I was listening to a radio program this morning on the topic of moving and how it affects men and women differently. The guest was saying that people move on the average 11 times during their lifetime. I have moved half of that and most of it was moving to and from college. The guest speaker went on to say that moving affects women and men differently. She said that men have new co-workers there to meet him and he is looking forward to the change, while a woman may feel uprooted or she may feel like her identity is lost. The speaker said that women "feel" the move.

      I got to thinking about it and it sounded like they go through the same emotions as grieving from the death of a loved on. First there is the element of surprise and disbelief. The news was sprung on her and she still can not believe that they are to move out of state. She thinks that this is the house they will stay in until they die, but surprise! Her husband announces they are to move.

      The next emotion is anger. She is angry at her husband for having to leave maybe the only home they have known and the friends she has made. Women take a long time to develop deep and lasting friendships but once these friendships are made, they are very deep. Having to move makes the woman feel like part of her is being ripped away.

      She may go through anxiety and depression. She is thinking about all what must be done in preparation for the move itself like canceling the newspaper and transferring her children's school records. The man is looking forward to this new adventure and he does look at it that way. Women by nature are nurturerers and caregivers. The bond they have with their female relatives and coworkers is very strong. We are the glue that holds the family together. I don't know about other women but I for one hate change. I like the routine and the mundane. I like to know where I will be and how long I will be there. Uprooting a tree that has been in one place for many years may cause damage to the tree but unlike the tree, we can recover.

     Women may go through a period of acceptance and adjustment for the upcoming move. She may finally realize it is beyond her control and she starts getting the kids readjusted to a new school and having them meet new friends. It is not unusual for a woman to grieve for a year or more after the move. Men have a hard time understanding this. Women are more in touch with their feelings so other women know this feeling of grief and why the woman is upset. Men need to be shown by example of how she is feeling and even then there is no assurance that they completely understand. Men have those feeling of sadness but I don't think they are in tune with those. They don't express their feelings like women do. A woman's outlet is crying whereas a man very rarely cries and especially not in the company of other men. Our makeup is dfferent and we were wired differently.

      A woman may not have co workers who are there to greet them at a new job. Especially if she is a stay at home mom, this is extremely stressful. I know when I moved to a new state for 1 1/2 years after I got married, I felt like I didn't belong there and I was extremly home sick. I never did really fit in. Only when my husband and I moved back to Indiana did I feel much much better. I got reconnected to my family and friends and the roots started to grow once again.

     Being a stager, I found this topic to be insightful. It helped me to be more sensitive to the plight of the sellers and better able to empathize with them. I understand the feelings I had and why I had them. I think I learned a great deal from this half hour radio show and I hope that you the readers have learned something also. Understanding where the sellers are coming from emotionally will hopefully make my staging job easier and make me a better person.