Whether as an agent, appraiser, buyer or seller, anyone that has done many residential real estate transactions has dealt with the owner that says (or feels), "I can get a higher price for my house because my house is SPECIAL!"... or some variant of the remark.

And since most buyers and sellers are not accustomed to large financial transactions from a business perspective.. and because they often do not understand money... the decisions are often more emotional than logical.

So, what can you do about this??? 

And, more importantly, can you help them?

First off, there are probably as many great approaches to this problem as their are sellers and agents.  But here are some ideas to consider:

1. Don't argue.  That makes people defensive and reinforces their position.  If you just need to be right and prove how smart you are, then this is not the industry for you.  It is not about being right, it is about finding ways to make the deals happen fairly for all involved.
2. Ask for help understanding what they mean (who knows, maybe there is something about the house we didn't know that adds value).

Strategy 1:

1. When asking for help understanding, ask if it is okay to make a list.  (Getting permission helps them believe you are ready to listen to them... and sometimes that is all they want... for someone to listen first).
2. Once you have permission, make three columns.
   1. Their reason (or item) such as "location", "bathroom", "pool", "Favorite designs",  etc.  If they say something is the "Best" in the neighborhood, get them to explain what best means to them.  And at this stage, don't comment or judge, just listen.  Don't agree or disagree on value.
   2. Leave this middle column blank for now, not even a title.
   3. Their belief of the value it has to them (in dollars).
3. After making the list and completing the values, cover up the last column and go back to the middle column.  Ask them to pretend they are looking to buy a house in another city.  Talk about what, as newcomers in a new city, they might look for in a house.  If they mention something not on the current list or in the current house, ADD IT to the bottom of the list.  Now, as the buyer, go back down the list and get them to assign a value to each item on the list and ask why to be sure you understand the value.
4. You can now compare the perceived initial value to the new value... and subtract off the values they would look for in a house that their house does not have! 
5. Remind them that the price in not just about how their house is special to them but also what the house is missing that buyers expect (sellers like to ignore this part).

RISKS: They will work hard to still justify the original value and not be emotionally able to assign a new value.

POSSIBLE VALUE: By creating a new perspective, they may see that the memories in their house are only important to them and are not something they can sell.

Strategy 2: 

1. Ask permission to talk about money.  People are uncomfortable and by asking it often opens the door emotionally. 
2. Ask that they agree to be very candid and if you ask anything they do not want to answer, they tell you they would rather not answer instead of giving a polite but inaccurate answer.  As their adviser, you need factual information so you can help them.
3. Once you have permission and agreement, determine what they plan to do with the proceeds from the sale.  Many people ask for a high price because they already have emotionally spent the money (or literally have spent it already).   Or they are using the house price to be "the best" to someone or show how smart they are to a neighbor, their dad, their buddies, their spouse, etc.
4. Whether they owe more than they are asking or they have only emotionally spent the money, this is the opportunity to talk about the cost of a long sales cycle that will only cost them more money.

RISKS: They won't be honest about the money or will still ignore the long sales cycle

POSSIBLE VALUE: You have discovered their emotional (or fiscal) justification.  You can either help them adjust it or, if they refuse, politely decline to proceed (a future post).

There are many more approaches and strategies and you often have to match an approach to the personality of the sellers.  And some sellers are just not going to be realistic.  Just be sure to mutually qualify quickly in a professional efficient manner.  This will help you and them find the business relationships that meet the respective needs.

Even if the buyer or seller has unrealistic emotional responses, your job is to be the professional in the process. Earn the role of trusted adviser, even if it means you don't get deeply involved in every opportunity. 

Additional Related Posts:

• Do You "Mutually Qualify" Your Potential Clients?
• Why is "MONEY" a Difficult Topic?
• Your Seller Insists on Overpricing?  Try This?