every party; every wedding; every barmitzvah and every charity ball I ever attended. And once it plays, it sticks to you like the smell of Gauloise smoke on a damp coat. You can't get rid of it. Over and over and over again as it repeats it's jarring melody.

I have heard it has been used at Guantanamo Bay, but those in charge there were concerned it could be ruled "cruel and unusual" punishment.

And so this blog comes with a warning. Hit the play button below at your own risk. Do not come crying to me when your arms start flapping and your knees start bending. I'll be off somewhere else - being cool of course.


________________________________________________________________________________________________________


(Copyright © 2008 By Simon L Conway All Rights Reserved.)


Please give me a call if you have questions about the Central Florida real estate market. You can reach me on 407 876 8200. Also visit my web site at www.simonconway.net or www.move2orlando.net


 
Posted by Simon Conway on 06/28/2008 12:21 PM   Comments (21)   june song contest  
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21 Comments on You have to make it stop!!

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

JUN
28
2008

Wow,  I was teaching this to my grandkids about a week ago out on the driveway and people driving by were staring in disbelief.

 
12:33pm • #2
183,075 Points 13 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Ah the lighter side of our Simon :) Tried to buy Gauloises for my honey recently and they are now illegal here. I guess the tobacco is grown in Spain now and the French refuse to enforce the controls over the crop required by the US. It's a shame. I grew up with my grandmother smoking them and you're right about the smell - it never leaves you.

That's an awful freaking song!!!
12:35pm • #3
They play it at weddings, at sporting events, at kids parties, it's here forever. The macarena as well. -- aaaaaaaaa like gag me with a spoon.
12:39pm • #4
2 Featured Posts

Oh no!  Not that song again!  ............thanks for the post?
12:45pm • #5
597,457 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Simon,

Five comments already and no one knows it for what it is...the 'chicken' dance!!! LOL Thanks,   Fran
3:21pm • #6
404,039 Points 16 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Thanks for all the comments people. Hopefully I will win the trophy!!
4:08pm • #7
493,908 Points 75 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

I have a very high threshold of pain, this song is soothing to this particular beast.  Just don't ask me to dance to it:-)
4:16pm • #8
406,115 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog
Simon, They should play this song non-stop 24/7/365 at Guantamano Bay.... Really mees up them terrorists. Sean Allen
7:13pm • #9
399,140 Points Outside Blog

Man I hate the Chicken dance The Dj used to play it at  my restaurant until we told him one more time and we would never hire him again.
8:01pm • #10
JUN
29
2008
Simon, You want to win the "chicken dance" trophy? *lol* my Dad is the "King of the chicken dance" I'm sure it has always been just to embarrass his children. Thanks for the laugh. NJ
NJ Bosley
1:13am • #11
404,039 Points 16 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Sardi - I expect it to be played at your wedding and I want video proof that it was! Sean - my point exactly! Hugh - I can imagine NJ - nope - I want to win the song contest!
9:24am • #12
366,695 Points

The Chicken Dance rocks? Or does it quack? Something like that.
9:31am • #13
2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor

Simon,

Yikes! That does stick in your head.  Last week I let my 7-year old son browse the neigborhood garage sales with my exchange student. 15 minutes later he comes back with his new purchase: "Mummy Chicken".  When you press the button on its palm, it lights up, hops around and blasts this song. I hate it!  Hey, maybe I'll send it to you...
9:35am • #14
102,732 Points

I always thought that this was the Anglo racial anthem, don't get me wrong here, I am an Anglo.

Take care!

RJH
9:39am • #15
111,351 Points 1 Featured Post

Simon your "warning" was not strong enough to keep me from watching the video.  I am now scarred for live and will never forgive you! 

Hate that song! :-)
12:06pm • #16
JUN
30
2008
404,039 Points 16 Featured Posts Outside Blog
Sorry Brett, but a warning is a warning.
4:14pm • #17
100,660 Points

I was about to say it but someone already did. We call this the chicken dance. It's quite funny to watch people at my husband's christmas parties drunk doing this dance.
6:09pm • #18
JUL
01
2008
Simon, Ok. Well ya know I can really see you winning the trophy but of course in a really cool Bryan Adams T-shirt!!! *lol* NJ
NJ Bosley
1:05am • #19
315,667 Points 4 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Simon - If I had know it meant that much to you we could certainly have arranged a performance for your party a few weeks ago.

Life is just one lost opportunity after another.

Somebody said going to war without the French was like going duck hunting without an accordian.  It is all beginning to make sense to me now.
1:00pm • #20
JUL
02
2008
873,546 Points 167 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Simon - I actually heard this one on Monday night at the local minor-league baseball game, when we all did the Chicken Dance.  Truly awful, huh?  I think this particular version is one of the worst that I have heard, complete with bird whistle sounds.
10:17am • #21

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Simon Conway

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