Kevin, you are always thinking! By the time we were able to compile facts, write, edit, and publish our book it might be outdated! That's how fast the online world is effecting the real world. Thanks for supporting me!

dean

Rebecca, thank you for your valuable feedback! The entire elevator pitch notion is taught in correctly. First connect with people, listen to them, ask them questions about their life or business, and learn about who they are and what they do.

Be mysterious at first and like Anne H. says they will invariably ask "What do you do for a living?"

Lane, first let me thank you for reading and commenting. I follow your writing and it is very solid. You raise a fantastic point and one that reminds me of a sociology class I had in college called "Crowd Mentality" It seems to me that when people are online they feel they can behave badly because they are anonymous or unseen.

This is the same mentality as pack or crowd mentality when people ban together and riot--they feel safe without worry of reprisal from authority due to their hidden identity within the crowd--no longer an individual but part of a bigger entity.  Thanks so much for letting me ramble!

dean

Hi Carey, thanks for your encouraging feedback. Genuine and authentic are true valuable assets when you are presenting yourself to others. Great points! Please come back.

Jim and Maria, thank you for reading! It is great to meet new people. I appreciate your feedback and encouragement--this is the measuring stick for my topic choices and writing. I appreciate your participation and if you find enough value please consider subscribing. Thank you!

dean

Hi Dan, great to see you! Please do have her call me I would savor the opportunity to provide her a new perspective.

Here is an idea you might be able to bring to your wife which I believe might be your style. Tell her you are practicing the most powerful yet most underutilized form of networking, outside of giving value first, available to all networkers: you are listening first.

If you listen and then ask questions and listen some more you will be happy with the results. People want to be recognized! Whether you walk in your favorite restaurant and you want the owner to come out and let you know he appreciates your business or if you walk into a networking meeting and somebody allows you to tell your business story, recognition is huge.

If you enable people to feel valued through your listening, you establish your authenticity-genuine commitment to making what Jeffrey Gitomer says is a "lasting relationship connection.  .  . not some no caring false promise see you soon blow off."

Good luck!

dean

Sherry, Now there's a title for a book: "God's Gifts to the Real Estate Industry: And I bet you think I am talking about you" wow we might have a Chicken Soups series here as I was in the software business and they were brutal in that niche. Add the car guys, investment and stock brokers, and the many multi level marketing hucksters and we might have a NY Times best seller!

Thanks for making me laugh!

dean

Jacob, you have the "secret" which is not a secret to networking. Create a relationship in an authentic genuine manner. Excellent comment. I find your example of the Portland Bus Alliance a sad reminder of the idiotic mindset so many people perpetuate when they go to a "networking" event. Thanks for reading!

dean

Hi Rich, welcome and thank you for reading. I noticed that you are an Active Rain community builder, social media networking expert, and you have a mountain of AR points! Great credentials--I appreciate your feedback.

I am in total agreement with your assessment. Web 1.0 or "brochureware" continues to liter the landscape of the blogosphere. The idea that people are taking the time to establish a blog only to post articles 2-4 times per month goes counter to the entire idea that supports Web 2.0: collaboration-communication-conversation.

Watch out here comes the soap box.

We are living in the most important and exciting time in human history. We are at the tipping point and we all have the ability to become pioneers in Web 2.0 connectivity. The blogosphere and social media networking are connecting people worldwide, providing a voice to people on a global scale, and changing the stranglehold that the mass media (often state controlled) has over news and information.

Today I have friends who read my blog in 17 countries, others who I am not aware of who read, people who I have never met but who I call friends all over the United States. My ability to communicate my views has provided me with business referrals, recognition, and an open conversation.

The saddest part of your comment to me Rich is that so many people, even here at AR, are not aware of the power they possess, the communication tools at their disposal, and the opportunities to make history as pioneers supporting a revolution of "we" and "transparency."

It's all a matter of time and in time the importance of this period in history will clear.

Thanks so much for commenting and my apologies for the speech!

dean

Lane, you are welcome and thank you for reading. I value your input and feedback. Would you give us your favorite or "most effective ways" of engaging or getting people interested in you without being explicit? It would provide people food for thought. Thanks again Lane I appreciate it!

dean

Hi Lynn, I am guessing you read my "Soap Box" comment to Rich J? I wish I could say I truly understand everything but I do not. I just feel that I understand the magnitude and importance , aka tipping point, we are now within.

Thank you for your heartfelt, kind, and wonderful words of support. I am sure some people may read my thoughts on Web 2.0 and think I am from another planet. Thanks again!

dean

Hey Patrick, You print those and make them your own. Tell people it's your list and try to live by it and you will be very successful in engaging, connecting, and making a relationship. Web 2.0 is all about honest communication and transparency. If we can together bring this thinking to the real world--it will be a better place. Thanks for your kind words and comment!

dean

Hi Dean, thanks again for your feedback--two comments on two separate posts. I really appreciate this information as it gives me a measuring stick to understand if I am providing value. It is greatly appreciated.

Now I am completely with you on the double edged sword that asking for an opinion can be to a person's communication. Sometimes, if you sense a quick and genuine connection has been forged, it is alright to ask for an opinion.

The situation dictates your actions and being able to interpret how well you are connecting goes a long way too! Thanks again Dean!

dean

Hi Amy, first let me thank you for reading and for commenting. You provide a measuring stick for my effectiveness. It is such a great method to connect when you offer to help someone and your offer is valued by that person. You immediately establish the fact that you are a professional, you will be around for a long time, and that you wish to engage in a mutually beneficial business relationship. Great work!

dean

AJ and Jodee, well said and I agree. It really is #1 that is the biggest mistake people make. And yes I too have felt that a poncho, rain gear, and boots for all the dookie on the floor would be helpful. Thank you for joining the conversation and your valued comment!

dean

Hi Dee, that is good advice and something that someone was referring to when they suggested that a person just "act naturally." You sound like a personable positive person so it is probably easier for you than many people who feel somewhat intimidated by networking.

That is the reason why I suggest that everyone get in touch with what they can offer of value for free on a continuous basis. Thanks for your feedback!

dean

Hi Latonia, that is a smart idea wearing a pin to identify yourself. I a way it is similar to my coffee table books that are really on my coffee table to spark interest in travel conversations.

Here is an idea--why doen't Active Rain produce a button stating you are active member of AR. They could even make buttons for featured contributors, group leaders, and so on. I like that idea. Thanks for you feedback and participation!

dean

Lane, I am with you all the way. Realtors, my mom was a Realtor for 30 years, love live for the trite RE cliches. I am still amazed at the number of agents who insist on having a "tag line" as the end all be all for branding. My mom's best friend in the 70's was "The Realtor with a Smile" and it drove me nuts even then as a kid.

Being recognized as knowledgable, being open and available to communicate, and being willing like you demonstrate is so much more valuable than being a cliche. Great job and as always thank you for adding to the conversation.

dean

Hi Gregory, thank you for the kind words and feedback. I too have made every mistake, in the past hopefully, on the list. I write quite a bit about networking and I will be writing about online social media networking soon. Please consider subscribing to my blog so you don't miss anything. You might check out my past posts:

1. Secrect to Networking Success

2. Skill Set

3. Tips to Engage

4. #1 Method

5. Networking: Super Hero Story

dean

Mirela, you made your own luck without realizing it. That is very cool! Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation.

dean

Kevin and Maryellen, blogging is really no longer an option it should be a stead fast rule for Realtors. I appreciate your dedication to your work and your clients. It is only human to resist but the reality is that the real estate industry is beginning to see the light of technology even with the push back factor. Keep us updated on how things are going for you; if you need any help or suggestions contact me or read here by subscribing. Thanks so much for the great feedback and support!

dean

Latonia, those types of tactics or games sometimes help people but the reality is that "working the room" is better left to politicians, hookers, and undercover agents. I had a pair of co-workers (sorry about the pun) who used to go to events to see who could "Work the Room" the best. Their definition was to run around slam cards in hands act cute, flirt, and return with a boat load of cards.

This activity created the following results:

1. Lot's of lunch offers from guys they did not want to date

2. Lot's of cards with names they could not place nor conversations they could reference when calling these new "contacts"

3. A bad reputation with all the other women in the room

4. Drew the ire of our boss

5. Perception was that these people acted like high schoolers

6. Long term tarnished their reputation within the industry

7. They became the "butt" of jokes

8. They never made a true connection leading to a business relationship

9. They were drinking while they worked the room- a cardinal sin and added dirt to their reputations

10. One actually landed an account which fostered, in their mind, the idea that "working the room" worked despite all of the bad results stated above

You are 100% correct Latonia it defeats the entire purpose of meeting someone when you can't even remember anything about them. Thank you for you continued support and feedback!

dean