Life is hard but when you fall down, pick yourself up and say, "Who the hell pushed me?"
Some days I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I'm talking on it.
I'd like to thank whoever told my mom that WTF means "wow that's fantastic." Her texts are so much more fun now.
Ignorance can be educated and crazy can be medicated but there's no cure for stupid.
Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.
I don't know why men go to bars to try and meet women. Go to Target. The female to male ratio is like 10 to 1 and they are already looking for crap they don't need.
Hope these funny words allowed you to have some fun, and now feel free to go back to worrying about the price of gasoline
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