3 Things You Should NOT Do In Carlsbad
With a Touch of Sarcasm
We often hear about things you should do in Carlsbad…for a variety of reasons. But we don’t hear about what you should not do. So here are the top 3 Don't Do's.
Number 1 – DON’T go shopping.
Why? Well, let me tell you.
There are so many different stores and places to shop in Carlsbad, in the Village and elsewhere, that it will drive you crazy trying to figure out where to go and what to buy. Problem is you head out to buy an item that you need, or perhaps someone actually wants a gift, and before you know it you’ve spent hours in multiple stores, bought all sorts of things you really didn’t plan to buy because of the great sales and the nice sales people, your arms ache from all the bags you are carrying, and you are feeling guilty as heck about the money you spent.
Or worse, you spend all that time window-shopping but don’t buy anything, so it’s just wasted time. Who cares if you walked 10,000 steps or more, and yes, you know you need the exercise. Your feet are tired, you’re hundreds of dollars in the red because you changed your mind and bought all kinds of things that you don't really need, and the whole process took far longer than you ever planned because of all the neat stores and cool stuff for sale, and the free parking so you didn't have to worry about a ticket, and...well, you know.
Just don’t go shopping in Carlsbad. Problem solved.
Number 2 – DON’T Dine out in Carlsbad
It doesn’t matter what meal, although dinner may be the worst offender.
But the shear volume of places to eat and types of food will drive you crazy. It’s impossible to sort through, especially when you are hungry and don’t have the patience to stand in line at one of the hot spots in town that has terrific food where you could have gone if you had planned ahead and made a reservation but you didn’t because you were lazy and now you’re grumpy because you really wanted to eat there but it’s too crowded and you don’t want to stand around for 15 minutes twiddling your thumbs waiting for a table while your stomach growls and everyone is looking at you.
And your feet are still tired from all that time you spent shopping which you knew you shouldn’t have done (I told you so!).
And who wants to wait at the bar for a table and risk being annoyed by everyone else who is waiting for a table, having drinks, laughing and having a good time, and you know they will get seated before you do and that will ruin your already cranky mood as you sit there nursing some trendy expensive cocktail created by the bartender because you couldn’t decide what to have.
Not only are there the old standbys that have been around for years but they keep adding new restaurants to the mix that make the decision making that much harder. I'm not naming names to protect the not-so-innocent.
And of course someone you are with will want to know what kind of food you are in the mood for (what kind of an idiotic question is that?), and you don’t really know, and you don’t want to think about it nor have an intellectual discussion about the trendy new possibilities because you essentially don’t care, and maybe it would have been better to have stayed home and just eaten leftovers that have been in the fridge for at least a week, saved some money, served yourself, and then did your own dishes instead of stressing over where to eat.
It’s clear dining in Carlsbad raises too many questions and forces you to make a lot of decisions. It makes your brain ache. What type of food? Inexpensive or whole hog? A place you have eaten at numerous times or something new and adventuresome? Dining indoors or out? Heat lamp on or off? Booth or high-top table? Take-out or dine in? Start with an appetizer or not? And do you want that first or with your dinner? Wine with dinner? Red or white? How do you want that cooked, rare or well-done? Soup or salad? French fires or mashed potatoes? Do you want to add protein? Would you like dessert? (how dumb, of COURSE you want dessert!) And the big one before you even get to sit…do you have a reservation?
The questions are endless. Just stay home, pop a frozen dinner in the oven and forget about making eating decisions. Done and done.
And Number 3 – DON’T go to the beach
Just don’t! For those of you who detest the beach you needn’t read further…I’m sorta preaching to that choir, so don’t waste your time reading.
Carlsbad’s 7 miles of beach, bluffs, and ocean will drive you nuts. Not to mention all the decisions to make about what to do if you ignore my sage advice and head to the beach anyway, along with tons of other people scrambling for parking.
Unless you enjoy surfing, boogie boarding, swimming, stand-up paddle boarding and windsurfing, if you prefer your feed on terra firma (well, sand firma) you’ll be “board” stiff.
Imagine sitting in the sun, on the sand, in a folding chair you had to carry a ½ mile from where you parked or lying on the beach on a sandy towel, staring mindlessly at the ocean and the clouds overhead, watching people walking by, hoping for a glimpse of dolphins and of course never seeing the buggers, and trying to avoid the marauding seagulls who will try to take ANY food item they spot on your blanket as soon as you vacate your spot to stick your big toe in the freezing ocean, and hoping the pelicans flying overhead don’t poop on your head.
Then there are those who think throwing a bit of food on the beach is fun, when thousands of seagulls descend in an instant, in Alfred Hitchcock-esque style. Now that’s a pleasant sign...and boy are they noisy!
They say it’s relaxing at the beach. Trust me, relaxation is over-rated! What could possibly be relaxing about watching wave after wave after wave roll in, while people throw Frisbees and balls back and forth, fly kites, play that idiotic beach volley ball game or try to create weird creations using shovels, buckets and wet sand, with sea birds running along the water’s edge looking for something to devour, while you sit there half asleep trying to read some lousy best-selling book or just being a slug instead of working or trying to see the screen on your phone but you can't because of the glaring sun. Who really needs to relax, decompress, have fun and do nothing…and be bored senseless all at the same time?!
They say "life is a beach." Hah. Not in Carlsbad.
If I can help with any other tips about what not to do in Carlsbad, just give me a call. I’m pretty good at not following my own advice, and going shopping, dining out, and hitting the beach now and then to relax!
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