I recently wrote a blog post titled "Real Estate Housing Market Hits a New Low? Yikes!" That post was referencing the sotry about the woman who was offering her hand in marriage along with the sale of her house. I guess there's a reason for the old saying "desperate means call for desperate measures".

In my comments I was told that someone else had posted a blog about this story also. That's no surprise. We all have access to the same information. And I've seen mixed comments about this woman who was so desperate to get married and to sell her house, that she decided to offer both in one "sale". She's selling herself! Think about that!

Now before I ask the next question, I'll go ahead and reference the old days when a woman's hand in marriage came with a dowry, and that marriages are "arranged" in other countries. So aside from those instances, in todays time, place and culture, since when is the act of marriage about a sale? (Unless you're a gold-digger.)

There were mixed comments on my blog post and I really don't want to draw attention to anyone in particular, since most of you know that I believe in the biblical Proverb that says "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." (This does not only apply to "close friends". The bottom line is about gossip and spreading rumors.) With that being said, I'm going to have to choose my words carefully.

When I wrote my post, I was focused on how bad the housing market has become. But I'm now thinking about the desperation of that woman; not to sell her house, but to get married. How can someone have so little self esteem they they would defile the sanctity of marriage just to sell a house? Let me guess. Did her thoughts go something like this? " I really need to sell this house but I can't afford to reduce the price anymore, so how about if I throw in the washer and dryer, the hot tub... oh, and ME!"

I've run across many women that have displayed this level of desperation. They're the ones who will let a man walk all over them, isolate them, control them, beat them, belittle them, call them disparaging names, harm their children, etc. These women will constantly complain about their circumstances, yet never do anything to change them. And when you try to help these women, they first act appreciative, but then they run right back to their abuser(s). Eventually, they turn on the very people who try to help them; often because the abuser will not allow his "property" (the woman) to associate with anyone who might build her self esteem. And before you say it, yes I've met a few men who were pretty pitiful too. But in my own experiences, it's mostly women. I used to feel sorry for them, but you can't help people who are unwilling to help themselves. I hate to say it, but now I'm pretty much disgusted by their weakness and won't even get involved. (Unless God gives me the grace to do so and really pushes me in that direction.)

Now I don't know this woman personally, so I can't say that she is of the nature that I just described. But in reading her story, that's what I see. And if she actually gets what she's advertising, she's likely to get a lot more than she bargained for. She's going to get a man who is as desperate as she is. Unfortunately, the MEN who are attracted to the types of women I described above, will almost always fall into the following categories... controlling, abusive, manipulative, and insecure. They're the ones who will keep the aformentioned women from ever developing enough self esteem to find their way into a healthy relationship.

So before you think this woman is being creative, clever, imaginative, or opening up a new line of thinking, (God help us.) try looking beneath the surface of this story and consider the fact that this woman's "offer" is an example of just one more avenue being used to chip away at the sanctity of marriage. It's my guess that any man and woman who have been married long enough to have weathered the storms of life, and still love and respect one another after seeing each other at their worst, are going to find this woman's offer either offensive or at best, they'll be saddened at what they're seeing.

And we wonder why people in other countries show so much disdain for Americans.