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Do you listen or prepare to respond?

By
Real Estate Agent with Wayne M Martin

Back in February of 2012 my pondering had me posting the following:

Do you really listen to what is being said? Do you find yourself anticipating what you think is being said and then, instead of listening to the speaker your mind engages in thought of a reponse? It is a problem we all experience from time to time and must make a conscious effort to listen, really pay attention and listen.

When you find yourself beginning to formulate a response instead of listening, remember this: "Once you start thinking about how you are going to respond, you will inevitably miss the rest of their message."

It was a great thought then and a great thought now. How do I measurer my progress in the years in between. Honestly, maybe a "C". I started out doing well but then drifted back toward the bad habit of thinking about a response. Over the years I had good times when I truly listened but not nearly enough.

Now retired, I am determined to pay more attention to listening to it all, pause to compose my answer, and then respond. I am hoping that my next grade can be an "A-"! We'll see. Enjoy your day.  

Comments (13)

Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

This is so so important both in business and our personal life. Thankfully I learned early on how to effectively listen as one of my undergraduates was in Communications.  And it was a 'given' that we truly were listening and could feed back what we were hearing and ask questions.  Back then, at first, I thought it was kind of a  wuss class but I changed my mind within a week or so.  That professor got us so involved in really listening.  So glad you brought this post back around Wayne!

Feb 16, 2023 03:22 PM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hello Wayne - this is quite an important lesson.  And it's an ongoing one for me.  I am not sure I will ever master it but I intend to keep improving.  That's my goal.  

Feb 16, 2023 04:13 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Well done, Wayne...true when you wrote this and even more so now.  I can tell when I'm speaking with someone who is formulating what they will say next. True listening is an  art. 

Feb 16, 2023 06:59 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Wayne I not only listen but watch eye and facial reactions to see what is going on... and oh boy it helps, Endre

Feb 16, 2023 10:30 PM
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836

Hmmm ~  In rereading your post, I can see the error of my ways in a couple recent conversations. Yah, guess I was formulating my thoughts and responses when I should really have been giving full attention to the one speaking.  Probably where the conversation went off-track and I did not get the positive outcome I was aiming for.

Feb 17, 2023 12:58 AM
Roy Kelley
Retired - Gaithersburg, MD

This is good advice to recall and to share.

My listening skills still need some work.

Feb 17, 2023 06:48 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Wayne, I have to admit that when seeing someone after a long time, the tendency is to get excited and want to participate more in the conversation for the sake of catching up quickly. I have learned to settle down and mentally zip the lips!

Feb 17, 2023 09:52 AM
Ray Henson
eXp Realty of California, Inc. (lic. #01878277) - Elk Grove, CA
Realtor

Generally, people enjoy talking, so I listen.  It works well for me, since I am not much of a talker.  

Feb 17, 2023 10:02 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT
St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

More than ever, listening to what someone else says, instead of talking over them is so very important. For some people, I wish there was a class to pass before going into business! Your post has been featured in BananaTude, Wayne Martin, congrats!

 Featured in Bananatude

Feb 17, 2023 10:13 AM
Barbara Michaluk
Weichert Realtors | Phone Direct 240-506-2434 | 301-681-0550 office - Silver Spring, MD
Leisure World Specialist / Full Service REALTOR

This is very interesting to consider when speaking or listening to someone. Best to focus on what the person is saying rather than formulating the response.  We all need to strive to be in the present moment and provide full attention to the person who is expressing their view.

Feb 18, 2023 05:25 AM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

This is such an important skill to learn. This is why God gave us two ears and one mouth.

Feb 18, 2023 03:31 PM
Dorte Engel
RE/MAX Leading Edge - Bowie, MD
ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland

Dear Wayne,

Great advice. Maybe going to a comfortable space can help. If you are standing at the door with one arm in your coat sleeve may not be the best situation for carefully listening.

Feb 21, 2023 07:53 AM
Bill Dean
Haggerty Team St. Louis, Mo. - Fenton, MO
William Dean - Broker, Salesperson

A very crucial lesson that I learned much later in life than I care to admit but once I did recognize it I like to think I did improve!

May 10, 2023 10:16 PM