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We Always Hear The Young Are Our Future But Seldom Treat Them Like It.

We Always Hear The Young Are Our Future But Seldom Treat Them Like It.

I have son Corey who is currently 20 years old and a penniless 2^nd year college student. He is one of those fortunate young people who have always easily fitted in; he loves children, doesn’t hesitate to speak to adults and senior citizens and is commonly very well liked by all. Corey has a very easy going personality and very seldom gets ruffled or angry….actually I can’t remember the last time he was.

Corey came home from the bank in what I would categorize as a more than upset mood. Apparently he had over drawn on this debit account by seven dollars. In his explanation of what had happened he stated he had been given two overdrawn charges and felt very strongly he should only have received one. I won’t get into all the detail for it was pretty lengthy so let’s just suffice it to say that he agreed with the first charge however was totally in opposition to the second. Oh, by the way…the total of these two overdraft charges was $75.00 which as we all know, is a w..h..o..l..e lot of money for a college student.

Corey had spoken to the “tellers boss” who he stated was not in the least nice, wouldn’t let him finish a sentence and felt treated him very rudely. Corey left feeling he had no recourse but to accept that he was out the $75.00 (for they had already taken it out of his savings account to pay for the overdraft) and was now left with only $21.00 remaining. He vowed to take his $21.00, go to another bank that did not charge overdraft charges that some of his college buddies currently go too.

In thinking this over a little bit it struck me that Corey really has more power than he is aware of…..for as we all often hear….CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. I decided to give my son some unsolicited advice, which we moms often do as this I felt was a huge opportunity for a learning experience. I let him know that he actually does have more power than he knows since CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE. If he simply decides to take his money then go some where else he would be doing himself a huge disservice. I made him aware he deserved be heard, the bank cannot help if you do not speak up and the tellers boss is not where it should stop. I directed him to calm down, get his thoughts in order then stop into the bank and request to speak with the Bank Manager (no one else) dress well, be prepared to present his case in a calm and respectful manner. Make the Bank Manager aware of what had transpired in regards to his account, the teller boss and that he felt he had been treated unjustly. Be very up front and let the manager know that you are a poor college student that has no money, you work, volunteer 3 days a week for an after school inner city children’s program along with coaching two youth soccer teams. Kindly remind him that although you may be a poor college student now you will also be the young man who in another 5-10 years will no longer be poor, will have a career, be looking to buy a house and into investments for your future.

Owl

Now, the Bank Manager has the opportunity to both assist and remedy the situation or to send Corey packing.

I must say I have a very hard time believing that any Bank Manager would let a future investor in his bank simply walk out over a measly $37.50.

What are your thoughts?? If our children are truly our future why are they not treated and respected as such!

Corey will be going to the bank and present his case in the next day or so…I will keep you posted with the outcome.

Wish him luck!!

Therese

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All content is original, courtesy of Therese VanderMeer - Realtor - FlexIt Realty

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Therese is selling and marketing properties in the Greater Grand Rapids, MI Area and surrounding communities while specializing in Jenison, Hudsonville and Grandville.

Contact Therese directly at 616-780-0786 or by email at tvmhomes@sbcglobal.net

Happy to be Providing Buyers and Sellers a Higher Standard of Personalized Service

Posted by Therese VanderMeer - Realtor - FlexIt Realty on 03/16/2007 07:53 PM

Comments (62)

62 Comments on We Always Hear The Young Are Our Future But Seldom Treat Them Like It.

MAR

2007

Your story makes an excellent point. People need to take young people seriously and respect them as adults. The potential earning that bank may have on your son could be huge. I would love to hear what happens. Did he go back?

Thanks Link,

I am so interested in what other people think of this, I will be stunned the Bank Manager does not do something to help remedy this. It will be interesting to see what the outcome is...he may have stopped in this afternoon if not he will tomorrow. Corey has a very hectic schedule which I even have a hard time keeping up with!

All the best,

Your story hits me very close to home being a young Realtor. I started in the business at age 23 and found that many people did not trust me as much as my much older associates. Even now at age 29 (still barely look 21-22) I still find this as an obstacle. So I empathise with your son and wish him luck.

Ethan, Being a parent I see it all the time especially for young boys /men...often they are viewed as trouble makers which is just so sad to me. It seems many people forget what it was like when they were young or maybe....they remember too much!

Thanks for the good wishes.

Therese, my 19 year old, 2nd year college student (paying his own way) just had something similar happen. Similar in that he had an overdraft and they charged him 3 times and told him by the time he got paid the next day there could be more charges. My son called me and asked what to do. The overdraft charges were almost $100!

I advised him to come home, he lives in Appleton and I live about 30 minutes away. The next day he should go in and talk to the branch manager. You see, I had my son go to a large chain bank (Associated Bank) so that he could go anywhere and be able to bank, BUT I had him open his account in a small community, where they still remember that you are a person and recognize you.

The next day he went into the bank and talked to the branch manager, who is the same person that set up his original account. They removed all the charges except the first one and helped set him up with a program that would protect him if he were to have another "accident".

The moral of the story...know and trust the people you set your major life assests with. From your retirement fund, bank account, mortgage lender to your REAL ESTATE Agent. :)

I will be checking back to see how your son does, good luck!

Hi Theresa: Wow lot of similarities...When Corey first opened this account in 1995 (8yrs old) this bank was a small town bank, that is until the large national bank came in and took over! Corey also mentioned he had tried to get "overdraft protection" but he had to have a bank charge card which he did not want at the time (sees to many friends in trouble from charge cards).

Thanks so much for sending along your experience, I plan on having Corey read the responses I receive, they will hopefully make him feel a little better and offer some knowledge for future dealings with banks.

Thanks Again!

Therese,

Great advice. It is this type of advice and thinking that is what all top producing real estate agents do. It is what sets us apart from the massess. Those folks that would pefer to wallow in their sorrow without working on a soulution.

The excercise for your Son Corey will be an extremely important lesson in life. Lose Win or Draw the Lesson will be of great value.

I just received a haircut at a haircutter's in a local stripmall. While I was getting my haircut, a young man came in and was noticeably unsure of what to do next. He appeared to be about 13 or 14. All of the stylists were busy with customers. 3 minutes later, a woman in her forties came in. The stylist closest to the front desk immediately said "Welcome, can I help you?" The stylist not only ignored the young man for three minutes, she allowed an older customer to cut in front of him. Not surprisingly, the young man walked out. I'll bet he walked out, not in protest but embarrassment which is sad, because it is the stylist who should have been embarrassed.

Therese-I can't agree with you more! I have been getting messages from my son's friends thanking me for help I have given them throughout life. We should never give up on our future!! I know our future isn't perfect right now, that's why we are all here to help them and guide them so everyone's future looks bright.

Hopefully the bank manager will remember when he was 21 years old maybe just maybe someone in his life at that age gave him a break! As far as Corey, what a smart young man, welcome to being an adult, your mom did good. I wish you luck Corey and I hope to hear an update!!!! Thanks for sharing this great post with us.

Herb: Thanks so much for the endorsement it means more than you know! I couldn't be prouder of Corey for he wants to handle this on his own and I'm sure he will.

David: This is exactly the type of situation I am talking about! How defeating and embarrassing for that young boy...when will businesses learn??

Thanks much!

Midori: I must say if this Bank Manager does not do something to remedy this situation I will be stunned! This bank manager would essentially be losing a future client over $37.50. Doesn't strike me as being to business savvy!

Thanks so much for the kudos to Corey....he will be reading this and I'm sure will appreciate your kind words!

Hi Therese,

You sound like a great mom, good for you. All too many times some parents would just jump in and try to handle it themselves, however the lesson would be lost at that point.

And wow, $75.00 for bank fees, I had no idea they were even close to that!

Thanks Linda: The $75.00 fee stunned me also...this is about 2 weeks pay for Corey! With the time he spends volunteering 3 times a week and coaching two youth soccer teams he is not able to put in a whole lot of hours for work.

And you're right....it is hard to step back sometimes but then how would they learn if they never are able to handle the experience?

Thanks Much!

Banks are doing this on purpose to make money:

"Data from regulators show that banks, thrifts and credit unions collected a record $37.8 billion in service charges in 2004, more than double what they took in 10 years earlier."

from this article: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05310/601084.stm

Overdraft charges have become a key part of bank revenue. I haven't had an overdraft in several years but still remember the $2 debit that cost me $27 once I had to pay the overdraft. I asked the bank why they didn't just decline the debit and they had no good answer.

Rita

Rita: Things that make you go Hmmm....Hmmm....It is amazing isn't it?? I have never overdrawn so was totally taken aback by what had happened to my son. I'm sure he has learned a lesson albeit a very costly one for him!

Thanks for the info..I'm sure he will love this one!

Herb is right. Your son is learning a lesson, not in college books, that he can apply to many challenges in his life. He's going to be fine.

MAR

2007

Therese I hope Corey will be successful with the bank manager. A few years ago my children bank started charging them monthly fees on their saving account because they did not maintain a certain balance. So they closed out the accounts went to the credit union and would never use that bank again. Now my daughter will be looking to buy a house in the near future and you can bet this bank will not be in consideration for her business. Yes we really need to treat our young ones better and sooner.

I totally side with you and your son. But I'm going with the bank on this one. Not because I agree with them but because I know from experience the bank really won't care. Banks are a very powerful lobbying force in America and have gotten laws passed to cover the pettiest of things against the consumer. Example; A few years ago I had a car loan through Bank of America. I had an accident and was sent a check made out to the bank and myself. It was for enough to pay off the loan and walk away with a considerable amount of money in my pocket. So I went to the bank to sign over my portion of the check and pay off my loan and walk out with my money. The bank refused to give me my money unless I opened an account with them. I was stunned that they would hold me hostage like that! The fact they would strong arm me like that infuriated me and I demanded to see the manager. Of course they made me sit and wait a long time. He tried to stand firm on the banks position until I told him Hell would freeze over before I signed the check over and before I paid another dime on the loan. Bottom line they handed me my money and I left and will never never open any kind of account at BAC. However they are ll the same. You can't win.

As a former Bank manager of several different Banks, I agree with you, it is up the the Manager to take care of this situation. I would have taked to your son and made sure he did get an apology from me for my rude and crude supervisor of the teller. I too have a thing about over draft situations, seems I and my wife started a checking account and was told if we over draft the money to cover the amount would be taken out of our savings. No problem here with that. Until, it happened, you see the Manager did not tell us there would be a transfer fee, for covering the amount. I was livid. I told the Manager either he reverses the charges or we would go elsewhere to a Bank that does not charge this fee. I was really upset, they did reverse the fees. It still gripes me, and someday I will go elsewhere. I hope your son learns something from this in our business world. He can make a difference. He will make a difference, as he will be the leader of our country someday, either in business, or in casting his vote at election time. Keep going Mom, you doing fine.

I wish your son the best of luck and hope that the bank manager makes the right decision. You point made me think of something that has bothered me for a while. Being the mother of a six year old, I think it is important to teach by example. I can't tell you how many times I hear and see adults treating children with no respect. It drives me crazy. What example are you setting and why would you expect your children to act differently and respect you???

Therese, very nice post and well written. I wrote a post recently called "He was more than a Mentor, He was my friend". In that post I wrote about my mentor that took my under his wing when I was starting out my real estate career. I don't know where I would be without Bob today. We really don't have to know someone to be a Mentor and be kind to them. In my opinion this is the Christian thing to do. If we want our children to have faith in society lets treat everyone with upmost love and respect. It will come back to us ten fold. Have a great day my friend.

I always instill in my children that they themselves need to speak up, If necessary I will fight the battle for them, but it is excellent preparation for the future. Remember, even without Coreys future income potential he is a referral source (or not) for that bank. Would you bank there considering how he was treated? It's not just the future the bank needs to watch out for. The bad press starts immediately!!!

Good luck to Cory!

I also know how it feels. I started in real estate when I was in my early 20's, looking all of about 16 or so. It was difficult and I'd always get the question, "So how long have you been in real estate?" with a look that indicated they surely thought I was going to say, "since yesterday!"

Now I'm in my early 30's with lots of experience under my belt and I still get a shocked look when I say I've been a Realtor for nearly a decade! It used to make me nervous, but now I just let my experience and skills make up for looking younger. =)

I would have told him the same thing. In fact, had I been him, I would have done so. I am easy going but if there's something that is done wrong, it will not be allowed to slip by. I'd wish him luck but he doesn't need it because he's right.

Wow!! I am so thrilled with the responses, words of encouragement and support Corey has been receiving....of course it is always nice to hear I'm doing a good job as a mom! It's quite easily the hardest job Ive ever had but definitely the most rewarding! :)

Thanks everyone!

Therese, Congratulations on a Featured Post! This was excellent & very well written. We are all poised to hear what will happen with Corey. Perhaps, the Bank Manager might be interested to know that the whole world (WWW) is following how he is going to treat this young man & if he's going to make a decision worthy of a savvy financial officer with reference to $37.50! Now that's power! It's unfortunate that in business we miss this important lesson all the time. By making mountains out of proverbial molehills, we miss the ability to see promise and opportunities. I'm so glad you're a Mom who is training Corey by wisdom & example. You Go Girl!

Herb: Thank you, I have always been a firm believer you learn by your own experiences and must take responsibility for you own actions. He is a great kid and will go far in life I'm sure of it!

All the Best!

Wayne: Great to hear from you! I'm confident this experience will prove to be of great value to Corey in his future dealings with "the system." We all have to learn sometime! :)

Thanks!

Jennifer: Thank you for sharing...What I'm not sure these banks understand is that they invest all this time in children as they begin to save all their pennies, nickels and dimes and just as they begin to push at the door of becoming an investor ie: college student they begin to be treated as if they are not an asset to the bank. What are they thinking??!! What a waste of all this time....this is the only bank Corey has ever known and he would probably have stayed with them forever! Now we will wait and see.

Hello Danny: I have to sorrily admit you are more than likely right...the bank won't care however: there is always hope that this Bank Manager may see the light! Your experience even made me get the proverbial pit in the stomach...Banks have much too much power with our money it is not theirs!

Great to hear you stood your ground and WON...maybe there is hope for Corey after all!

Hello Bob: Great to hear from a former Bank Manager! It will be interesting to see how they handle a college student as compared to an adult...you won the day in your situation...will Corey?? My hope seems to be fading just a bit. Either way he will walk away a winner for even if he does not prevail he will feel much better for standing his ground and making the effort on his own behalf! I believe it speaks quite highly to his character for him to even go back and talk with a Bank Manager...could be quite intimidating for a 20 yr old!

Heather: Thanks for the good luck Corey needs all he can get! People unfortunately continue to forget you get respect by giving respect don't they?? Then..... they don't understand and complain of how rude children are these days. Things that make you go Hmmmmmmm.

Thanks much!

George: Thank you! I look forward to going back and reading your post "He Was More Than My Mentor He Was My Friend" how fortunate you were to have such a mentor and even more your understanding and appreciation for it!

All the Best!

Chris: You are so right! Corey is already telling his College friends what a horrible bank this is. Not only are they losing out on his income potential but many others....word of mouth travels fast and is most often listened to and believed!

Thanks!

Michael: Experience does ultimately have a huge pay off doesn't it?? Although this experience may now be both painful and frustrating for Corey it will also eventually prove to have a big pay off for him in his future!

Thanks Much!

Christy: Thanks for the support! As I mentioned in my post Corey is very easy going but also can only be pushed so far. I'm glad he is taking this opportunity to stand his ground. As I mentioned earlier as far as I'm concerned he comes out the winner...the bank.... the loser!

Have a great day!

Lola: Thanks so Much! :) I will be sure to let everyone know what the outcome is. It will be very interesting to see how "business Savvy" this Bank Manager is!

Thanks for the support it's truly appreciated!

Therese,

Great post and I agree with you. I used to work with a credit card company and the sad truth is they only see the money now. I would advise your son if the nice approach doesn't work, to say that you have one potential life long customer that you could keep for $37.50 or you can spend $3000 to get a new customer. That is the average amount of money a bank spends to get a new customer. (That was in 1995) I don't know what it is now.

I agree the small town community banks or a credit union are the way to go. Small town banks still do banking with heart and credit unions are member owned (Lower fees also) So if the bank does what I think they are going to do. I suggest switch to a credit union, most credit union work together and can be used like a big bank. All their ATM's are linked.

Best of luck to your son, buy you are doing the right thing by having him do it, instead of you doing it for him. That is one of the biggest mistakes I see parents do today.

As someone who has done Big Brothers / Big Sisters and Junior Achievment, I do realize that our children are our future and we are not that bad off. We only see the bad ones on TV we never hear about the 98% of great kids out there.

Todd

Businesses need to think long term and realize that small things can make a hugh impact on their bottom line. Sure $37.50 is not a lot of money, but the bad publicity, future wealth of your son & his buying power could have a hugh effect. Having children myself, I have learned that there is a hugh network of young adults who "network" & have an impact, the businesses don't even know about.

I live in South Florida & have experienced a few hurricanes. Some disasterous & other mild inconveniences. Through my children, I knew which gas stations would have gas, the date & time of deliverly (so I didn't have to wait in 2 mile lines and maybe arrive at the tank & it would be empty). when deliveries were being made to my favorite grocery store & what was being delivered ( meats, water, milk, etc),

Which restaurants were able to serve some food, which locations were inpassable, if traffic lights had been install on major roads.

I began to realize that it isn't only business people that have a wonderful network, the "kids" are connected with networking, too. It may be because they are helping each get through a horrible situation - but I learned that it is a powerful network & deserved to be noticed & respected. Your son's bank has no idea, how the network that your son is a part of, will affect them and further more, they may not even care. Which is sad.

I wish your son success!

Todd: That is very interesting...I knew of course the bank had money and 12 years already invested in Corey however was not aware of the average $3000 (in 1999 I'm sure is much more today) expense for each new customer. It seems obvious to me.....it would certainly be to their advantage to smarten up! Is smarten a word?? :)

It is nice to hear that there are people out there who are aware that the vast majority of kids are good kids, they simply get a bad wrap just because their kids! Seems foolish to me!

Have a great day!

Elaine: I am aware of the networking kids are involved in but never realized the degree of helpfulness it could ultimately prove to be for us....ADULTS! Wow that is truly wonderful...what a great story and thanks for sharing!

Our kids day will come. :)

Therese...

If you know anything at all about me then you know I try very hard to comment with originality. I have posted that video on your blog post for several reasons. One, I used this song as a guideline while I raised my twin boys who are now going on 31. Secondly, after reading your post and the comments I found myself humming this song. If you're offended by a video on your post, I will not be offended if you want to delete. Thanks for the well thought out and well written post. I likes it :)

TLW...ROAR!

Hi Lovely Wife of Broker Bryant!

Loved the Video...now I'm humming it!! :)

Great Post and a Featured Post to boot! GREAT JOB!!!!

Ahhh. So glad you liked it. I have been humming that since I read your post.

For the record you can call me TLW or Billie. Either one is much easier to type :)

Ed: Thanks so much!! :)

Got it! Thanks TLW!! :)

Hi Therese,

Sometimes I think that "customer service" no longer exists. In the past, my husband and I had kept a separate checking account to keep track of all of our investing finances on rental and investment property. During a period that we didn't have any properites and the account and held a minimum balance... the bank actually over-drafted our account to charge us a fee for inactivity!!!

Can you believe that?! I quickly had the charges reversed after explaining how absurd it was... and I immediately closed our account!

I believe it happens... and I believe it's definitely in the banks best interest to reverse the charges.

I think they most likely will. Keep us posted as to what happens... and good luck to Corey!

sorry Therese... that last comment was from me.

Julie...Thanks for stopping by...I can't believe the stories I am hearing and everything the Banks seem to think they can get away with!! The scary thing is is that probably more often than not they do. I will be sure to get back with the outcome.

MAR

2007

Therese, didn't even realize you were a fellow Gander when I replied to your blog. I am, of course, a misplaced Gander, and probably as close to a native Texan as you can get without being born here. Spent the first 18 years in MI and then migrated.

My oldest is 23 now and is now earning quite a bit comparatively. The bank that treated him right in the first place has gained his loyalty. He's soon to get married and within the next year will buy a home. Just a few months ago he was a poor college student....

Amazing how fast they grow, wonder if the bank manager knows????

Chris: It is so......amazing how fast they grow! I keep trying to freeze them and they won't let me. I have no doubt Corey has a very bright future ahead of him and I am so proud.

It just makes your heart swell when you witness your children being successful in life and making their own way doesn't it? (oops...the mommy in me just came out again) :)

Therese,

That was a wonderful post. I believe you have to teach children to find their voices and start to stand up for themselves when they believe they are right, even if it's against an "authority" figure.....not something I USED to teach them when they were younger. Now they need to stand their ground and defend themselves when they believe they are right. Wonderful advice you gave to Corey and something he'll always remember.

Carole: Thank you Carole. I couldn't agree with you more as long as it is done with respect. :)

Therese, thank you for this post, I just wrote two blogs along the same lines. I actually mentioned this post in my blog, Generation Y, Part 2. Thanks again, and best of luck to your son, I hope everything works out for him.

Thanks for a really thoughtful post. One of the things that comes to mind as I read this post is remembering to treat everyone with kindness and respect be they young or old.

Kristy: Thank you and thanks for the mention...I will be stopping by your blog. :)

Irene: Thank you... a little kindness and respect do go a long way for everyone.

MAR

2007

Hi everyone! Thanks for all the support and kind words...Corey really appreciated all the comments he received and was very appreciative!

I did send out an additional post yesterday regarding "The Outcome."

Thanks again...AR is fabulous!

MAR

2007

What classifies a young person? I think it is relative. You can have a 35 year old person that is immature like a 21 year old, or vica versa a young person in the 20ies who is wiser and has more life experience than a 35 year old. Has anybody noticed this phenomenon?

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