Deleveraging really means to get your money out before it is worthless and invest what is left into a profitable investment.
Softening - means sales are not what they used to be.
Bottoming - means it is crashing.
Soft landing - means it is not your money at risk.
Recession -means technically you still have a job.
Depression - means don't believe the news, I've lost my job, home, etc...
Short sale - an opportunity for the banks to firm up a price, and if you wait until next month you can buy the same home for a lot less as a foreclosed home.
Staging -hiring someone to get the home more presentable and salable because you don't have what it takes to tell the seller yourself.
Feedback for sellers - getting another agent to do your dirty work.
Caravan - The blind leading the blind with a prepared route.
Agent Luncheons - Soup lines for Realtors.
Agent Bonus - inducements to sell over priced listings.
Buyer incentives - its way over priced.
Cozy - too small for words.
Cute - small but more expensive.
Quaint - small but way over priced.
Opportunity - means run from this deal, do not walk!
Needs TLC- Means it needs work, and I don't have money - no negotiation.
Handyman' special - needs work, and I'll be damned that we couldn't fix it.
Loft could be bedroom - if my aunt's chromosomes were different she could be my uncle.
Owner will consider all reasonable offers - don't hold your breath.
"Must close at...." - the fix is in!
Bring all offers - bring me anything, anyone...
Willing to negotiate - I've no other choice!
Historic Property - Don't expect too much, but you can brag to your snooty friends.
Well built home - no upgrades.
New Paint - camouflage
New Carpet - you'd never buy it if you saw the filth.
A lot of home for the money - it's in the middle of nowhere!
Loaded with upgrades - don't even think about anything less than full price.
Custom Built - to suit your tastes!
Convenient to All - It's near the road!
Great for commuting - It's on the road!
Home sold in "As Is" value in the land only - we think we're sitting on a gold mine.
Must See Inside - Wait...don't go...from the outside it looks like a total loser!
Mrs. Clean Lives Here! - Too bad Mr Clean has moved out!
Appointment Only - We're not really motivated, but we need some notice to clean up the filth.
Short Sale Subject to Approval... - The process isn't even started!
Possible Commercial Potential - This dump is way overpriced and you're not to bright if you buy it!
Priced Below Appraised Value - We know it won't sell for the price the appraiser gave us.
Priced Way Below Appraised Value - Neighborhood value is dropping faster than we can cut the price
Priced to sell - Really? If it was really is priced to sell and such a great value, then wouldn't it be obvious to anyone that knows the market and the neighborhood?
Won't be on the Market Long - See above
Best Value in <neighborhood name here> - See above
Jim - That is an interesting list and I before reading it I would have thought a few of those terms might have had different meaning. Most of these have entirely different meanings in our market. Have a great weekend!
LaNita Cates (REMAX of Joliet) LOL! We all need a laugh in thisbusiness! The funny thing is these are items I talk with my friends in real estate each day. Joking around really relieves a lot of stress.
This was Great! I hope the "public" doesn't think this way:) I will never write another ad without referring to this. I am using "cozy" right now in an ad and yup it's too small for words!
Funny but true Jim! There are still agents in my area using phrases such as, "Handyman's Special" & "Unfinished Basement--so buyer can finish to their liking!" My favorite is the agent who says, "Hurry! Won't Last Long!" and the home has been on the market three or more months. I think maybe they need to go back in and revise the remarks!
Jim, I am particularly fond of the Cute, Cozy, & Handyman's Special. I have to admit though there are times when those words are the only ones you can use. A "Fire Sale Special" or a "Knockdown Start Over" probably would not be a seller's choice description of their homes although it fits sometimes. I looked at one like that on Saturday. I have never seen such a horrid floor plan in my life. The front door went straight in to a galley kitchen with a tiny door at the other end. The upstairs looked like it was set up as a hotel, and the full basement - it was a tunnel! It was a knock down start over in a nice neighborhood. I wonder what people are thinking sometimes when I look at homes. Thanks for the fun post on a Monday morning.
One of the best posts I have read. Thanks for taking the time as we all can use some contemporaty humor. It helps to laugh in the face of adversity!!!!
There is a thing called Content Communication. That means when I ask my wife/client whoever a question....they give me what it really means. How many times have you asked a friend or wife..do you want to eat here and they say....sure. But what they really meant was sure but it sucks. lol Content communication. Say what it really means people. :)
Jim Crawford ~ Atlanta Real Estate-ABR E-PRO Atlanta, GA More about me…
RE/MAX Greater Atlanta
Office Phone: (770) 238-0122
Cell Phone: (770) 664-9516
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Atlanta real estate broker associate, real estate columnist for www.RealtyTimes.com, real estate speaker. Real estate marketing, Internet marketing for real estate, real estate coaching
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These are right on, Jim! I think I'll print out this post and hang it in my office!