So, you have come to the realization that you can't pay your mortgage payment anymore.

What to do? You have heard the horror stories. You remember the things that your mother told you about paying your bills. Lessons heard from the pulpit echo quietly in the back of your mind. Nights once sleep filled become a session of tossing and turning and wondering what will happen next.

An honest dose of the truth might get you on the track to a less stressful existence.

You are not a bad person.

The stories in the press are just that....stories. The reasons that have brought you to this point can be as varied as the number of people in your same position. The only way forward is to accept where you are today. Do not believe the folks that preach moral superiority and try to paint you into a corner that offers no way out. Yes, you did sign a note. Yes, you do owe the money.

But, you can't pay what you don't have.

You should call your lender. You should explain your situation. You should ask if there is any way that your loan can be re-written with terms that you can afford to pay. You should do that because it is the right thing to do.

If the lender offers to re-write your loan...problem solved. If they refuse or if they can not offer you a loan you can afford, you have to do what is necessary to protect yourself and anyone that is depending on you for shelter.

Here are the facts.

     A short sale does nothing for you or your credit rating. The term short sale is even a misnomer in your situation. Lenders do not lose money in short sales. Short sales actually refer to a sale in which the seller actually brings money to the table at closing so the lender does not lose money.

     It doesn't matter what song and dance anyone does for you. If you do not pay the mortgage in full, that fact will be reflected in your credit rating. There is no asterick for folks that tried to sell their home and failed to receive the full amount. There are no bonus points in a credit score for being a "good guy". If you don't pay, your credit rating will be adversely rated. End of story. Your credit was "ruined" when you signed the papers for a mortgage you could not pay.

     If your lender will not work out a new loan with you, you have a responsibility to find a new home. You should do it now. If you can't pay your mortgage, you better find a rental that is affordable and make the move as soon as possible. There is no advantage to continuing sending money off to a lender in hopes that they will let you stay in the home until you find a new place to live. It won't happen!

     If you want to attempt a sale to reduce the amount of money you default on, then do so, after you move out. Please don't buy into a agent that tries to convince you that they are the saviour and if you let them sell, all will be well. Your situation is broken and no one can fix it.

     Do not buy any of the current schemes that offer to make the pain go away for $500 or $1000. The only thing that goes away with any of those schemes is your $500 or $1000.

If you can't pay...get out while the getting is good. Don't destroy the property. Don't sit and wait for the bank to come in and ask you to leave. Use the little control you have left over your housing situation and go find a new home.

One way or the other, the bank is going to get the keys. The mortgage holder does not care about your tomorrows, they only want the property or the money. You don't have the money. Let them have the house.

Tommorrow, you can begin to put the pieces together. Today, you have to act to protect yourself and those that you love.

Just my thoughts. I mean when you peel back the layers, it is only you under the covers.