Thanks, my daughters are keeping an eye out for another dog.  This time we are focusing on a young adult rescue dog.  We are looking for a small one like our current as one of the hardest things with the big dog, is when he started having ill health he could no longer come up the stairs to our bedrooms.  He didn't understand...

Also with a small dog I felt I could have held him more and comforted him ...but anyway, we loved having him a part of our family ...even my youngest who was a toddler when we got him as a rambunctious puppy.  I can remember all of us yelling often...Don't run!  cause when anyone ran he'd get all excited and run too and with my two youngest. My youngest got a set of black eyes on one memorial occassion before she understood why we didn't want her to run....

Thanks again...

PS...I'm divorced, but my ex and I are on good terms, he lives two blocks away with his wife, but anyway he was the one that took him to the vet at the end ...to my point...I don't date yet but if/when I'm ready to I figured the person HAS to love dogs....or cats... i had a cat that lived to be 21 years old and i loved her too...but seems to tell me a lot about a person...

Ginger...thanks so much for the post...I tear up writing these every time...I'm so glad you said you put your dog to sleep as well.  Years ago I put my cat to sleep ...she was 21 and lost tons of weight and had no control of bowels...no choice...but as i was waiting in the vets waiting room tears in my eyes...the lady asked why i was there and I tearfully told her and then she blasted me for my cruelty and lack of loyalty.  That was over 10 years ago or more and I still haven't gotten over it.  So when it came time for Spitz I couldn't do it and asked my ex to do it.  So hearing someone who obviously loved their pet say they had to do it as well makes me feel better.

I'll find some digital photo of the dogs and post them some time...

Kathleen...i'm trying to find a pet to adopt/rescue.  My daughters found a couple that were really cute but 8 years old.  My poodle is 8 and I definitely don't want to have two in the same age bracket.  But I am encouraged to get more active in my search.  Thanks

Andrea,  Thanks for the welcome...14 years and you still feel it?  Is it weird to say that I think my poodle was mad at me after Spitz "disappeared".  She didn't sleep in bed with me for 4 nights, even now she is sleeping with my daughter more than me.  I wonder how she'd react to a new dog...she was a submissive pup when we brought her home.   (Aactually we took Spitz to see the whole litter of puppies...she was the only one that threw herself on her back when this huge hunk of dog stood over them). 

Margaret...I guess you're right.  It's just nice to hear someone say they really understand.  Thanks.

Ray,  Wish I could have had the courage ...i went with our cat years ago had such an awful time with it I couldn't face it again...my ex went with him though and he loved him too so made me feel a bit better about it...  anyway glad to know others feel similarly...thanks

Jackie...so cool that you had a malamute.  Many have never heard of them and most thought he was a wolf or a husky.  Spitz was the same coloring as yours with the white, gray and black but he had the open face rather than the mask around his eyes.  I just spent a half hour looking for a soft copy of a photo...I know we have a few somewhere.  I'll find it and get it up in the next few days so you can see how much they looked alike. 

I'm sure if my daughters glanced at this photo they would have thought it was spitz...they are such majestic dogs and so sweet.  But he was big...was yours the big line or smaller?  Spitz was close to 140 lbs at his biggest. 

The vet said 14 was really old for this type of dog.  He blew out both of his tendons when he was less than a year old.  running, then fell and one was blown...after surgery and months of healing, the other one blew.  Never had any health problems after that though until the end. 

Paul...thanks.  I know that of it as unselfish...i didn't want to make the decision but over the last weekend he deteriorated so quickly than all of the girls and I knew it wasn't an option any longer. 

I'm glad the kids fell in love with our dogs like they did.  I thinking loving a dog is a preview of how you are capable of loving in general, dog, people etc.  They spoil our little poodle which is nice in another way as she can be held and cuddled and I wish I could have done that with spitz...he ALWAYS wanted to be at my feet and if I was getting up to get a cup of coffee or something I'd explain I was coming right back as I hated to have him struggle to get up when I was going to be right back. 

...again thanks

Well to all, I can't tell you how much it helped to talk about losing my dog...and to see how others felt similarly.  I didn't realize how I would feel or how I miss him as he was the first dog we ever owned so the first we lost...my sister who has no kids lost one of her dogs a few years ago and I now can only imagine what she felt as I think without kids your dogs take an even more important place in your heart.  I mean I said I was sorry but now i realize I should have done more to acknowledge her loss.  She sent me the nicest card when Spitz died.  I won't make that mistake again.

Donna...It is sad that people who have never had pets didn't get to experience the total love that a pet can feel for you.  they accept you with all of your faults.  there's something wonderful about that.  And they make you feel less alone. 

With my divorce a few years ago I was surprised that spitz (more so than little sara) made the girls and I feel safer.  He wouldn't harm a fly but no one could telll that by looking at him.  So I'm glad he passed through our lives and wish everyone could have such a nice experience.

I will add photos soon just got to find it....and whenver I get the next one i'll post. 

Hi Casie...don't have a pup yet...we're looking for a small rescue but I want to make sure it is a good fit for the family.  Not sure I can go through the puppy/chewing stage any more.  Don't think I have the patience.  My youngest is just now getting her driver's permit and after 3 others I really don't think I have what it takes to help her...But I appreciate your thoughts and I honestly knew it would be hard but didn't expect to be quite so hard....if the thought gets you to tears then you are a softie. 

quite a few mention their dogs were 14 when they passed...must be a common age.  I heard big dogs don't live quite as long as little ones. 

Well I can't find a good picture (soft copy) of the big guy...but I found this one that one of the girls took when he came in wet...(which by the way when he was wet...he smelled awful).  This was close to the end when he had lost weight and no longer had the 'regal' bearing...but he was still a sweetheart he wanted to be a lap dog but settled for laying on (not at) your feet where ever you were.  Promised I'd send it...

Here's the big guy. 

fisher...thanks for the understanding.  It is true they love you in a way that is totally non judgemental.  Amazing actually when you think about it...I think older people should have a pet as it really does fill up what otherwise could be an empty house.  My kids were gone last weekend and I found I talked quite a lot to Sara...it was the first time I had been alone in the house for four days in ...well never....

anyway I'll definitely let you all know when I get a friend for Sara....

Susan, I had a cat that lived 21 years and i think they get a bum rap sometimes.  (I was working full time so felt a cat was more logical.)  For years the kids had wanted a dog (don't they all) and I just felt I couldn't handle the additional stress and no one being home during the day ya da ya da...then after 20 years I left the corporate world and the kids asked again and I was...okay let's do it. 

That was 15 years ago and we've never looked back.  I can't imagine myself without a dog now.  And though I loved my cat (tasha) in some ways our relationship was always kind of on her terms. 

A dog on the other hand seems to just explode with love...no doubt in your mind that the dog worships you...and don't we all need a little of that.  As different as all my kids are and my ex and me...we all loved the dogs and they some how soften the rough edges of a bad day.

So welcome to the dog world as well.   Do you ever watch all of the amazing things dogs do???? they can identify when a child isn't breathing during the night, cancer, be the eyes of a person, tell when a seizure is about to come...I watch animal planet and am soooo amazed.  (though admittedly mine can't do any of the above...still love them.) 

what kind of puppy do you have? 

How cute is that!!!!!!!!!!  how big will he get?  Spitz was wonderful but I realize that I need a small dog (thinking 10 lbs and under) that I can take to the vet as needed, easy to cuddle for the kids and I, lap dog kind of pet.  I realized last weekend when the girls were gone for 4 days that Sara, my little poodle, kept me from feeling alone.  Weird but really she was a lot of company. 

So wondered the size...is jj a puppy?  I love his face.  thanks for sharing it....you know you can't not smile when you look at a puppy ...very good for stress and getting out of any negative thinking mode I would think.

How cute...what type of dog is amanda...she looks about the size I am thinking.

Also...would you mind telling me what is the best response when you learned someone had cancer...really as I'm trying to figure out how to word something and realize I don't know how...is it I'm sorry you went through that,..are you doing okay...etc  (I would appreciate it)

But beyond that my point was that I can imagine how supportive your amanda was...actually as much as i love my kids i would expect their patience with something like me having cancer may wear thin...i don't know I guess though our dogs are there through it all...they seem to know when we're not feeling well.  That support probably did make your bond that much deeper so the loss that much greater. 

I'm glad she was there for you and hope you are doing well...and your new pup looks like a charmer.

Pat, thanks so much for the phrase as to what the "right" thing is to say when someone says they are battling this ugly disease. 

It is true I would pray for them, but I never thought of actually saying it ...

well to you I say even though you are cancer free ...you too are in my prayers that it continues...and do believe in yourself. 

and i'd love a photo if you happen to find one...no trouble...and your new one..the shih-poo...i never heard of that one but she looks sweet. 

Thanks again.

Erin,

Sorry for your loss of Molly.  Truly now I understand and appreciate the emotions it brings.  weird but I didn't realize it until I lost Spitz.  I'm glad that I'm not the only one who felt the guilt at the same time they felt it was the right thing to do.

I know this sounds strange...but did anyone see the planet of the apes?  Did it ever make you wonder...i wonder what dogs think...or how are treat pets...pretty bizarre but i have to admit that movie did make me wonder about a few things. 

HI Audrey (my youngest daughter is Audrey...)

I guess by the time our pets are ten it's inevitable to start realizing that they are getting old...my toy poodle is 9 and I decided when Spitz died that I will look for a young adult rescue dog to be a playmate for sara.  I've seen quite a few small darling looking dogs that need rescued that are 8-10...but i don't want to have two dogs the same age both possibly dying close to each other. 

And I totally agree...until you have a pet you don't realize how much they become part of your life.  I love having them curled up in their bed next to my desk and when i get up they get up etc.  As i think of my youngest leaving the house I realize how much i will appreciate having their company.

thanks.

Thanks April...I'll check it out.  I tried to just now and got the music but my internet seems to be fading in and out so i'll try again later.  Liked the home page though....It looks like it might be a tear jerker.

Tina..thanks

My sister who has no kids lost her dog a year to so ago and when my mom told me I said that was sad but went no further.  After losing Spitz (he is the first pet I lost) I realized how hard it can be and my sister I think her dogs are her kids so it would have been that much harder and I felt bad I didnt' acknowledge it.  She on the other hand sent me nice card when Spitz died. 

So last week when my brother had to put his dog down and I called he and his wife to let them know I was sorry.  They were i think kind of surprised that I called  (we live across country and I'm not a caller).  But they really appreciated the call and it was obvious how hard the loss was for his wife when we spoke.

So to anyone reading this...be sure to call or send a card to those that lose their pets...I now know it does make a difference.

Anyway...welcome to Active Rain Tina...I wrote a post one of the "Newbie groups" giving a One Month Anniversary Shout Out...gave my top three tools and top three posts that I found in the past month to be most helpful.  Might want to go that group ...it helps.  Good luck...and hang in there past the overwhelming stage...it does get easier.

Paul, I can not imagine 'seeing' your dog get hit...even worse the person did it intentionally.  That puts the loss into even more traumatic terms...and then your horse as well...That has to be tough for anyone but in your 20s you're dealing with a lot of 'saying goodbyes', facing growing up taking on responsibilities etc...thanks for sharing.

callie...my daughter has two rottweillers...she says they are great dogs.  (One does drool a lot though which she wasn't expecting)  Anyway love your photo...130 lbs is a biggy...that's about the size of Spitz (the one I lost).  Scares people to death, but gentle as a lamb. 

Jerri, I can't imagine 13 pups!  I also can't imagine losing them so closely together.  Isn't it funny how they do sense something happened.  My toy poodle hasn't been quite the same without Spitz.  Can't quite put your finger on it but she just lost a little something...i think she is sad...or confused on where he went.  They definitely do have feelings!

I HAVE A NEW PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am on the run now but thought I would let you all know.  I have a puppy. 

Now the plan was to get a rescue adult little dog (so this time I could hold it when he/she was sick and get it in and out of the car alone etc...Spitz being 125-150 depending on his age, was too big for me to deal with when he started having his health problems.)...well that was the plan.  My 17 year old was in charge of finding options.  She went online and spent a good chunk of the summer looking for a dog.  I didn't want to go the shelters personally yet as I didn't want to see all of the dogs needing homes...so we looked at photos online.

Well she also looked on Craigs list and did a post about wanting to find a small adult dog.  well we got an email from a young woman, 23 who had a puppy that she was given by her fiance and after 3 weeks she was beside herself that she couldn't take care of it, he needed to be fed every 3 hours or so.  She'd ask if we'd consider taking it.

of course i told my daughter no, i didn't want a puppy.  However my daughter wrote her back for photos and when she showed them to me I had to admit he was cute.

So I agreed to go see him...however on the morning of going I reconsidered thinking again i didn't want to go through the puppy stage but the young woman really wanted a home for the puppy as she was getting married and worked and had no time for him.

Anyway, we met in a parking lot and she handed over what looked like a little furry chick.  Much smaller than I expected.  Charlie is a malti-poo and he is one pound.  (From Spitz being sooo big, and Charlie being sooo small it's such a contrast.)  He is the cutest thing but oh so tiny. 

Charlie has low blood suger and as we found out the hard way, if he is left too long without food (like the first night he was with us) he basically goes unconscious...i thought he was dead...scared us to death...we realized why the woman couldn't take care of him.  We work from home so we can make sure he gets food regularly.  After the first two days with him we wondered if she worked and had other activities, how he was even alive after 3 weeks.

According to the Vet Charlie is fine except he is undernourished so we are working to fatten him up.  We're hoping he gets as big as his dad who was six pounds. 

My daughter and I are taking turns getting up during the night to feed him which the doctor says may be needed for even the entire first year... But as I write this he is sitting at my feet when I'm at my desk (he preferred my lap but there's not enough room for my poodle and she doesn't like it when Charlie is up with me and she isn't...we tried with both but my desk chair isn't big enough) so he has accepted his position at my feet.  I have to be so careful not to roll my chair or step on him.

if you walk he follows, if you stop he sits at your feet waiting on your next step.  Cute but you really have to watch out for him.

Anyway...I will send photos and start a new post as soon as I get a chance.  As luck would have it I've been busier in the last week than I have in the last three months!  Believe me I'm not complaining.  I'm thrilled.!

Have a good one.

Susan,

I went to your blog and read your story and saw the photo...your baby is adorable...the funny thing is that he looks a LOT like mine...coloring etc. 

I am surprised how I actually don't mind the 'caring' for him that goes beyond the norm, maybe it turned out for the best as it is clear he 'needed' us as much as we needed him.  That 'needing' totally washed away the doubts and any 'holding back' tendency I might have been feeling. 

Thanks for sharing.  I need to get a photo of my pup so you can see the comparison.

Lane,

We had a cat for years before getting Spitz...who ended up close to 150 pounds at his biggest.  so we went the same shift, small cat to huge dog.  They got along actually pretty well.  she just ignored him most of the time. 

When I was divorced having our two dogs, (the cat had died he was 21..and we got a new poodle to cuddle) really helped me through it.  Spitz the big one made the girls and I feel much safer.  Though we knew he likely wouldn't hurt a fly, no one else knew it.  It was a comfort knowing likelihood of someone seeing him in the house wouldn't choose our house to rob.  Pets do provide support in so many ways.  There are so many people out there that I think could benefit from a pet as the unconditional love they give you would be so wonderful for people who never experienced love before. 

well anyway, good luck with your great dane...i know when spitz was growing up I actually was afraid of him for awhile.  He growled when i was near his food once.... i signed up for classes with him 'cause i knew he was going to get bigger and I couldn't have a dog I was afraid of around the kids and I.  After that it was smooth sailing.  I just didn't realize his pack dog mentality and I needed to be 'alpha'.  Once we got that straightened out he was wonderful.

Here's Charlie..............

He is all of one pound.  We are going on day 5 now and doing well.  If not on your lap (which in the office I don't have room on my lap for him and my poodle so no one can sit on my lap...as Sara is not happy if I allow Charlie to do something she can't) so he'll sit at/on your feet.  we were afraid we'd roll over him with the wheels of our chair so my daughter rigged up a ledge over the wheels and covered the wheels, so he curls up right there.

Susan, doesn't he look a bit like your new puppy?

Thanks everyone for helping me through this and encouraging me to get another one.  It really does help the healing. 

I'm blubbering again...just got back from taking Charlie to the hospital.  We couldn't get him to eat and his sugar took a dive and anyway it seemed to spiral.  I was trying to get him to eat all night but he wouldn't so I called the emergency care this morning and drove him over...

I know I've only had him a week but I'm a mess...I feel like I should have done something sooner.  They were careful not to say he will definitely pull through.  They will be keeping him on IVs and if he gets to feeling better they will force feed him if necessary. 

I just feel so bad that I could have/should have done something sooner...

I have to go out with a client now and I'm a mess...

Thanks for listening.

Well Charlie died....I did a post losing a pet part 2 as i want people to see that these 'tea cup' pups are really fragile and as one vet put it "not natural". 

In the the week I had Charlie he was seen by four vets, all said that what happened to Charlie, unfortunately isn't unusual with this type of pup.  I guess a 'tea cup' is bred to be tiny using I think one said the 'runts' of the litters for generations.  They are not strong and frequently, as in Charlie's case have one or more genetic problems.  

One explained that even if Charlie made it I needed to be aware that he would always need a great amount of care in comparisons to other breeds as these pups are so tiny if you use a certain kind of cleaner on your floors, or an insecticide in your home or yard, kill a coach roach with RAID and not get the residue off the floor, or drop a vitamin and the dog eats it, these things can put the dog into the hospital or worse.  Their systems are just not strong enough for shocks.  So an owner needs to be aware and vigilent. 

I didn't have a clue.......we just thought he was adorable...we were willing to take this on if he got through this episode but unfortunately he didn't.  Tests showed his liver was malformed.

Now that we do know this however I will not be heading down this path again, I want a healthy happy pup...but for now I think we're taking a break from looking for a dog right now.  my daughters and I agree we all learned a lesson and will stay with the plan of finding a small healthy adult (young adult) dog that needs a home.  But hopefully we will find one that can be a part of our family.

With all my blubbering I do realize that I am lucky in my life and my thoughts and prayers go to the families affected by Hurricane Ike and to those in AR that have loss family members recently or have family members who are ill.   This is trivial in comparison to what is happening in their lives. 

Hey Susan,

Sounds like you have been there and really know what i'm feeling.  It's hard to believe how quickly I got attached, staying up with him all night probably made the bond happend quicker than it would have.  But in any case I am really not wanting to go through it again.  I have another dog, little poodle named Sara, she is just starting to act a bit more normal...

The girls (my daughters) have stopped asking for another dog as they saw how hard losing Charlie was for me and i think they feel guilty they were the ones pushing for one and I spent a LOT of money trying to save him that I didn't really have to spend and got my heart broken in the bargain (probably a bit over dramatic but honestly it makes me so sad thinking about him...)

so thanks and maybe in the new year we'll look again.

Jackie,

I have never saw a hedgehog before but I guess you are right learning about death through losing a pet I guess opens the door to a discussion about life and death, healing, loss and a host of other things.  It's nice you acknowledged his loss and the importance of it via a 'ceremony' rather than minimizing it ...even though you yourself didn't get it you acknowledged his feelings.  thanks for sharing...

Pamela...thanks...i think i'm taking a break for a while before I look for another one...but I definitely would like to find one that needs a home. 

Though admittedly during the short time we had charlie and found out all of the care he needed, I have come to the realization that the next time I get a dog (preferably an adult) I will do a lot more checking upfront as to the health and care needed as I don't want to take on another pet, fall in love and realize afterwards that it has health issues, requires a huge amount of care etc...the experience with charlie was emotionally and financially a tough thing to go through...knowing that had I done my homework and asked more questions ahead of time I would probably not have chosen to 'meet' him let alone, bring him home.  Live and learn. 

hey pamela,

you say you lost Max end of August...I was wondering if you got another dog yet?  After the experience of Charlie where I was both emotionally and monetarily spent I'm taking a break from looking for another dog and since i still have Sara, a little poodle, i still have company.  Did you have another dog?  I was just wondering. 

Jack  185 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry for your loss and I know exactly what you mean about them being family.  Actually though I have 4 kids i still found the dogs immensely comforting after my divorce and since Spitz looked so scary to people I actually felt VERY protected and safe even though I used to be afraid to be alone at night.  So he helped get me and the girls through a tough adjustment period.  And 33 acres must be lovely.  It must be fun watching them run and play in all of that space.

I know what you mean about moving the feeder.  I guess I went the opposite way in that I moved things hoping it wouldn't remind me quite so much.  But as Spitz always laid in the middle of the kitchen floor when I cooked and I had to step over him (which didn't bother me a bit but drove my ex husband crazy)  I still think of him when I cook. 

I think St Bernards are so gorgeous.  Are they as good natured as they seem?  While I always thought having a st bernard would be cool, after having Spitz (he was 150 at his biggest) and me being small (just over 100 pounds) I found I can't handle the large dogs when they are sick.  I couldn't cuddle him, or get him in and out of the car towards the end, I even needed help getting him in and out to go to the bathroom and when he couldn't come upstairs any more to go to sleep with us I felt so bad for him. 

So my next dog will be a rescue but it will be small so I can take care of him...in sickness and in health.  Does sound like a marriage doesn't it.  But one where you never fight and they love you unconditionally ....how cool is that???

Maureen,

the tears are always close...i choked up just reading your post.  But in a good way.  I guess it's nice to know we can open our hearts to animals.  Tells us a lot about ourselves.  thanks for posting.

Sandi,

Thanks for the info about the tribute I'll be sure to check it out for future. 

Marian,

Sorry to hear about your Casey.  I was in Indiana this past weekend visiting family as my mom is not doing well and there were four little dogs running around.  One was my mom's, two were my sisters (my mom lives with her), she has no kids and her two dogs are her kids and the fourth was my brothers who was there visiting as well.  Katie (my mom's dog) is 15 and has heart problems and we were all talking about how wonderful company pets are. 

All four of us had lost a dog in the last year and so we all could relate...Until I lost spitz I didn't realize how much you feel the loss and how often you do think about them.   

So i know if something happened to your casey while you were gone you'd feel awful and you'd likely we worrying about him even if you decided to go so I totally understand.  I left sara my poodle with my daughter and i think she made it clear to me upon my return that she didn't like the arrangement. 

I do enjoy the company....good luck with Casey and I know how hard it is when you know the time is coming.  If you're like me you're hoping it happens in their sleep or something that keeps you from making the decision.  Though as it turned out with Spitz the last weekend he took a turn for the worst and even my kids knew it was time. 

(I like to think we'll see him again some day as on John Edwards periodically you'll hear him mention someone's pet. )

Terry,

I think having Sara (my poodle) made losing spitz a lot easier.  Sara's almost 9 and I realize that in the coming months I want to get another one (rescue small adult and housebroken with a gentle spirit).  I know they can't replace each other and i need to find one that fits into the family but I would hate to lose Sara and not have another one to cuddle and greet you at the door...especially now that my youngest is 15 and not too far away from leaving the 'nest'.

Maybe in the spring I'll be ready to start looking. 

I saw Oprah last week and she lost Sollie just recently just a couple of months after losing Sophie ...I think that would be really hard as for 15 years she had the two and now she doesn't have either.  (Granted on the farm she has a few but not the two companions that went to her office every day and slept in her room.)  I'd like to avoid that by getting a younger one now that i can 'fall in love with'.

thanks for sharing and sorry for your loss.