The Power of Reverse Psychology

Reverse psychology works. I know it does.

I'm no expert (well, maybe I am, after all, I have a minor in Psychology from Southwest Missouri State University, are you impressed?), but as a student of life, I've seen it happen time and again. Specifically in two important arenas of my life... Love... and Real Estate.

This being a real estate forum, I guess I'll stick to the topic of The Power of Reverse Psychology in your real estate business. If you wanna chat about love, I'll meet you on a different forum with a glass of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Inquiring agents want to know... "What's the best way to convince a FSBO to hire an agent (preferably me)?" or "How do I persuade a prospect that I'm the best man/woman/child for the job?" Most of the advice provided involves beating clients and prospects over the head with a long list of "reasons" they "should" listen to you.

But think about it. When a sales-type comes at you with his practiced pitch full of "features & benefits", don't you tend to shift into defense mode, mentally arguing with him, point by point? After all, there's no way this salesperson is smarter or more informed than you are, so why is he standing right there telling you he is?

Brian Sullivan of Precise Selling calls this behavior "Contrarian." He defines "Contrarian" as "somebody disposed to taking an opposite position: somebody who is prone to opposing policies, opinions or accepted wisdom." The reason for contrarianism is that we (human-types) love our OWN opinions far more than we love anyone else's opinion. In order to connect with your contrarian customer or prospect, you need to let him make the statements of opinion (er, sorry, fact).

But enough pseudo-sales training from me; I KNOW I'm no expert there. Here are some examples of reverse psychology in action from the world of real estate:

When competing for a listing... You say:
"Frankly, any competent real estate agent can sell a home that's well priced and well presented, there's nothing all that special about me or my company. When choosing an agent, just go with your gut feeling - who you feel the most comfortable with and who seems to care the most getting your home sold.

When prospecting to a FSBO... You say:
"The market is strong right now, so I'm sure you'll be able to sell your home on your own. It's not rocket science, after all. But if you have any questions during the process, feel free to give me a call."

When working with a new buyer... You say:
"I have all the time in the world to help you to find the perfect home. I want you to be thrilled with the home you purchase and I'll be here for you no matter how long it takes."

When discussing market value with a seller... You say:
"If another agent thinks they can get you that price, I say, hire him! He may know something I don't about selling real estate in this market. I certainly don't want you to feel that you hired the wrong man for the job."

OR

"I'll tell you what. If you need that price to make selling worthwhile, let's wait a few months. Maybe the market will improve. I'll be happy to keep you updated on the neighborhood activity and when it reaches that level, we'll hit the market right away!"

When you acknowledge the intelligence and competence of another human being, she will automatically think you're just a little bit smarter than she initially suspected. But lo and behold... she's still a Contrarian, so you may find that she begins to argue with you anyway! And that's what you want!

For example:"I have all the time in the world to help you find you a home..."
Your Buyer's Response: "Oh, no, I want to find a home as quickly as possible!" (She said it, you didn't. It now becomes HER goal)

Or...

"If you need that price to make selling worthwhile, let's wait a few months..."
Your seller prospect's response: "Oh, no, I need to sell right away! How can I do that?" (Now, suddenly, you're the expert. In HIS opinion.)

It might be different if we were doctors or attorneys or such - after all (lawyer jokes aside), the general public has a great deal of respect for these professions. But let's face it. We're real estate agents. We're perceived just slightly above car salespeople. We're paid on commission. We are not, as a general rule, the most believable group of people on the planet.

Go ahead, argue with me... after all, it's human nature!

 www.sellwithsoul.com

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

 

9 Comments on The Power of Reverse Psychology

Thanks for the reverse psychology reminder.  It seems pretty intuitive, but apparently it's not!

03/25/2007 10:34 AM by Coeur d'Alene Idaho Homes - Come Live The Life Style - Christina Ethridge (David Swarat's North Idaho Dream Team (GMAC))


Great post Jennifer, especially about the FSBO comments, love it.  Also like your website, very cool!

03/25/2007 12:03 PM by Christopher Smith (Traditions Real Estate)


Thanks for posting this Jennifer!  I try to do this when I'm working with clients, but sometimes it's hard to remember. 

03/25/2007 09:15 PM by Kelly McDonald (Semonin Realtors)


Kelly & Christina - Isn't it funny? We suspect that soft-selling/reverse psychology is a better approach, but when we REALLY want something, we revert back to the pushy, controlling salesperson and try to force our opinions on the other person.

Chris - Thanks for the compliment! I love bright colors...

Jennifer

03/26/2007 05:49 AM by Jennifer Allan, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul)


Thanks for the reminder that the response you get is a reflection of the comments we make.

03/26/2007 11:46 AM by Michael Delp (Mortgage Pro)


AMEN!  It's always important that they feel they had a choice and the decision made was their own!  That's why people don't like to be pressured, it makes them feel out of control!

Hope the sun is shining in Alabama (for Jennifer) and wherever the rest of you are located!  I LOVE Spring...

Best wishes to all.....

03/26/2007 04:10 PM by Heather Armstrong (Iowa Realty)


Oooooh... I love Alabama! America's secret little piece of paradise!

03/27/2007 03:04 AM by Jennifer Allan, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul)


Jennifer

good post -- I enjoyed reading it and will bookmark it to remember to use it.

03/27/2007 10:47 PM by Aziz Abdur-Raoof,Howard Co. Real Estate Scoop (RE/MAX Rewards)


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Real Estate Trainer: Jennifer Allan, Author of Sell with Soul (Sell with Soul)
Jennifer Allan, Author of Sell with Soul
Denver, CO
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