I agree but I have learned the hard way, I receive approx. 50 calls per week or emails of people who want to purchase real estate however they cant qualify cant imagine why I wont still show them houses of course we try to assist them provide direction and etc. then we get yelled at why we wont show homes!

Susan, I agree and am like you.  I want to make everyone happy and bend over backwards and it is now starting to take it's toll.  I think if you could say no in that cute little pink button kind of way, no one would ever be upset :).  I have a friend that taught me to say no to stuff.  She never offers an explanation, she just says no and moves along.  Very effective.

Maybe I'll blog about this for my next real estate therapy post.  It takes a lot of practice to learn to say no.  The most important thing to remember is that people will still like you even when you do.  If they don't then they weren't real friends anyway.

Kudos to you.

Susan,

It comes with age. Saying No gets much easy as I get older. Life is too short to be doing everything for everyone else when you have been neglecting your own needs. I wish you well!

Inherently, I'm like you as well Susan.  I've learned the hard way and am slowly turning the corner.  I don't mind helping, I prefer it, but sometimes you got to put that foot down and create a footprint in the land.

just say

I have learned to say no as well. I tend to help people with their tech needs, and I end up spending way too much time on it when I am so busy myself.

Susan,

We all know how to say NO...but can we say it politely!!! Thanks,   Fran

Susan - Learning to say no is one of the hardest things we have to learn. Sometimes even harder than accepting no.

Susan - I like your blunt honest response to "Why not?  It will be fun."  I have said this myself a few times.  The t-shirt reminds me of a Mark Twain quote about not using too many words when writing:

Eschew surplusage.

Susan, you need to hang around me more, because I am a pleaser too, BUT I have mastered this. Here's the coaching for not going to the baby shower, not volunteering for everything, not running over to everyone else's house when they need you at the drop of the hat.... Don't make up the excuses or the flowery sentences formulating in your mind. You have too many vocabulary words in your head. It comes from reading too many books : )

A) first, for whatever reason, it doesn't matter, but I lately go with my gut feel more than my brain, say this isn't something I want to do now or spend my time, energy or money on and then here's the simple way to control your life again.

B) Just say, "No." Think of Nancy Reagan as you alter ego. It is really not as painful as you think. As a matter of fact it is highly freeing of your time, and if you ever want to turn into a control freak like me, you get to say No 19 out of 20 times. You can learn this behavior but it must be practiced.

So next time you call me and ask me if I will help you in inserting a YouTube video in your blog I will promptly say NO. But then you'll get let off the hook because you will be that 1 out of 20 Yes'es for the day. It's very simple, JUST SAY NO.

Gary, why do I feel a sense of irony in that last statement? (LOL)

Susan, you have my sympathy and empathy on this subject. My failure to "just say no" has caused quite a bit of drama in my life. Sometimes, you also have to hang up the phone on people... It can get really rough putting your foot down. Do what you have to do, girlfriend.

All of the feedback has been very good.  The only problem I have is Gary's suggestion that I think of Nancy Reagan as my alter ego and then suggesting is not as painful as I might think.  Nancy Reagan as a liberal dem's alter ego??  It doesn't get much more painful than that!!  Lol!!

I was being selfish when I said no to the baby shower but it's a summer Sunday and I have a pool and I just don't want to go!  So, I'm not! 

And Gary, NO!! I won't be using Nancy Reagan as my alter ego.  How about Murphy Brown?  I think we may have more in common!

Susan, you were not being "selfish" you were dealing honestly with your feelings and decided you would rather be happy and do something else. Avoiding aggravation is never selfish, it's prudent. :-)

NO.  I started saying it when I was two years old and haven't stopped yet.

No. No. No.

Good for you!

Haaaa! Mandycap is in the house! Too funny! I forgot we started saying no at two. You'd think with me suffering through the terrible twos with a PPD-NOS minion I'd remember that! (ROTFL) Kids have a way of bringing clarity to a situation, don't they? :-)

Amanda, with your looks, I'm sure you had to say NO many times as a teen!  You did, didn't you?

C- You are so right.  Children bring a very painful clarity to life at times!

Susan,

You are so funny sometimes!  YES, I mean NO is one of the hardest words to say when you are a People Pleasing type of personality like us!  Perhaps, I too am getting older and learning not to feel guilty so much when I say No!  I used to make excuses and say maybe, but I am learning to exercise the NO button more than I used to.

You and Gary Woltal are too funny with your bantering back and forth.  I laughed so much, I was crying and I really needed a good hearty laugh as part of my prescription to stay healthy!  It is good for the soul and heart they say!  Thank you for adding to my daily quota of laughter to keep me healthy!

Have a Colorful Day!

Susan, Alleluia... I see you back! I did miss  you. Your babbling funny comments are doing someting to me. I guess is called "have you under my skin" girl. 

Ah about the post.... You are absolutely right! Nice people like you are taken for granted! All the time. I know!

Susan, what I want to know, is why are you so GOOD at saying NO to me? My theory is I make a good doormat for you. Hey but at least I'm a nice doormat. One of those doormats that enjoys pain.

I think I need to go back to my shrink and see if I am playing this game right.

Hey Gary, while you are at the shrink, could you pick me up some Ritalin? 

No problem Amanda. I'll pick up your monthly meds to save you the trip in. Price of gas you know LOL.

Amanda, my new theory on Susan where she thinks she has conquered me and can say a big NO to me and blow me down but stands up on a chair like a little mouse running between her legs and shrieking when invited to a baby shower, is she has gotten comfortable with me. BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART! Now I've opened up the floodgates of abuse and she can easily say NO, NO, NO to me without batting even one of her pretty eyelashes. This falls under that no good deed goes unpunished law of the universe. You be nice to them one time, and then the next thing you wake up one day and you're just the old shoe! LOL

Oh my word. Priceless!

NO NO NO NO NO... Mom, can I have a dog?  YES!

I couldnt resist!!! :)  We need to remember to say no to our clients at times as well.. stand firm and hold our ground.

Yes I remember for several years 'aquiescing' toall requests..........recipe for burnout and resentment..............I do much better now............"Thank you sooo much for Asking - I'm sorry I can't...:-) "

Liz, where were you when I needed that last line? Too funny! I am soooo going to start quoting you on that one, girlfriend! :-)