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What Do You Do First? Listen or Answer?

yelling

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah"

Okay, this is not quite the level of a pet peeve for me but it can be something that leads to a struggling conversation at best and a lost deal and/or lost referrals at worst.

I am amazed at how many people start talking with an answer before they know the question.

Of course, I've pondered how they can do this and concluded that, while aggravating, it is not a crime to be:

eager, or
knowledgeable, or
think they are knowledgeable, or
think they must be show how knowledgeable they are, or
psychic or
highly caffeinated.

But remember the goal here.... communicate to provide maximum value to your clients, service providers, staff and, well, about everyone!

Trying to make a deal happen can make you have the urge to "push" information. Resist. Let me repeat. Resist. Really.

Listening Show a little respect. If you keep cutting someone off when they really are trying to learn more, they will get frustrated or forget the important question you may later wish they had asked.

And, candidly, most people like to hear themselves talk. Guess what? It is okay to let them do most of the talking. Usually, it is the best scenario!

The person that dominates the conversation is not necessarily the one of the most value. It is not a contest (or a quarter bet) to see who can say the most words.

Another bonus of listening. The questions people ask often say more than their statements... IF you take the time to really listen. What are they asking the most about? Money? Schools? Neighborhood? Storage? Transportation? The color of the paint?

If you listen, you may learn the real fears they have and are afraid to directly express.

And that magic moment will give you an opportunity to be a person of value.

(More about how we are our own biggest obstacle here...)

Posted by Glenn Phillips (Management, Coach, Speaker) on 07/16/2008 08:02 PM

Comments (11)

What Do You Do First? Listen or Answer? in the ActiveRain Channel

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11 Comments on What Do You Do First? Listen or Answer?

A lot of people don't listen - just wait their turn to speak!

07/16/2008 08:08 PM

by Gary Waters - Real Estate Agent Viera Suntree (Century 21 Baytree Realty www.moving2brevard.com)

Glenn: It sounds to me like you need to pick a new group of agents to do business with. Sounds like each of them may also be the president of their own fan club. Yikes !

07/16/2008 08:12 PM

by Fort Worth Real Estate - - - Karen Anne Stone (RE/MAX Trinity)

A lot of agents don't know much at all, but have been told, "Fake it until you make it" So when I hear people talk, it makes me ill or laugh depending on the situation.

07/16/2008 08:24 PM

by Steve Dawson (Prudential California Realty)

Glenn, I learned a long time ago people are either listening or waiting their turn to talk. If a person is waiting for his turn to talk he is not listening.

07/16/2008 09:36 PM

by Jimmy McCall~Clarksville's Mortgage Consultant (Legacy Mortgage Services, Inc. ~ Clarksville, Tennessee)

Glenn, Great post. All too often, when people talk and talk and don't listen, they are turned off. You can almost see their eyes glaze over. LOL.

07/17/2008 10:06 AM

by Bob Cumiskey, US Army Retired, Your Sun City Center, Florida ~ Realtor (A 1 Connection Realty, Inc.)

Listening without interrupting is a learned behavior. I have practiced it for a long time now.

07/17/2008 04:33 PM

by Latonia Parks (Keller Williams Realty)

Yep basic communication skills that aren't common. Listening will make you a lot of money

07/17/2008 04:35 PM

by Spokane Real Estate - Ross Quintana (Team Quintana Real Estate - MJ McAdams Realty Lic#3015)

Gary, Excellent Point!!! Thanks!

Karen, there are some of every type of agent in our world... and every time of support service provider (my post was not limited to agents). But when I am a customer for something I do indeed do as you suggest and move along to someone that can really be of value.

Steve, isn't it interesting how difficult can be for people to say, "I don't know but I will find out" ?

Jimmy, you are right on. That is actually a habit I have had to fight... but it has become fun to see what I can listen and learn!

07/21/2008 10:44 PM

by Glenn Phillips (Management, Coach, Speaker) (RealSource)

Bob, you know, I think that is such a great description... eyes glazed over. Very good stuff!

08/26/2008 08:04 PM

by Glenn Phillips (Management, Coach, Speaker) (RealSource)

Latonia, .... me too!!!

Ross, "Listening will make you a lot of money"... I've got to use that for our sales team! And our support team! Thanks!!

08/28/2008 06:16 AM

by Glenn Phillips (Management, Coach, Speaker) (RealSource)

This is a great post for me...I work at a very fast pace and often am sure I know what they are going to ask... I took the DISC profile awhile back and now try to mirror my clients speech speed and topics and it is definitely better.

09/10/2008 08:22 PM

by Cindy "in Indy" Marchant Indpls and Fishers Real Estate (Keller Williams)

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