Can it be that at my age I've only learned four important lessons?

No, of course not. But on the other hand, some of the things that I've learned are obvious to all. They are the kind of things that we all learn as we go through life.

On the other hand, the four lessons that I'm sharing here were taught in specific settings and had a far-reaching impact in my life.

Here they are; take them for what they are worth:

1.    Repetition Is the Key, Repetition Is the Key. When I was a young man I was involved in Boy Scouts. One year I accompanied our troop to a Scout camp in the Adirondacks. They had a short list of lessons that they taught each incoming group of Scouts. This was lesson number one, "Repetition Is the Key, Repetition Is the Key" -- I don't remember the other lessons. Since that time (was it really 25 years ago?) the importance of this lesson has been driven home many times and in many ways.

In teaching my children, repetition is the key.
In leading at my church, repetition is the key.
In every real estate transaction, repetition is the key.

We show them, we tell them, we illustrate for them. We creatively drive home the point, over and over, in many different ways, gently and directly.
   
2.    Always Take the Lesson. While on a ski trip (only 24 years ago) I was in the company of a young man who was a far better skier than I. At breakfast we were discussing which was the best package to buy. He chose a package that included lessons. When I questioned why he would do such a thing—after all, he was already a star on the slopes—he said, "Always take the lesson." His reasoning was that when he, as an experienced skier, took the lesson, he was always the only one in his class. That meant he would get a private lesson from the best instructor that the resort had, and that it was coming at a group-lesson price.

Every day we have the opportunity to show off how good we are. We also have the opportunity to listen to someone who is a little more experienced and to learn from him/her in a one-to-one setting. Call a master of the trade and take her out to lunch. Invite your favorite Yoda to spend some time.  Take the lesson.

3.   Don't Be the Coffee Hero. I used to work at a place where, over the years, different people took the responsibility of making the coffee. They did it, not because it was an assigned duty, but because they were the ones who drank the most of the Joe. I noticed that each one, in turn, would make a big deal about his self-sacrificial duty. "Oh, what a great person I am. I make the coffee for all of the little people." OK, a little bit of sarcasm, but you get the idea.

When you do something for someone else, let them take notice. If it is something great, they will point it out. If you are deserving, they will tell others. If you make the coffee, enjoy it, let others enjoy it, but don't try to be a coffee hero. Pointing out how great you are tends to blunt the edge of the experience.

4.   Sneak Up on Stop Signs. This one comes from a more recent conversation with a friend who is a car nut. He owns several different cars and treats all of them like family. One day we were discussing how to get the most out of a vehicle and he said, "John, a wise man said, 'Always sneak up on stop sings, and always sneak away from stop signs.'" The obvious and immediate application is that cars fare better when you treat them gently. Don't wear out the breaks prematurely by racing up to a stop sign and slamming on the breaks. Don't have a heavy foot.

But, think about it with me—If we live life with gentle stops and easy starts, we can get a whole lot more out of relationships, have more productive time with clients, and probably live longer. It is easier on others and ourselves when we approach life with ease -- not rushing into things and not rushing away from things. Having said that, remember that when we rush into something we may have no choice but to rush away!