In the beginning, God created Heaven and the Earth.

However, before he even began, God was faced with a citation from the regulatory board.

God was granted a temporary permit for the project, but quickly received a cease-and-desist order for the oceans he planned to build; he had failed to submit an environmental impact statement.

Then God said, "Let there be light!" Immediately, the regulatory board demanded to know how the light would be made, would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? Was the light harmful?

God explained that the light would come from a large ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that a burn permit would be obtained, that there would be conservation of energy via green construction methods, and that the light would be out half the time.

God said, "Let the earth put forth vegetation, with plants yielding seed and fruit trees bearing fruit." The advisory board agreed to approve this, as long as only native seed was used and a licensed arborist was hired to select the location for each tree.

It seemed all was fine until God said the project would be completed in seven days. The officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the applications and environmental impact statement; after that would be the public hearing, and then it would be 10-12 months before ...

At this point, God moved on to create Hell

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