If you understand the process of exactly what it means to negotiate effectively, you can improve your performance at the bargaining table immensely. If you are committed to getting what you want in life, you can become an expert negotiator by mastering the basic strategies and tactics that work in all kinds of negotiations, Most of us don't think of ourselves as negotiators, certainly not as professional negotiators. When we think of professional negotiators, we visualize hard-charging corporate raiders who launch attacks on businesses, or diplomats meeting to determine the fates of nations, or lawyers settling million-dollar lawsuits.

Effective negotiating has a great deal to do with attitude. If you approach negotiating as a win-or-lose battle, you'll struggle Against the people you're negotiating with. You'll waste a lot of Time and energy defending positions and trying to sneak something past your negotiating counterparts. When all is said and done, you will likely end up with less than if you had treated the negotiation as an opportunity for everyone involved to profit. It's not unusual for negotiations to break down because the people on either side of the bargaining table get so caught up in the issues that they forget they're dealing with human beings. They lose sight of the fears, feelings, and desires other people bring with them to negotiations. All they can see is their own position, and they start to view others involved in the negotiations as obstacles, maybe even enemies. No matter what's happening at the bargaining table, the real pros at negotiating always focus on the people involved, because then they can go beyond positions. When you focus on people, you build a sense of trust among the people involved in the negotiation. You can start to talk about what they really want and the most effective way to respond to their needs. That is the core of effective negotiation.

Being able to identify a person's real personality by studying the face he or she presents is a valuable skill in negotiating. When you understand what motivates that person, you can predict his or her reactions to your words and actions.

Emerson wrote:

A man passes for what he's worth. What he is engraves itself on his face, on his form, on his fortunes, in letter of light. Concealment avails him nothing, boasting nothing.

In other words, people can't keep their real selves hidden forever. Observe the individuals facing you from the other side of the issues, and you will learn a great deal about them and their negotiation style. Listen to their words, and listen for their meanings. This is an effective method for discovering what your negotiating counterparts really want.

Maintain a positive attitude toward the negotiations.-Expect negotiations to proceed amicably, ethically, and in a direction that is acceptable to everyone involved. Even if you sense someone is trying to manipulate you, maintain your standards. Now, that doesn't mean that you allow manipulators and hard ballers to take advantage of you. But don't drop down to their level.  

A critical element of any negotiation is the relative perceptions of value among the people involved in the process. You've probably heard the phrase "The seller may set the price, but it is ultimately the buyer who determines the value." In other words, a sale can take place only when the value to the buyer becomes greater than the price of the seller. What does this mean in the negotiation process? Primarily, it means that the value of what you have to offer depends on the perceptions of the person you're negotiating with. Say you're trying to sell your house. Now, in your mind, one of the selling points of the house is its close proximity to the city's business district. You have only a 25-minute commute every morning and afternoon. A looker seems interested, but he tells you, "I like the size of the house, but I was really looking for something a little more secluded." The house's location has no value to the buyer, no matter how important it was to you as a resident. Remember that values are never objective. As with the person looking at the house, a person's needs, experiences, and tastes will determine the value he or she places on an item or term. What does all this mean to you as a negotiator? Keep in mind that the most effective negotiators are those who best understand how to deal with the value perceptions of all the people involved. Recognize that the people you're negotiating with may not value the same things you do and they may reject your  definition of value. Once you understand this, you can learn to determine the value perceptions of the people you're negotiating with and respond to those values. The seller of the house, for example, could stress that although the house is not very secluded, it is on a 1.5-acre lot in an established neighborhood. Anyone living there won't have to worry about a developer buying up land around the house and building a shopping mall or industrial park in his or her backyard. Effective negotiators focus on creating value (and perceptions of value) for both sides in the bargaining process. There you have it: the expanded version of the one-sentence definition of effective negotiation. The bottom line is, if you can get together with the people you're negotiating with and arrange agreements that meet everyone's needs as they perceive them, you are negotiating effectively.

To Your Success

Dawn Marie White

Broker-Sales Manager

Crossroads Realty Inc

732-528-6800 Office

732-581-9414 Cell

dawnwhite@comcast.net